That One Post

Today I wrote that one post, the one at the end of pregnancy where you’re actually considering removing the baby yourself by any means possible. It was 3.5 pages single-spaced in Word. It was whiny and self-indulgent and I meant every word of it. However it was also annoying and insensitive to all sorts of people who have actual serious life problems so I’m not going to post it.

Basically, my OB told me today that although I’m scheduled for an induction at 39 weeks due to the large size of the baby and how Magoo’s 10 lbs. 8 oz. did such a number on my body, it probably won’t happen because I’m not considered a priority to the hospital.

He said to be a priority you need to have the body of a woman, you know a body that’s capable of going into labor, all female-like. You can also be considered a priority if you or your baby is dying or showing signs of imminent death, if your blood pressure spikes or you suddenly grow a tail (this last part was not actually stated). The last way to become a priority is to go weeks past your due date. Since my mom’s coming to help with the baby a week early (because of my “scheduled induction”), if I go 2 weeks over, she won’t even get a chance to see that baby. What she’ll get a chance to do is push my pregnant butt around in a wheel chair and mop me up off the floor every couple of hours while I wait and cry.

I don’t go into labor, see? I don’t dilate. I don’t efface. I stay pregnant until someone at the hospital has mercy on me, which apparently is not likely. I’m having some of the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life and I’m discouraged, exhausted, ungrateful and not a little wenchy. A month from now I’m sure I’ll be over it but tonight… I’m not so much over it.

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47 Responses to That One Post

  1. Feeling your pain. 3 of my 4 had to be induced, the 3rd when I basically refused to leave the doctor’s exam room until they scheduled an induction. That works; you should try it – it’s hard to make a 39-week pregnant lady get off your exam table until she’s good and ready.

  2. Carolee says:

    So sorry your OB isn’t more sympathetic! Is it the same doctor that delivered Magoo? I would think he would be more anxious to spare you the same trauma you had then. What’s the deal with these Washington hospitals? In Texas, they schedule inductions for minor conveniences — there “my mom’s here to help at this time” is more than enough reason to schedule it. I mean, if your baby is big enough, I really hope that they’ll decide that they can make it happen. I’m praying that it will be easier for you this time! But look at the bright side — at least, if it’s bad, you’ll get lots of blog posts out of the experience!

  3. Mir says:

    *petpetpet* I’m so, so sorry, sweetie. The last days of pregnancy are sucktastic even when your body does occasionally go into labor. Please rest and be gentle with yourself.

    Thinking of you and baby!

  4. Pibble says:

    I’m also itching to have my baby. Yesterday was a full moon and yesterday was exactly how far along I was when my first was born, so even though I haven’t actually hit my due date yet, I feel like this baby is already “late.” And with every passing day, I’m even more tired, achey, swollen, grumpy and less able to pull my (rather spectacular) weight around here.

    C’mon, babies! The Mammas are done, it’s time to come out and play!

  5. Mrs Lemon says:

    How dare they tell you that you are not a priority!!?!??!?!?!!!

    In my mind I am SO using all kinds of words you can’t spell without the shift key and the numbers. That’s just ridiculous.

    And hey, whining is our right at this point. I’m only 30 weeks and 4 days, and was whining this morning that this baby needed to show up. I’m getting tired of pushing Chris’s hand away from my belly because the weight of it is too much for my whiny self.

  6. Carrie says:

    Yes, other people may have it worse than you. Yes, you need to be grateful for what you have. But sometimes you just feel bad and things are crappy. I say it’s okay to feel bad or mad. It’s hard!

  7. allysha says:

    I have a testimony of praying babies here. Seriously. Let’s start a prayer group and pray you into labor. Or that your dr. gets hit on the head with a heavy object. Whatever you want.

    Good luck, Katherine. This will soon be but a happy memory. Okay, maybe not. But it will be over and your sweet babe will be in your arms instead of your belly.

  8. cbs says:

    You sound like me! I went 2 weeks over, never dilated, effaced or any of that fun stuff. Had a c-section finally after being induced because that didn’t help either. My mother came in town a week early. Ended up being here for 4 weeks. Pretty much until none of us could stand each other!
    I wish you the best of luck!

