Christmas Tree Rulz

Tonight Laylee educated me in the ways of childish yuletide arbor dressing. Gah! I adore her.


1. Pull each ornament from the crumpled newspaper. Gasp and squeal because of the sheer beauty of it all.

2. Ornaments get lonely if they’re spread out all over the tree. Each ornament must be touching at least 3 others or “that’s just mean.”


3. You must group them according to color and style. Reds like reds. Candy canes like other candy canes. Shiny disco-like balls like other shiny disco-like balls.


4. Ornaments that like each other should touch… else the sadness.

5. Pretty little girls should be the ones to hang all the pretty little ornaments on the tree.

6. Little boys get nothing.

tree-decorating-0027. If it’s Dad’s job to put the star on the top of the tree, that means that it’s his job to hold the pretty little girl while she puts the pretty little star on the tree. It’s common sense really.

8. The prettiest ornaments should be well hidden within the centermost branches of the tree “so they can be private.”

9. Glass is better.

10. Magoo did it.

11. Place several of the best ornaments at floor level so that the “mice and bugs” have something festive to look at. Make your mother feel fabulous about her housekeeping abilities.


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22 Responses to Christmas Tree Rulz

  1. Carolee says:

    I’m the first to comment! It helps to be in Africa when it’s morning here and middle of the night in most of the US. When I looked at those pictures I was feeling very nostagic for those days when my kids would help me decorate the tree. Then I realized that this year in Houston, I’ll have 3 grandchildren there for Christmas (not around when I put up the tree, however — probably a good thing), ages 2, 1 and 8 months. I’ll be able to see anew through their eyes the wonder and beauty of Christmas decorations and the cycle will start all over again. And experiencing Christmas with grandchildren will be so much better because their parents will be assembling the toys and up with them during the night.

  2. Carolee says:

    Daring One — I meant to add that I really enjoy your blog and the way it always makes me laugh. I hope you and your adorable family have a great Christmas!

  3. sandy says:

    That just teared me up..sniffle..sniffle. Happy Holidays to you and your family!

  4. Lori says:

    I love that post! At least you know the rules for next year!

  5. chilihead says:

    HILARIOUS. She’s a smart one, that Laylee. Except she forgot to put the glasses on the tree so Miss Chili won’t be left out.

  6. Heidi Hyde says:

    What a great post!! Funny stuff.

    (I have to agree with Laylee on the candycanes– they like eachother. They especially like to meet up in my stomach. For a playdate. Or something.)


  7. Simply darling! That’s how my 3 1/2 year old feels. We’ll see what she comes up with when we decorate our tree tomorrow.

  8. Sue says:

    Loved this. Loved that you remembered all of the things she said. What a cutie pie.

  9. Eve says:

    Little Boys get nothing!? Shocking Laylee! Cut the melon head a break, you won’t let him in your room anymore! 🙂

  10. Wendy says:

    Sure, make the rest of us look bad. You’ve decorated your tree already?!?!

    I can so relate about “the rules”!!! I am sure Kid will have her version, too, concerning proper ornament placement. I am imagining the clumping of identicals right off the bat!

  11. Carrie says:

    She’s hysterical. You’re going to have you hands full when she’s a teenager!

    The tree looks great 🙂

  12. Goslyn says:

    *Snort* to number 11. Hilarious.

  13. Farm Wife says:

    Oh, thank heavens I did not foolishly try to decorate my tree before reading this post. I would have scattered the ornaments hither and yon without regard for their feelings, need for friendship, privacy, or leaving any low enough for the bugs & mice. Thank you, Laylee. You have saved me from total tree disaster! You, like your mother, are brilliant!

    Oh, and I have lots of pretty little ornaments that can be squealed over. Would you like to come help?

  14. Heffalump says:

    Now…candycanes will stay touching better if you unwrap them all and then lick them so they will stick. Make sure and tell Laylee that from me…

  15. The direct quotes from her are the best. They crack me up.

    “So they can be private.”


  16. Carrie says:

    Makes perfect sense.

  17. grammyelin says:

    How wise you are to put your child’s Christmas Joy and Wonder above asthetics. I couldn’t be prouder of you! (And the tree looks great anyway.)

  18. Rebecca says:

    Perfect trees are sterile. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a tree that a little kid has decorated…
    and what a beautiful post!

  19. Lorri says:

    I’m glad someone else lets their kids decorate the Xmas tree too.

    I’m terrible at tree decorating so I might as well let the kids help out – then I can blame or should I say, credit, them.

    When we were growing up – it’s was my 4 sisters and I that decorated the tree, so I thought it was normal for children to do so now-a-days.

    Parents don’t be afraid to let the kids help out!

  20. michal says:

    thanks for reminding me that greater joy can come from letting my kids relish christmas than can come from relishing a tree decorated to my taste. besides, i can never afford the tree i REALLY want anyway! my kids have been making ornaments out of notebook paper for three days now, which i have not let them put on the tree. perhaps i need to relax and let go. thanks for the inspiration.

  21. kittyhox says:

    Sooooooo funny. That last one really got me.

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