Is There Any More Doctors?

I spent the evening with Wanda at the Urgent Care facility tonight. We’re really good at ear infections and eye infections and sinus infections and pretty much every infections.

Last night she was up several times crying and in pain, so we tried to manage it with Tylenol and fluids today. She has her well baby checkup on Monday so we were hoping she could make it through the weekend without seeing a doctor.

But by this afternoon, all around her eye was red and puffy and by the evening she was holding her face and bawling. So I rushed her to Urgent Care, hoping to score some validation and antibiotics. Did I mention that, as much as we hate them, we’re good at antibiotics too?

So the MA taking her vitals freaked out just a little when her heart rate was bouncing between 165 and 168 bpm. Concerned, he hurried from the room to get the doctor. This made me nervous. Forget about the fact that I have to be having a really intense workout to get my heart rate up that high (I know kids’ heart rates are supposed to be higher) but seeing the medical professional get worried stressed me out.

So they gave her a mega dose of Tylenol and waited. An hour later she was still at 155. Then we tried Ibuprofen and half an hour later she was still at 150. They said they’d give her half an hour, but if they couldn’t bring it down, they’d send us to Children’s Hospital for an IV. But 15 minutes later the fever subsided and her heart slowed and we got to head out to the pharmacy, where we found a couple of funny things to lighten our moods.

1. The directions on the antibiotics refer to Wanda as “Wanda” like it’s her “code name” or “nickname.”

2. The directions on the antibiotics tell us to measure 3.68 ML, using this syringe. Why round up to hundredths? I could surely measure accurately to the thousandths with this bad boy.

3. The instructions on the new thermometer say “The best place to measure temperature is the center of the heart, but this can be done only under a doctor’s supervision.”

Do you know a doctor who will supervise me while I jam a thermometer in my three-year-old’s heart? Me neither. It reminds me of the time my friend asked me to watch her daughter and left me with her EpiPen.

Friend : You know how to use an EpiPen?
Me: Yeah. I just jam it into her heart and press the button, right?
Friend: (Glares at me suspiciously and takes the EpiPen back)

So, she’s home and sleeping and soon so will I be. My favorite quote of the night was at one point when we’d been waiting for a while in the exam room and she said, “Mom. Mine eye still hurts. Is there any more doctors?” Yep. There is more doctors but hopefully we won’t have to see any of them for a while.