We Can Thank the Orphans

Careful driving and pagan holidays — brought to you by children with no parents.

call me 'Chuck'

Laylee: Why are you driving so slow?
Me: I’m being careful because there are so many kids out on the streets.
Laylee: You have to drive really slow because some kids have no moms and no dads. Halloween is good for kids with no moms and no dads because they can have something to EAT!

trick or treat at the officePraise Buddha for Halloween! I was kind of sort of kidding about sending candy to orphans for a tax write-off. I guess some people do it and according to Laylee, that’s the only way they get to eat… so hand out protein bars or fruit snacks next year people.

At each door, Laylee would yell “Trick or Treat,” and knock on the door gently. Magoo would throw his body against the door, bang with his fists and yell “TREAT!” He wasn’t taking the chance that they’d choose the flaming bag of excrement over giving him a pixie stick (thanks to Falwyn for the link).

I fear my children are being ostracized for their Canadian ancestry. In my hood growing up, doorbells were for wimps and losers. If you couldn’t yell “TRICK OR TREAT” loud enough to be heard, you didn’t deserve any candy. Laylee was repeatedly put in her place for not waiting until the candy givers came to the door to say it. She also frequently walked right into stranger’s homes exploring. I think that urge must come from Dan’s side of the family. If she doesn’t curb that tendency, she’s bound to be shunned for the Utah in her too.

To be fair, I often blame my odd quirks on my Canadianism when really, it’s very possible that I’m just incredibly strange.

Laylee: Oooo…It’s pretty,
Laylee: pretty.
Laylee: It’s pretty SCARY.
pretty scary
Every single one of our trick-or-treaters were dressed like a pirate. We only had one — total… but still. Show some originality!

Speaking of no trick-or-treaters coming to my block, I fear I may be falling in love with my next door neighbors and I hardly know them. They spent around 80 hours decorating their house as an enchanted palace of horror, the floating ghosts, the strobe light, the amazing cobwebs, the wreath of bones, the animatronic hand in the candy bowl, the screen projecting NOS FERATU OUT THEIR FRONT WINDOW! They have been in this area 3 years and average 5 kids per year coming by their house so they just try harder and harder. In the Ziploc bags they gave away were multiple candies, plastic jewelry, VAMPIRE TEETH, play-doh and I don’t know what else. They just plain rock.

a fairy, you can tell by the wings
Laylee ooed and awed over every beautiful dress. “Oh! Isn’t she such a lovely princess?” She made more than one insecure tween girl blush with pride. They should have been proud to be among the few and the bold ones actually wearing clothing tonight.

It seems that most tween boys went as hockey masks and the majority of the tween girls went as mental patients. It was FREEZING out there and I saw way too much black fishnet for my taste.

Me: One more house or go home?
Laylee: One more house.
Me: We can’t go trick-or-treating forever.
Laylee: I promise I won’t make you go trick-or-treating forever.

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind. I love trick-or-treating more than she’ll ever know. I’m so glad I can finally do it again without people rolling their eyes or asking my age.

The Cars movie has influenced the way Laylee sees vehicles. They all have emotions. All Civics are “pretty sad.” Explorers are “more happier.” By the end of trick-or-treating tonight, they were all “pretty tired”, Laylee noticed. I think they were also frozen solid.

And now, a highly accurate scientifically aged photo:

now150 years from now

the reasons: fairies and Charlie Brown

This entry was posted in fun, fun, fun, halloween costumes, moto-racial profiling. Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to We Can Thank the Orphans

  1. Anne/kq says:

    Cute photos! But weren’t they cold? My kids’ costumes were made of sweatshirts and the toddler still said it was cold. I was chilly myself in my long-sleeved t-shirt. And I hear that Seattle, unlike L.A., actually has fall this year. (We’re still in almost-summer weather.) Brrr! Although I guess kids get acclimated to what they grow up with. That or my kids are wusses.

  2. Lauren says:

    Oh I weep at the cuteness.

  3. As the mother of a pirate, I take offense at your words, yet I will leave a comment anyway to tell you that you have the funniest kids on the planet.

  4. Julie Q. says:

    Hey now. What’s wrong with walking into homes without knocking? A proud Utah tradition – especially when there’s candy or Jello to be found. I Love the aged photo. It’s SO realisitic.

  5. Heth says:

    Oh they are too cute! It sounds like trick-or-treating with Laylee is a night full of wonderful conversation.

  6. Tess says:

    i love the aged photo – and laylee is so sensitive.

