No Vehicular Urination in This Family

Posted on April 22, 2008 by The Daring One

I was driving around campus when I went to visit BYU earlier this month. Julie and I were meeting up for lunch and I arrived at the visitor parking lot with plenty of 2 minutes to spare. The lot was full but the attendant said I was welcome to drive around and double check. It really was full but in the spirit of great lurkers I’ve met in the past, I found a woman getting ready to leave, followed her to her car, put on my blinker and waited for her.

Another driver in a car smaller than my tank of familyhood headed down the aisle towards me, stopped on the other side of the exiting vehicle and put her blinker on as well. It was a showdown. It was a game of parking chicken. And she won. As soon as the car had backed fully out, she jetted in front of me and took the spot. I could do nothing but honk my horn, huff puff and throw an insane sort of adult hissy fit with my children looking on.

When I was certain there were no other spots available, I headed across campus to the additional parking by the stadium, about half a mile from where Julie and I were to meet. I dialed her cell phone. Breathing quickly through clenched teeth I growled that I would be late for lunch due to an extremely rude single woman who had no idea what it was like to tote two tired children all over the state through the snow and it might take me even longer than normal because I would have to take a side trip to the parking lot to key her car.

In the rearview mirror I caught sight of Laylee’s face, studying me closely like a mini-dose of Calm-the-Heck-Down-For-the-Sake-of-the-Children. I then started into a whole Pollyanna routine about how lucky we were to get to walk through the parking lot and see all the pretty cars and past the Marriot center and through a tunnel and over a bridge and down a spirally ramp and past a water feature and across a sidewalk and through the quad… in the snow. I told them I was sure that the mean lady wasn’t lucky enough to do ANY of those things. She had tried to be mean but in the end we had won out because we had gotten to take such an exciting and scenic walk.

The kids appeared to buy it and I even felt nearly recovered from my irrational psychotic rage by the time I met Julie for the first time. She’s as lovely as her blog and I’d hate to have terrified her with my red-faced saliva-spitting anger.

So I thought it was over… until yesterday.

We were driving in the car and suddenly Laylee asked, “Remember when we were at BYU and you said you wanted to pee in that lady’s car?”

Me: What?!
Laylee: That mean lady took our parking spot and you said you wanted to go back and pee in her car.
Me [wanting to redeem myself in her eyes but obviously not thinking it through]: NO! Honey. I would never pee in somebody’s car. I said I wanted to KEY… her… car.
Laylee: What’s “key”””
Me: It’s a bad mean thing that we should never do or even joke about and it was very inappropriate of me to even say and I am so sorry.
Laylee: But what””
Me: It’s too mean and I won’t ever do it.
Laylee: Um… okay…

So we don’t believe in urinary vandalism in this family. No ma’am. If we’re gonna do property damage, we’re gonna go for the gold. Ayaiyai! I wonder when I’ll ever learn to keep my big mouth shut when around little people with long memories and “enquiring minds.”

Posted in around town, driving, kid stuff | 28 Comments

Happy Earth Day

Posted on April 21, 2008 by The Daring One

It’s here and you can celebrate with me for three reasons. First, we get to save the planet today like Batman or Super Why. Second, there is still a ton of free stuff up for grabs over at Seattle Mom Blogs for anyone in the US to win. Third, today is the last day I’ll be talking about green things for a while. After today I will go back to blogging my kids’ vomit and my adventures in parking.

It seems like for every good thing I’m doing, there are ten more things I feel like I should be doing and then half the good things I’m doing turn out to be not as good as I thought they were. I think I’ve taught Laylee pretty well just to do her best and that her best is good enough for me. I guess my best should be good enough for me too. Here are a few things I’m focusing on this year.

1. Buying more whole foods and cooking from scratch, organic when the price is affordable. I can afford more organic if I plan carefully and don’t let produce rot as much. I frequently end up throwing away food because I over-buy or under-eat the good stuff. When I can’t buy organic (which is more than half the time), I wash produce carefully in diluted vinegar to remove surface pesticides and other contamination.

2. Buying more gifts from local artists and craftspeople instead of stockpiling sale gifts I may or may not WANT to give from my gift drawer when occasions arise.

