I Just Stepped on a Slug in My Bare Feet

Last night I got 3.5 hours of sleep. Everything seems worse than it probably really is. I wonder if I get more sleep tonight, will the slug guts be automatically cleansed from my foot?

Here are some reasons my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night:

1. I decided to try potty-training Magoo today. We’re still at the stage where I ask him hundreds of times whether his McQueen pants are wet or dry, he says dry, we high-five, then he looks down perplexedly at the puddle gathering around his feet. Where did all that yellow water come from? Hrm…

2. My right hip is sort of frozen so it hurts to unload the dishwasher. My physical therapist says it’s good if the pain is localized, rather than shooting up my spine and down my leg so I guess this is a good thing and should not be on my list of reasons why my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night.

3. I JUST MESSED UP MY LIST OF REASONS my day ate rocks because I only had 3.5 hours of sleep last night and now I have to start over:

1. I got a call from my 7-month-pregnant friend this afternoon. I was still groggy from a nap that made me feel worse than I had beforehand. She was waiting for me because I was supposed to meet her at another friend’s house. The other friend was not there to meet her. I was not there to meet her. Her car had a flat tire so she had walked her pregnant belly to our meeting spot so she wouldn’t let us down. Neither of us were there to meet her because… um… I feel like a piece of unreliable cheese.

2. The trash bag ripped open and rancid peach juice spilled everywhere.

3. Dan’s working a bazillion hours of overtime this week. I like Dan.

4. I think I owe email to about 50 people.

5. I just found out that the main character in my book club book received a prophecy that she would die by falling off a tall cliff and now she’s living at the top of a tall cliff.

6. My blue flannel pajama pants with the little white clouds all over them are dirty and so are all my other clothes.

7. Yarn and houseplants were on sale today at Fred Meyer. Hencely and thus, my entire grocery budget for the week is shot and I believe it’s only Tuesday.

8. Does your house ever get so covered in junk that you feel silly calling it messy because it’s such a ridiculous understatement but you don’t know that you’ll ever have the time or the desire in the foreseeable future to shovel it clean? Mine does.

9. My writing feels less not incoherent than usual.

10. Did I mention I stepped on a slug with my bare feet?

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48 Responses to I Just Stepped on a Slug in My Bare Feet

  1. Jenny says:

    Bizarre…I too stepped on a slug in my barefeet today and MY entire grocery budget is shot for the week because of the massive Fred Myer Anniversary sale. Step 2 Wagon 50%, I paid $35, and cheap bed sheets $2.99. Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight.

  2. Azúcar says:

    I’m delirious with lack of sleep…and I’m doing it again tonight.

    Yes, my house gets so bad I wonder if I should just move.

  3. Oh I hate days like that!! My grocery budget is blown because I went to Target today and their fall clothing was too cute to pass up (for Mommy, not the kids). I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!!

  4. Melissa says:

    Slug guts and only 3.5 hours of sleep are definitely not a good combination. And I totally feeling you on the potty training thing. I have a 3 year old whom is s t i l l in the potty training stage. *sigh*

  5. Amy says:

    Haha.. I’ve been there (most of it).

    But the slug.. *ew*

  6. JP's Mom says:

    I actually gagged and shudder just reading about you stepping on a slug with bare feet!

    So sorry!

    And please tell me about this Fred Meyer place! I see a road trip in my future…I love a great bargain place!

  7. Lori says:

    I’m so sorry! I wish I could sing you the song Manic Monday, but it wasn’t Monday when that happened. I hope things get better.

    And that slug thing is icky! Did you pour salt on it afterwards?

  8. Sketchy says:

    3.5 hours of sleep kills you everytime. Did you buy edible plants or poisonous ones? You might want to look that up, it might be information you need.

    PS: I miss Fred Meyer’s big sales. I got the cutest leather clogs there once upon a time…

  9. Sarah says:

    Hey, thanks for making my day look a little cheerier! 🙂

  10. MaryC says:

    Waaaah! A slug with bare feet! AAK! That and 3.5 hours of sleep would do me in – I hope tomorrow is better!

  11. chilihead says:

    My friend’s husband once stepped on a decomposing skunk with his bare feet. I’m not sure why he was walking barefoot in the woods. Now, does that help or hurt your frame of reference?

    And? That day would have eaten rocks whether you had 3.5 or 13.5 hours of sleep. Maybe today will be better. I hope so.

  12. Right there with you on #8. I actually curled up into a fetal position on my couch yesterday, I was so overwhelmed.

    And? “Unreliable cheese”? Girlfriend, you make me laugh even on your bad days.

  13. Wait, wait! Can I one up you on the slug story? The other night me and a neighbor were sitting on my front steps drinking a beer, in the dark. I was sipping, setting the bottle down, and drinking, setting the bottle down, and sipping…until we were done and right there…on the rim of a beer bottle…was a slug. I guess that’s better than in the beer bottle. I don’t know how my lips missed the thing.

  14. Sherry says:

    I hope today is a better day for you!