  7. Pam in Utah says:

    Cute pictures, cute kids, cute you! Sounds like you had fun. Those neighbors are better than me! I did take my youngest out of the way to see a particularly fun house, though, even though she’s sixteen! And yes, We Went In! It was fun to see what people do for this interesting holiday!

  8. Mir says:

    I can die happy, now, having seen Magoo in his rightful getup as Charlie Brown.

  9. chris says:

    OMG, too too cute.

  10. Oh my heck, how cute (my transplanted Utahn shines through). The aging photos made me laugh. Where did you get that funny, funny girl? And her cute brother?

  11. Susan says:

    That last picture is hysterical.

  12. HLH says:

    walking into peoples homes in a Utah thang? Who knew. My son would stare past the candy giver into their home and forget to walk away.

  13. HLH says:

    walking into peoples homes is a Utah thang? Who knew. My son would stare past the candy giver into their home and forget to walk away.

  14. Tressa says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks there are more scary/bare costumes these days!

    Charlie Brown….oh, teh cute. (not that the fairy isn’t just as sweet, but boys just melt my heart!)

  15. chilihead says:

    I believe I’m in love with your neighbors too. I’m certain we were separated at birth. A bone wreath? I’m so doing that next year. And now that I have my fawg machine, I’m all over the projector.

    The kids? Too stinkin’ cute. Laylee cracks me up.

  16. Shalee says:

    I love how Laylee promised that you won’t have to trick or treat forever. I’m with you though. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it weren’t for all the looks. Heck, I’m small enough I could get away with it… That gives me an idea for next year, if only I can remember it then.

    And your kids look adorable, a fact of which I am not surprised.

  17. EmLouisa says:

    We saw 593,097 princesses. Man, Disney must be making a KILLING right now.

  18. bon says:

    DYING over the Charlie Brown!
    I think I love your neighbors as well… just down the street over here, the neighbors were giving out hot chocolates in styrophoam cups with travel lids to the parents. WOOT!

  19. Give that kid a hug from me! To think of hungry kids at Halloween, what an angel!

  20. tftcarrie says:

    After six years of NYC apartment living, I was so excited to be in a home and in a neighborhood where kids could trick-or-treat I bought a ton of candy because I didn’t want to run out! I was so excited to see all their little faces and load ’em up with the goods. And guess how many kids came by.

    Not one.

    Now my huge bowl of candy is just sitting there sadly and I don’t know what to do with it. I can’t think of one person that needs or wants candy immediatly following Halloween.

    Trying to rescue me from my sad state last night when I gave up on the trick-or-treaters and blew out the jack-o-laterns, my husband suggested I do something very similar to what your neighbors have done to try to lure more kids to the neighborhood. Seems like a lot of work for 5 kids.

  21. emily says:

    i am LOVING the charlie brown costume. too cute for words.

  22. What is that I see? Hair on Magoo’s head? Wonders!!

  23. love the Charlie Brown costume!

  24. grammyelin says:

    Man, I can’t believe how great of a sewer you are! I LOVED both costumes, but when I looked at Laylee, all I could see was that all those hours of sewing leaves for the woodland fairy really paid off. She looks SMASHING! You are the BOMB!!! And they are both adorable. Charlie was never as cute as Magoo.

  25. Rebecca says:

    Great costumes! Your kids are braver than mine – my daughter trick-or-treated about a block away from any house with a dog in it (including dogs the size of shoeboxes), and my son wept with terror at any house with animated Halloween decorations. But then, we ARE Canadian.

  26. Oh my. That’s the best. Today I got a comment from mom telling me to post about Halloween or else. You’re the culprit! Dang you for being so on the ball! Curse you Aquascum!

  27. Jaime says:

    I love the look of your blog! And that Charlie Brown costume is awesome!

  28. frogeyesalad says:

    I’m taking my kids to your neighbors house next year.

  29. Stephanie says:

    A local dentist is paying kids $1 for every pound of candy they bring in to him. Then he’s sending the treats to the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. All the kids are welcome to also color a picture in the waiting room that will accompany the candy overseas. Then he’s matching the donation amount and giving that amount of cash to the Children’s Hospital. What a great lesson to teach a child, while saving some teeth from cavities!

  30. So I lurked, and lurked, until I couldn’t take it anymore.
    I want to live in your neighborhood, so I get to see the Daring children in all their super cute glory and get vampire teeth from *my* other neighbors.

  31. Jennifer Robinson says:

    Hello! I love your son’s Charlie Brown shirt! I have been searching unsuccessfully for a toddler-sized one all over the web, and happened to stumble across your site. Where did you find it?

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