Water Torture is for Sissies

If you really want to wreak havoc with your mortal enemies’ psyches, pump their house full of rabid fruit flies that have no identifiable nesting ground or food source.

The flies will billow in clouds around their heads driving them to:

-flail their arms around spasmodically
-clap loudly at random times
-hit themselves
-scream at invisible flying specs of annoyance
-repeatedly peek into bowls of apple cider vinegar laced with dish soap and cackle with self-satisfaction

Bowl of Carnage

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27 Responses to Water Torture is for Sissies

  1. bananas says:

    ewwwww!!! I HATE fruit flies!!!

  2. Carrot Jello says:

    Oh, I feel your pain. If you ever see me clapping while driving, just feel bad that I have them in my van.

  3. Ohmygosh – your blog is making me laugh! I mean, not this post in particular, but in general. I’m Behind and backtracking. Oooooo (wipe tear) I’ve missed stopping by! Thanks for being so funny (in general…I mean, not that you have to be funny all the time, just…oh forget it.)

  4. M says:

    Specks of pure evil I call them. We had some of those at my house. My husband took to scrubbing the kitchen sink with bleach every night before bed. I’m STILL not exactly sure why but I have 2 theories… 1) fruit flies are repelled by unthinkably clean kitchen sinks or 2) The Bleach-y fumes helped my husband to deal with the Going-Insane. Regardless… they’re gone now. Thank goodness. My belongings/spouse just couldn’t take the constant pummelling after spotting black specks in the corners of my eyes.

  5. Azucar says:

    We had an infestation a while back that was truly Biblical. The vinegar and dish soap was the only thing that worked. Amen.

  6. Corrie says:

    “clap loudly at random times”

    It’s funny because my kids think I’m trying to get their attention and then they see me clapping at the air around my head. Fruit Flies!

  7. Sadistic torture that would be.
    Sewer flies are worse though, we had those when we lived in the attached townhouses, would come up through the bathrooms and basement drains.

  8. Jia says:

    Oh ick! I feel your pain.

  9. Melissa says:

    Perhaps you could set their little corpses out as a warning to the others to stay away… “Fruit Flies: BEWARE”

  10. Veronica says:

    I can laugh manically because we don’t have them here in Tassie. It sounds like it sucks though.

  11. Farm Wife says:

    Oh, I had the same issue this summer. I used an apple core in a jar with a paper funnel. It got rid of them….but I might suggest you checking under things that haven’t been moved in a while. I had a never ending infestation so I emptied the pantry, thrown out anything resembling fresh fruit, and still couldn’t get rid of them. I vaccumed the little boogers out of my pantry everyday for a week before I discovered a plastic bag in the floor of the pantry under the step stool. It contained a black banana peel. The banana had rotted out of the peel completely by the time I found it. How I never smelled it is beyond me. It was vile!

  12. YES! We had them in the summer. Hubs and I kept blaming any poor son who happened to wonder in the kitchen.


    Poor kids, we never ever figured it out.

    Doesn’t it remind you of middle school science lab when we anesthisize the little buggers? I can STILL smell that stuff. Yeech.

  13. Sue says:

    Oh dear. Hope the little buggers are gone soon.

  14. Melissa says:

    Oh my gosh- they are outta control here in Portland as well! I know we have different methods (due to my time in Utah :), but we use a nice sweet glass of wine, left out over night, and the fruit flies drown themselves……sadistic and cruel, but hey- survival of the fittest. Maybe it’s a good PSA for not drinking- he he

  15. Melissa says:

    A little bird told me it was your birthday 🙂 Hope it’s a good one!

  16. nottoopensive says:

    Random household tip: the plate trick you’re using works great on fleas too. Just mix water and dish soap, turn a lamp on the plate, and bang – instant flea reduction. It’s also a lot of fun to watch the little buggers drown… muhahaha…

  17. Rebecca says:

    We had mysterious undending fruit flies for a while – it turned out that a banana had fallen behind the counter. That was grand.

  18. grammyelin says:

    There is something terribly wrong with having to deal with the little suckers in the winter. Is there no end to the trauma? Drown them. Drown them all and then laugh maniacally!

  19. Mark says:

    Our infestation wasn’t fruit flies, but little bugs that liked pasta, wheat, crackers and such. They could get into boxes, cereal packages, saltine packages, nothing short of clearing out the entire pantry (cereals, flour, sugar, pastas, crackers, rice, everything not in a can was tossed). We picked up some sure-lock containers and now all dry goods reside in there and we’re cured.

  20. Emily says:

    We had them living in our sink when we were in Florida. We solved it by dumping drano down the sink, and scrubbing the counters and sink with bleach after every meal, and spraying bleach water into the trash can frequently. Good luck!

  21. Michelle says:

    I had fruit flies recently. I cringed every time I walked into to see them sitting all over the mirror. A coworker told me to pour a half-cup of bleach down the drain (not just clean the sink) because they lay their eggs in wet places like drains. I also head of a trick of putting fruit or vinegar in a jar covered with plastic wrap with holes poked in it. Between the two, I extincted them–but the dish soap sounds easier than the plastic wrap. I’ll remember that if (heaven forbid) they ever come back.

  22. Carrie says:

    Yuck yuck yuck. I hate fruit flies. There was actually one in the delivery room when I was trying to push out Ethan. That wasnt annoying or anything.

  23. Oh, lord, I’ve had that same problem.

    Flies are a menace. And disgusting.

  24. Wendy says:

    what I want to know is how you got into my house and took pictures??

  25. Ahna says:

    Fruity smelling shampoos can attract the nasty things too. Have you recently changed brands? Whenever I forget and bring home Suave green apple, the mirror in the bathroom suddenly has moving black specks. I feel your pain!

  26. nosurfgirl says:

    could it be that Laylee hid another experiment in her backpack?

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