  9. Carrie says:

    Oh Kathryn, I’m so sorry. The end of pregnancy is the WORST. I spent most of my last month with my second child crying in annoyance because my friends all kept having their babies early and I was SO jealous. Hope Wanda behaves and comes out soon.

  10. Marian says:

    The end of pregnancy can be so hard! And, you’re right, it’s not something you can voice openly for the reasons you mentioned.

    You DO have the body of a woman!! Do NOT let THAT one settle in to some deep corner of your psyche!

    Your body does know how to do this– probably even the going into labor part. Despite what medical textbooks and practitioners say, there really can be a wider range of safe “normal” timing at the end than we’re comfortable with. (Who knows? Maybe your body tends toward a 42.5 week timeline? My cycles are 35 days, and I KNOW I conceived on day 20 in my pregnancies (no other opportunities even!)– no matter how many times my first OB told me it was “impossible” according to what he knows.) Did you know that no one actually knows scientifically exactly how/why we go into labor on our own exactly when we do? Sure, there’s oxytocin involved and yada yada yada, but why is it suddenly set into motion at this particular point or that? We don’t know what the precise triggers are. But I have to believe that God, and the baby in his way, know, and that there is perfect reason for the timing– more than we can comprehend.

    Nope. You’re beautifully designed (for both birth and for being the mother of this particular child when dependent on the Lord,)whether you fit the external timeline or not.

    The discomfort will be memory soon enough, but those feelings of being inadequate– or being treated that way– will stick with you, research shows, so root’em out!

    love to you…

    PS- You could talk about some more natural ways of stimulating labor (nip*le stim, whatever) with a knowledgeable person that you trust. They work sometimes and others not– I really believe it depends on whether the body is really ready at that time or not.

    • I love you Marian. You are rad. And I will run anything I do past my doctor. He may not be able to push his way into the hospital for a delivery but he’s good at pretty much everything else and I trust him.

  11. Marian says:

    Oh, I have to add that IF you ever did want to ask about natural ways of trying to stimulate labor, you should run it by your doctor, too, since they have your most complete medical picture. S/he may not be into the whole framework generally and disparage the idea that they can ever be effective, but the question would just be, “Is there any *medical* reason why *I* could not try X?”

  12. Heather says:

    🙂 So sorry, man. 🙂

  13. Kristin says:

    Kathryn, I hear you! I am due any day – 37 weeks now but went early (37 1/2) last time. I have enjoyed following your blog these past 9 months and have related to many of your postings… just when I was feeling like a big fat blob you would post an entry referencing the same feeling. It was great to hear you complain, I mean “comment”, too – I wasn’t alone! I also took your advice about the long tshirts from Down East Basics – just the right time for me because I frequently had a 2 inch gap of ugly belly showing between my shirt and waistband (too hot for a bella band in the summer!) (Thought I will say those shirts are TIGHT. – hello chest!) So now… we wait… and wait… and wait. Hang in there!!!!!

    • They are tight. I should have been a bit stronger with my warning on that. I usually have to wear something over them. Let me know when your baby comes. I love hearing about that happening.

  14. Wow, that sounds horrible. Hope you get through tonight.


    • Tonight should be good. Dan and I have a little diversion planned to keep my mind off things. The worst part is probably the whining and Dan suffers from that more than I do.

  15. Erin says:

    Aw, that sucks. I hope your body decides to get its act together and start dilating and effacing and contracting all on its own. I never thought mine would either, but my third baby came the old-fashioned way with no pitocin. 🙂 You’re gonna make it sweetie!

  16. Pam in Utah says:

    Oooo, I’m so sorry the priority thing isn’t working for you yet. Is this the same doctor as last time? He should know, if it is, and if not, have him talk to the previous one. Now! I love you! Good luck.

  17. Diana says:

    Um…castor oil? Worked for my sister! My prayers are with you.

    • I’m considering all options. I’ve heard that doesn’t work unless you’re body’s already ready so I’m scared to deal with the discomfort if I’m not sure it’s gonna work. You never know though. I may get to that point.