  15. Tonya says:

    Stepping on the slug with bare feet would be enough all by itself for your day to be shot. Living in the Northwest, I have had this all to unpleasant encounter with nature myself.

    These kinds of days are when I am sure the Universe if out to get me. As Scarlett would say “Tomorrow is another day!!

  16. Jenny says:

    “Does your house ever get so covered in junk that you feel silly calling it messy because it’s such a ridiculous understatement but you don’t know that you’ll ever have the time or the desire in the foreseeable future to shovel it clean? Mine does.”

    With all of my might, I wish that I could NOT relate to that, but I am so there right now. UGH.

    I hope you get a really great, totally restful night of sleep tonight!

  17. Awesome Mom says:

    Ok that is my worst nightmare!!!! I hope that things start looking up for you.

  18. Dixiechick says:

    Yuck…slugs are nasty. I have done that before, it is the nastiest feeling. Also, for us poor moms, lack of sleep is tough. Maybe tonight will be a better night for you.

  19. Sue says:

    The horror. (I mean not being able to find your pajama pants, not the slug. The slug, I could handle.)

  20. Is there something in the air or the water? Days of rock eating seem to be following me no matter how hard I try to hide from them.

    And as for being able to call the state of your home “messy,” I just wish I could have time/energy to clean it up enough to be called “messy.”

    Hope thinkgs go better today for you! Magoo, too.

  21. Shalee says:

    So what’s the book you’re reading? Sounds suspenseful!

    Oh. I think we all can relate on some level, especially the “I’m dead tired” thing, the house being so “messy” that really you’re praying that it will be condemned so that you have a real excuse to start over somewhere else, the “cheap bags” fiasco, the mountain of laundry that WILL NOT CLEAN ITSELF, the being behind on everything and the missing of my supposedly breathing husband. And grocery budget? Pffft… I gave up on that months ago.

    I did however step on a frog years ago and heard a distinct pop. I still need therapy over that one. I’ll just add it to my ever-growing to-do list.

    Now get some sleep tonight and start over again tomorrow, but without becoming a serial slug murderer, okay?

  22. Heidi says:

    Slug slime is truly disgusting, and extra care is required in removing it from the bottom of your foot. If I see a slug, it gets flung far, far into the bushes away from my garden. Unfortunately the last slimy slug I flung turned out to be wild turkey doot. Eww.

  23. Melissa says:

    Once I stepped on a dead half eaten (is “eaten” a word?) mouse that the neighbors cat left on my door step. You must understand, I CANNOT handle mice. I called my husband to tell him of this disaster, bawling my eyes out, and pouring every single sort of household cleaner I have onto my foot. I am surprised I still have a foot left after all of those chemicals mixing together.

  24. Alyson says:

    I am with you 110% on the beyond messy house. I don’t even know where to start (so I’m playing online, LOL!). I hope your day gets better. Lack of sleep does me in every time.

  25. Kimberly says:

    Oh Kathryn! What a miserable day! I don’t think it was the lack of sleep. I would’ve been bawling my eyes out at the end of a day like that even I was going on 12 hours of shut-eye. Hope today is better!

  26. Sarah says:

    Peach juice. Yummy! No need to cook supper.

  27. Melissa says:

    Lack of sleep just turns me into a monster. A snarling, griping, ornery monster. Fun fun for every one. Hope you get more sleep tonight!

  28. californiazenmom says:

    Hang in there!!

    I’m thinking maybe I am the curse in some sort of Kevin-visiting-teacher-Bacon-way. My life is fine, but now yours (my former visiting teacher) ate rocks…my one visiting teachee had her wall-sharing neighbor’s water heater flood her kitchen…my visiting teacher’s son cut his finger with a pocket knife requiring stitches..my other visiting teachee’s car broke down requiring $700 to fix, her glued-on bathroom mirror came off the wall, her 4 year old knocked over the now-leaning-against-the-wall-waiting-to-be-reaffixed bathroom mirror and shattered it, her 4 year old (after his time out for breaking the mirror) broke a jar of green olives all over the carpet, and her 11 year old dropped and shattered her $900 violin.

    Don’t you think it’s all a little too weird (cue Twilight Zone music)…

    I’ll bet 13 hours of sleep and an eyebrow wax will do you wonders…I’ll be on the next plane to join you. 🙂

  29. Angela says:

    Okay, on 3.5 hours of sleep, you are still witty and charming and muy comica. The first #3, #5, and #9 all made me REALLY laugh.
    thanks for that.

  30. Stephanie says:


  31. grammyelin says:

    I’m really really sorry! All I’ve got to say, I learned from Scarlett O’Hara. “Tomorrow is another day.” Hang in there. We’ll all say a little prayer and maybe you’ll get some sleep and tomorrow will be WAy BETTER. Good luck!

  32. Carmen says:

    Is it so sad that I know bookclub is at my house tomorrow night and so I am not going to sweep my floors till tomorrow because my monsters will just mess them up again???? We can live one more day in dirt right?

