Smells Like December

I’m starting to sense that it may be December. This sensation is apropos and in regards to the following significant significations:

1. Magoo will not stop with the “jiggy bells.” Yep. He really calls them that.

gettin jiggy wit dis bell

2. When we breathe out through our mouths, it makes all kinds of crazy “foagk.” So we breathe out a lot and not so much of the in until our lungs nearly explode and we pass out on the sidewalk on the way to the civic tree lighting festival, the festival in which they plug in 3 strands of lights on a giant tree the shape of a pickle. We always cover our eyes to avoid getting the “foagk” in them and so that our landing place will be a surprise when we pass out on the way to the CTLF.

BEWARE THE FOAGK (This is coming from my mouth as I take the picture.  Notice Magoo's amazement.)

3. December 1st dawned with the promise that Seattle may indeed see a white Christmas this year… with a touch of green peeking out from underneath.

This may be the closest we'll get to a white Christmas.  Hurry and taste the snow kids before it melts!

4. My craft projects have finally found willing muffin-headed recipients.

My head sure looks like a muffin top that's betterGo ahead and squeal from the cuteness.  No one will laugh at you.

5. It smells like my BIRTHDAY!!! Growing up, I always knew my birthday was coming when I could smell winter in the air. This got a little annoying to my parents as it begins to smell like winter sometime in late August up in Alberta. Down here my olfactory timing device is a little more accurate. Ere the year is over I will reach the ripe old age of 29. Condolence gifts and donations of Centrum Silver can be sent via mail.

The Reasons: a Santa who arrives on a fire engine, mittened hands eating sugar cookies, husbands who make dinner and do all the dishes so their wives can crochet

Posted in fun, fun, fun, holidays, kid stuff | 11 Comments

Going Crazy

Things are pretty crazy here and there’s no real reason why. I need to do some shifting and reorganizing and maybe think about exercising a teensy bit of self control and time management. Maybe I need the Fly Lady. Maybe I need Lara. (Does anyone know what’s happened to the Lazy Organizer? Her site’s down all the time.) Maybe I just need to go to bed.[read more at parenting.com]

Posted in all about me, parenting | 3 Comments

Christmas Tree Rulz

Tonight Laylee educated me in the ways of childish yuletide arbor dressing. Gah! I adore her.

tree-decorating-013

1. Pull each ornament from the crumpled newspaper. Gasp and squeal because of the sheer beauty of it all.

2. Ornaments get lonely if they’re spread out all over the tree. Each ornament must be touching at least 3 others or “that’s just mean.”

tree-decorating-008

3. You must group them according to color and style. Reds like reds. Candy canes like other candy canes. Shiny disco-like balls like other shiny disco-like balls.

tree-decorating-011

4. Ornaments that like each other should touch… else the sadness.

5. Pretty little girls should be the ones to hang all the pretty little ornaments on the tree.

6. Little boys get nothing.

tree-decorating-0027. If it’s Dad’s job to put the star on the top of the tree, that means that it’s his job to hold the pretty little girl while she puts the pretty little star on the tree. It’s common sense really.

8. The prettiest ornaments should be well hidden within the centermost branches of the tree “so they can be private.”

9. Glass is better.

10. Magoo did it.

11. Place several of the best ornaments at floor level so that the “mice and bugs” have something festive to look at. Make your mother feel fabulous about her housekeeping abilities.

tree-decorating-016

Posted in holidays | 22 Comments

So You Think You Can Date…date…date…date? – Updated

***Update – Eve has posted some awesome pictures and description of SYTYCD Live over at Seattle Mom Blogs. If you’re like me, the pictures will make you SCREAM!!! But then, you may be normal.***

Dan and I are on a dating spree. We dine. We movie-go. We hold hands. We send the babysitters of our town to college while draining our own children’s inheritances.

It started a couple of weeks ago with an 8-hour datestravaganza to a marriage seminar in Tacoma. The event was a little creepy and commercial but looking on the bright side, Dan says, “At least we have the memory to laugh about.” When the speaker feels the need to provide his own continuous repetitive soundtrack on a grand piano, you know you should have stayed home and rented Home Alone 3 again, instead of driving for an hour to listen to a guy sing-talk about marital bliss.

Alas, we’ll always have that memory emblazoned in our minds.

Then last weekend we snuck in dinner and a movie with Dan’s brother and his wife. Dan in Real Life was a big fat step up from personal soundtrack guy. I’d highly recommend it to anyone who loves Steve Carrell and can see the romance in bad dancing and burnt pancakes. Seriously. It was one of the most entertaining movies I’ve seen in months.

But tonight. Tonight was the big show, the date to remember, the 3 hours when Dan earned King Shuggy-Puddin Husband status for life. Tonight he took me to SOYOUTHINKYOUCANDANCE — LIVE!!!!! And he clapped and cheered and remembered the routines from last summer when I made him watch it with me every week until he was hooked and then he’d ask me to tape it for him when he had to work late and analyze the choreography and either really enjoy it or pretend to in a way that makes me want to just squidge him really hard and then learn a romantical Shane Sparks hip hop routine with him.

So we thought we could park… park…park…park?

SYTYCD-001

So we thought we could wait… wait… wait…wait?
SYTYCD-005

So the women thought they could take over the men’s restrooms… restrooms… restrooms… restrooms?
SYTYCD-006

Dan had to walk all around the building to find one that hadn’t been commandeered by the ladyfolk, but being the only male in Everett Events Center tonight, he had no trouble finding a free stall immediately. Okay, he wasn’t the ONLY male. There was one extremely happy young man sitting behind us squealing, “OhMyGosh, OhMyGosh, OhMyGosh!!!!” and one other husband who was carrying a large beer and appeared to be heavily sedated.

So we thought we could use binoculars… binoculars… binoculars… binoculars?

SYTYCD-012

So I thought I could squeeze Dan’s arm harder than I ever have during child birth… child birth… child birth… child birth? While screaming like a tween… tween… tween… tween.
SYTYCD-011

It was an amazing show, amazing. I cannot explain how amazing it was and I got to see it with my shmoop who knows the names of all the dancers and didn’t think I was nuts… nuts… nuts… nuts when I cried tears of joy through the first half and then was the only person on the balcony to give a standing ovation when the show was over. I really thought they deserved to be ovated. I still do. In fact. I’m standing as I type this. Squee!!!!!!

So this weekend we will explore Dan’s higher taste for the arts with a trip to Jazz Alley for the company Christmas party and a performance by the legendary Chick Corea and a chance to wear my high-heeled black leather boots and some red lipstick without raising questions about my career choices or hours of employment.

DAN!! I enjoy dating my husband!

Posted in around town, dancing, he's so fine he blows my mind, Love and Marriage | 22 Comments

The Upside of Deafness

I’M SORT OF TIRED OF LISTENING TO MYSELF YELL BUT LAYLEE’S TEMPORARY HEARING LOSS HAS ITS UPSIDES. [read more]

Posted in parenting | 7 Comments

Your Face is Made for Washing

If on the journey from the sink to your bed you forget whether or not you’ve washed your face, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to go back and wash it again… or for the first time, just to be on the safe side. You could also rub it briskly and thoroughly on the wrong side of your pillow case. If your sheets are less than 200 thread count, you’ll get some nice exfoliating action that way as well.

Do not use the same pillowcase for your teeth as you use for your face.

Posted in all about me, save me from myself | 13 Comments