3. Buying less of everything and being mindful of where things come from. I plan to do more with freecycle, eBay and Good Will this year and shop at one of the many antique stores in my area.

4. Figuring out what to do with my composter so I can build my very own useful landfill in the back yard for the benefit of my garden.

5. Growing a successful container garden that actually lives long enough to produce something edible.

6. Remembering my reusable grocery sacks at least half the time.

7. Turning off the water while I’m brushing my teeth.

8. Finding a way to wean off bleach by 2010.

9. Buying at least one fair trade item this year and research my favorite companies to see which of them have responsible business practices and treat their production employees well.

10. Walking to the library instead of driving. Teaching the kids to think it’s fun that we’re walking to the library instead of driving.

12. Turning the heater down 2 degrees next winter.

11. Buying thousands of hamsters to run in little wheels that will power my computer for blogging purposes.

If you’re interested in getting a free copy of Gorgeously Green (which I highly recommend), I now have 4 copies to give away at SMB.com. There are also gDiapers, Klutter Katchers, Belli Facial Care, and Method Baby products. Today’s the last day to put your name in the running.

Posted in contests, earth day, seattle mom blogs | 6 Comments

A Consuming Problem

Posted on April 20, 2008 by The Daring One

I love to buy stuff. I know you can’t buy happiness but I truly am very happy most of the time when I’m shopping. It feels good to find a “treasure,” snag it for my very own and then have the power to purchase it. Now if I can get that treasure for close to no money, even better.

The more I read about health, environmental friendliness and green living, the more I realize that nearly everything I own is either toxic, wasteful, irresponsible or unfair to humans or other animals. It makes me want to get rid of everything I currently have and then buy all new organic, non-toxic, fair trade versions of my possessions. Oooo, it’s fun being green if it means you can shop shop shop. I don’t think this is the answer either however.

If the tree has already been killed, the slave has already labored, the item already purchased and used, then unless it’s filled with lead or some other posisonous substance, it’s probably more responsible for me to use up the item I have than to chuck it in a landfill or even recycle it and keep buying more.

I have to refrain from buying more reusable grocery bags every time another store comes out with a cuter, more environmentally friendly version. Even things that are produced using resources responsibly are still using resources and anything you buy will have some impact on our world. One of the best things we can do to help the environment is to stop buying so much junk and that’s something that should fit into anyone’s budget. The next time you pick up that ill-fitting t-shirt on clearance for 3 dollars and consider buying it because it’s ONLY 3 DOLLARS, think about whether you really need it or whether you can make do with what you have at home and save that 3 dollars for something else, like a present for me.

In this spirit, I’m not going to go out and buy new organic cotton sheets until those I already have wear themselves out. When I’m buying new because I need them, then I’ll get the good stuff. I need to think about my decisions carefully instead of setting fire to all my earthly possessions so I can save the world.

Posted in earth day, poser in granolaville, shopping | 15 Comments

A Little Guilt and a Little Money

Posted on April 18, 2008 by The Daring One

I’m feeling a bit better today, one million supplements later and a trip to the naturopath that scored me a prescription for antibiotics — ear infection. I didn’t even know grownups could get ear infections, nor did I expect to be put on antibiotics by my uber-natural naturopath but I suppose I need them so there you go.

My post today at Parenting is about my sickness and woes and how the kids are dealing with it. They’re actually dealing quite well. I applaud their bouce-backishness. I’m bouncing back too, thanks to a little help from someone I’ll hereafter refer to as The Pregnant Cleaning Lady. I call her this only because she is pregnant and a cleaning lady.

Stephanie told me that a friend of hers was having a rough time and really needed work cleaning houses. I’ve never hired anyone to clean my house but I wanted to help her out and I guess I’ve been wanting to help her out subconsciously for weeks now because between the road trip and the plagues, it’s been far too long since my house has come in contact with a cleanly hand.

Enter pregnant cleaning lady. It was a strange sort of feeling to hire a woman in her late second trimester to clean my house. I knew she needed the work and I knew I needed help but it was very strange and guilt-inducing to have someone in that state scrubbin’ away at the mess I’d built up because I had a case of the sniffles (and an earache people, let’s not forget the ear ache… and the fever… and the sore throat… and the chapped lips… and the adult acne.) But even with all my infirmities, it still felt wrong to have a pregnant person cleaning my house. If she’s pregnant, she probably has all those infirmities and many many more and they’re all normal because, you know, she’s pregnant.