    Or that I spent the morning unpolitely yelling at my children for walking around like zombies??? My oldest daughter actually got bread for lunch today since she “mentioned” to me that she was so busy doing who knows what she didn’t have time to make her lunch…

    I love being a mom, I love being a mom, I love being a mom…

  33. Heffalump says:

    Slugs are the worst…their slime doesn’t even wash off, you have to scrape it off. I feel your pain.

  34. Katherine says:

    My house feels your house’s pain. (as another pile of mail slides off the top of the computer hutch because those sales ads are so darn slippery . . . maybe my little one will enjoy playing with those since the two dozen crayons are all now “boken” — wonder how that happened — and lying all over the floor.)

  35. Thea says:

    Yeah, I’ve stepped on a slug, too. Gross, gross, GROSS!! Especially when it happens at an ungodly hour of the morning and that’s what your feet first hit on the floor.

    I hope you sleep tonight!!

  36. Mike says:

    You stepped on a slug? That’s why I wear socks, even without shoes.




  37. bonnie says:

    o.k, I still catch u by e-mail, but I had to re-route to tell you that you made my day! Can you please write a book? I’m still chuckling, even your euphamisms (?) crack me up! I as well, wish you much sleep, rest, contentment, and did I mention sleep? Blessings

  38. RGLHM says:

    Do you know you make a crappy day really hilarious!!

  39. Jamie says:

    I stepped on a slug once and was traumatized for DAYS. Nay, WEEKS!

    My baby is 2 1/2 and I’m the world’s laziest potty training mama! Sigh… She pooped in the tub last night. Ugh.

    Hope your week gets better! It can only get better, right?

  40. Jenn says:

    :;sigh:: Im sorry. lawsy mercy I have those days. a lot of them im afraid. it must have been the night of sleepless moms, cause i didnt sleep much either. and since I was gone Monday, my only day off, the day I clean, my house is a horrible pile of clothes, and footprints on the floor, dog drool on the glass door, dust on every surface, dirty tubs, walls with fingerprints from icky boys, and a pile of laundry that needs to be done like something terrible. not to mention the 4 loads of laundry sitting on my couch, clean, folded and ready to be put away. maybe my disaster of a home will make your 3.5 hours of sleep seem a little better when looking at your house ::giggle:: hope ya get some rest, and believe me, the potty training will eventually end! wahoooo

  41. bon says:

    ooooo… yeah, get some sleep.



  42. Marian says:

    No, I did not step on a slug with my bare feet. That would no doubt be both disgusting and scream-inducing. I did, however, go to replace a brick into its spot around the border of our “garden,” and discovered a slug Love Nest. Dozens of the slimy little things that trash my plants, with lots and lots of babies. So, yes, today I became a low-life baby-killer and my conscience is troubled. Did you know, by the way, that slugs love beer? Put a saucer of beer in a slug traffic area, and within days you will find drunken little slugs floating in it. Anyway, may you sleep well tonight. Everything looks better after a decent rest.

  43. allysha says:

    I think we must be living in the same house. Maybe if I find the motivation to get out my shovel to get my cleaning started I will find you, and that would be fun.

    Also, just coming from the potty training experience for the second time myself …let Magoo take his time if he’s not ready (and he may be ready, but). Really. Best for your sanity and his.

  44. KYouell says:

    When I was a teen I would race my dog to our back slider every morning to let him out to do his bidness. One morning I cut through the kitchen and heard a crunch and felt something under my bare foot. I let the dog out and put my near-sided not-yet-wearing-my-glasses face down to the kitchen floor. There, directly under my nose, was a little mouse with a pool of blood under his head. So… crunch = skull. I think my screaming was more to do with how close my nose was to the tidy little corpse than with the fact I had just committed murder with the sole of my foot.

    It really did look like something you could see on Law & Order.

    Never have stepped on a slug, but my sympathies.

  45. Loralee says:

    I was all set to try and make you feel better but then I realized that I am on day one of my period, got 2.5 hours of sleep and made an *** out of myself on a spotlighted stage in front of many people.

    I didn’t step on a slug, though. That would have made everything much worse.

  46. Carrie says:

    I’d rather step on the slug than pick up it’s pitiful, pooped out little body that my dog left me for a gift, but you already knew that.

    Sorry to hear about the peach juice. Juice sucks to clean up.

  47. Don’t feel bad. Who DOESN’T blow their budget on yarn and houseplants?

    I have not stepped on a slug but you know what’s worse? Soooo much worse? Stepping on dog poop with barefeet and having it squish between my toes. I’ve done that. But you knew I’d say that when I said “you know what’s worse?” didn’t you?

  48. jodijean says:

    poor kathryn, the good news is that you only have one way to go and that is up. it has to get better, doesn’t it?

    i stepped on a sug in my bare feet too! i was carrying stuff into my house after the r.s. broadcast and my shoes were killing me so i took em off, and splat. i tried washing my foot three times and scrubbed it, and yet it still felt slimy!

    cheer up, look how many people dropped by to tell you that they love you, and feel your pain.

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