  18. Carrie says:

    Wow, I’m sorry. I wrote you on Twitter, but I didn’t realize you had had a scheduled induction or about the pain you were in! I’m sorry you’re struggling so much, and I pray they’ll take pity on you soon!!! 🙁

    • I’m managing okay. It’s not constant but it doesn’t take much to bring it on so I just have to move VERY carefully, something I’m not capable of in my sleep so I often wake up in tears because I accidentally moved the wrong way. Thank you for the prayers and good thoughts. It’ll be over soon, just likely not as soon as I’d thought.

  19. Proud Daughter of Eve says:

    I’ll add a prayer to the labour-prayer chain!

  20. Amber says:

    Not that I am recommending endangering you or Wanda or anything, but Mcdonalds, Starbucks, and brisk walks right before my appointments worked wonders on hiking my blood pressure up. Just sayin..

  21. DaMomma says:

    UGH!! I was you, and people who aren’t in that position don’t get it. The pain is unbelievable. It’s not impatience, it’s agony.

    Hang in there. There’s nothing else to say, just good luck and hang in there and she’ll be here soon!!

  22. Jill says:

    Hi Kathryn,
    My four kids were all born at the same hospital you are at. I was induced at 39 weeks all four times for no other reason than I wanted to be. With #4, I was told about the overcrowding and the rules changing and the “priorities.” I was due Nov 5 and just had it in my head that besides not wanting to be pregnant one minute longer than I had to, I did not want a Halloween baby. I had the same upsetting talk with my OB about not being able to count on my 39 week induction. I stressed, cried, and was generally upset and miserable and then my scheduled day came and guess what… We will be celebrating his birthday on Oct 29! Don’t lose hope, it still happens. I will be praying hard that all the glowing, happy, watermelon swallowing, “never feel sexier than when pregnant” women in our area don’t go into labor naturally until 43 weeks and the hospital is wide open for you.

  23. Sunshine says:

    Even though I am going through a totally different pregancy story myself, I do feel with you.
    I will be at 40 weeks next tomorrow and I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of my second….on his own!!!
    Last time I was rushed into a C section that I don’t believe was warranted; This time, I am waiting it out so that baby can make his own moves…and body too.
    Here’s praying that an induction followed by a C/S is NOT the plan.
    But I do wish you all the best with your delivery, who knows, maybe this time will be different for you too??? maybe you WILL go into labor and surprise the entire medical community with a natural delivery of sorts??? Who knows!

    Good luck and Feel better!

  24. Honey Mommy says:

    That really stinks!

    My sister is the same way. She never goes into labor and is always late.

    They always schedule me before I am due because of my blood pressure. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go into labor! Then again, maybe I wouldn’t enjoy it at all!

    Best of luck… here’s hoping your water breaks or something!

  25. DaMomma says:

    Boy … she sure is quiet all of a sudden, isn’t she??

  26. Ruth says:

    My doctor sent me for an induction just because the weekend was coming and he didn’t want to be called in. the hospital was going to send me home because i wasn’t in labor and they were busy. He, the doctor, snuck in and broke my water so they couldn’t send me home. hee, hee. i felt a little bad later when i found out my friend got turned away for her scheduled induction since there were no beds remaining. the end sucks. sorry about the pain. i can’t imagine pain on top of all the other 9 month woes.

  27. If you have Net Flicks rent “The business of being born” it will cure all that makes you whine!! Happy baby birthing!!

  28. Alyssa says:

    I totally feel you! I’m 38 weeks today, and last week I talked to a different doctor in my practice, and she said I would “for sure” be induced at 39 weeks because of the baby’s size and the size of my first born. Well I saw my doctor yesterday and that idea was quickly shot down. I’ve made no signs of progressing into labor (nor did I with my first) and she wants me to wait it out. While I understand, I was so bummed to know I wasn’t going to have this baby next week. I know he’ll come when he’s ready, and I know it’s for the best blah blah blah, but I am sick of being pregnant!!! Hang in there. I feel your pain.

  29. oh no! you can’t even go to sleep at night in the hopes that it’ll be over by morning!
    hang in there, baby. just count the minutes and let them tick on by.

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