So I showed her where my supplies were and gave her strict instructions not to bend much or pick up anything too heavy or do anything that made her the least bit uncomfortable. Then I headed to Costco with the kids. When I came home, it was like a fairy godmother of joy had vomited pixie dust all over my house. The entire main floor was spotless. In 2.5 hours she had cleaned my kitchen and dining room from top to bottom, including buffing things that are supposed to be shiny but never are, scrubbed the bathroom, dusted, vacuumed, washed windows and straightened up everything.

Now as I blog in my immaculate house, what earlier today felt so wrong is starting to feel so very very right and addictive. If only I had the money to do this every week. My word, it would be fantastic.

Lots of fun is happening at Seattle Mom Blogs this weekend. We currently have a book giveaway and a great set of organizing bags for kids’ toys. In the next few days we’ll be giving away gDiapers, Method products, luxurious pregnancy-friendly Belli facial care items and more. Keep checking it.

Also, my lovely friend and neighbor the homeopath has made her blogging debut in honor of Earth Day. If you have a moment, please go give her some comment love.

Posted in domesticality, earth day, seattle mom blogs | 13 Comments

Anyone Can Do It

Posted on April 16, 2008 by The Daring One

We’re all green around here. At this moment, my sinuses are all over the green movement. I hate them. I want to rip them out. I want to stomp on them and run them through my Cuisinart, squeeze them dry and then light them on fire. I have great displeasure with regard to my sinuses. But enough about my ongoing battle with the plague of death that continually resurfaces just when I think it’s safe to stop buying honey and lemons by the truckload.

Laylee and Magoo are trying to be more green. Yesterday I discovered that Laylee had gone commando to preschool. She couldn’t tell me why but I can only assume it was to save space in the washing machine and conserve energy.

Magoo likes to “reuse” the water in his cup at dinner by repeatedly backwashing the same liquid (and a few of its friends) back into his cup.

Both of them are vehemently opposed to slave labor, especially when it involves me forcing them to pick up their eleventy billion tiny plastic toys from all over the floor and under my bed pillow without compensation. I’m pretty sure they’re both for fair trade too. At the very least I frequently hear my little activists chanting about things not being “fair” and whining to each other that they want to “trade” toys.

I think I’ll take my little green nasals to bed now but before I do, I have one question for you – Does it count as “clean living” if behind my sink full of filthy dishes I have a garden window full of vegetable starts?

We’re giving away a couple of copies of a great book over at SMB.com. Go enter the fun!

clean living

Posted in Random | 11 Comments

Greener Than Yesterday

Posted on April 15, 2008 by The Daring One

If you’ve read this blog for long, you know I’m not the stereotypical Seattle Eco-Mom, rallied round my family with a pocket full of granola. I’m acutally not sure anyone is that mom. I am trying to do better though. I’m making baby steps to a minty green type of life.

It’s exciting and I want to talk about it without driving everybody crazy or giving the impression that I’m an all-or-nothing Al Gore disciple. I just want to be healthy. I just want to feel like every aspect of my life is reaching towards harmony with my moral code.

If I truly believe that people should treat each other well and that the earth we live in is a gift, then I should be trying to buy more products that are produced fairly and with less pollution and less toll on the earth’s resources. It’s hard to do because I’m not rolling in money but I do lots of hard things. I think it’s possible to be healthy and have a positive impact on the planet without my brains exploding because I’m thinking too hard or draining my life savings.

I need help though. That’s where you come in. Starting today on SeattleMomBlogs.com, we’re counting down to Earth Day next Tuesday by encouraging women across the blogosphere to write about ways they’re being more mindful of the environment in their homes and in the world. Are you saving the planet, even just a little bit more than you were yesterday? Click over and find out what you can do to help. Throughout the week we’ll be giving away gDiapers, Method products, Gorgeously Green and more.

Posted in holidays, poser in granolaville, seattle mom blogs | 5 Comments