I, Captain Barbossa

The other day I was sitting at dinner watching Dan drink water. He just drank it, gulped it down, an entire glass like it was nothing. I licked my parched lips, felt the soreness in my dehydrated kidneys and the ache in my shriveled stomach.

“That’s amazing,” I said.

It was beautiful to watch. I imagined it was me drinking, swallowing a whole 12 ounces of water with no fear of yorching it up moments later and I was transfixed.

I find myself staring at my kids while they eat, enjoying each bite in a voyeuristic sort of way, asking them to take just one more. I prepare food that I normally love but cannot stomach right now and when I do risk a bite, it inevitably comes back up.

I turned to Dan at dinner.

“I feel like Captain Barbossa!

I’m unable to eat but twistedly delight in watching other people enjoy the pleasure. Please eat a bite of the apple while I watch the slobber drip down your chin.”



This entry was posted in all about me, blick, food, preg-nancy, weight loss. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to I, Captain Barbossa

  1. nantiemeg says:

    I’ll eat an apple for you Kat. If it makes you feel better I can show a little bit of solidarity. Our favorite green space rabbit made a fantastic meal for my birthday dinner, and all I could do was watch others eat it. I had been feeling blick all day. I took one bite and it, and everything else I’d eaten came back up. Maybe you will read this and think “She knows not how I suffer!”. Yes it is true. I have not experienced the many digestive joys of being pregnant. But for that one moment I was bent over the toilet, I did feel incredibly sorry for you. I have to admit, I’ve been feeling the baby hunger creeping in lately, but in that moment, the hunger took a step back. Love you! and I hope you stop puking soon!

  2. grammyelin says:

    I agree there is a certain pleasure in watching others do, what you cannot. Just remember…once upon a time, you could enjoy eating for yourself and I have confidence that you will again one day. Let’s just hope that day comes soon – otherwise, you will be the thinnest postpartum mom in history. (Yorching as a form of weight loss? I don’t reccommend it, but in trying situations; we take our perks where we can get them.)

  3. Jessie says:

    Your curse will end soon! (Hopefully)

  4. Beck says:

    You’re nicer than I was – I remember yelling at my husband because he was eating when I couldn’t. Ha! Poor man.

  5. Debra says:

    Hang on Kathryn; just hang on.
    Hang on to a vision of you, 8.9 months down, waddling happily into Wicked after a wonderful dinner pre-show.
    A friend of mine saw it this past weekend + she said it was the best show she’s ever seen. Ever.

  6. Jess says:

    I lost over 15 lbs. with my first because I was so sick. During that time I became addicted to the “food porn” on the food network. I’d drool over foods I didn’t like in real life. It was no substitute for the real thing, but at least it gave me something to do until I could eat again!

  7. Rebecca says:

    HA! Perfect analogy.

    And I’m sorry. Very, very sorry.

  8. Kerrie says:

    Still? Man, I so feel for you. Just imagine how great everything will taste after this is all over…oh wait, that doesn’t really help you…

    Hang in there!

  9. Rachel says:

    I read this article years ago that I’ve never forgotten about a woman who struggled with underweight babies because of severe morning sickness throughout her pregnancies until she smoked marijuana medicinally and then had lovely pregnancies with big fat babies. During my last bout of stomach flu I vowed to my husband I would do the same if I had 9 months of this. Are any of your docs up for prescribing you a little bit o weed?? 🙂

    • Well, if I was gonna get it anywhere, Washington state would seem ideal. I don’t think I’m quite to the weed state of meltdown yet. I’ll keep you posted. My last baby was 10 lbs. 8 oz. so big and fat aren’t quite what I’m looking for. I don’t want malnourished either. I’ll be seeing my doctor this week and we’ll have to come up with some sort of plan.

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