Stupid Day for Jerks

Today was not the best day ever. Parts of it were good. Some parts were very good. But it was kind of like a Polly Pocket gift set. THERE WERE TOO MANY PARTS. Between the hours of 5:30am and 7:30pm, I spent around 20 minutes total at home. Most of the rest of the time I had the kids with me, eating meals in the car and beggin for scraps from the Costco sample people. I did a BlogHer conference call while driving and supervising the younger siblings at preschool with my cell phone on mute…I hope…I haven’t tested that functionality before.

We didn’t even get to finish decorating for Christmas, although I did start yesterday and it is looking AWESOME! Thanks to everyone for your support of my Costco-induced insanity and to Jen for being honest. Is it just me or do you all want the jiggly snowmen so much you may sell a lock of your hair to buy them? (I’m sorry they don’t have a picture on their website, but they are snowmen made out of some sort of gelatinous goo with a light inside and they have a motion detector and they bounce and sing when someone walks past and Magoo shrieks with glee and tries to throw his body from the cart in a fit of ecstasy.)

This morning I was flipping through the Old Testament at around 6:30am because, who isn’t? I randomly opened to a passage in Isaiah that reads:

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be upon His shoulder, and His Name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. [Isaiah 9:6]

Which I totally took as a sign because… hello… I think you know where I’m going with this. Isaiah was totally plagiarizing from Handel’s Messiah and although I do not condone plagiarism, I do think it gives me license to let the merriness commence. It’s like I opened the scriptures and God said, “Go forth with the tunes.”

The children whaled off and on all day, spilled large amounts of liquid on themselves, booped at inopportune moments and slammed their heads into walls for no apparent reason. I am TIRED. Can. You. Tell? (I know I spelt “wailed” wrong, but isn’t it so much more of an interesting story that way?)

But everything turned out okay in the end thanks to my brother Mike. Turn your sound on and go play along. It can turn out to be a good day for you too.

reasons: the sippy cup that didn’t leak, piles of leaves, cinnamon sticks, fluffy socks

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22 Responses to Stupid Day for Jerks

  1. Kismet says:

    What is interesting is that you spelled spelled spelt!
    I love Christmas music and bought Christmas with Dino today 🙂


  2. Mir says:

    I AM MIGHTY!! Thanks, Mike! Suddenly I find myself… truly inspiring! 🙂

  3. Rachelle says:

    I love that link. Just what I needed today. And I so love Christmas! Bring on Black Friday!

  4. Pieces says:

    Wow. Why am I reading blogs when I CAN DO ANYTHING! I have never felt so empowered. Which means I am easily influenced.

  5. Tess says:

    Isaiah DID plagarize Handel !! way to catch that – maybe Isaiah will show up on Oprah now and be openly rebuked.

  6. Michelle says:

    Jiggly snowmen? Where? Where? I’m picturing it . . .

  7. jeana says:

    Whaling is the only way to spell it, if they’re booping and slamming into walls.

    And…you could say the snowmen are gettin’ jiggy with it?

  8. Sare says:

    I need to take a page from your book– I’m a notoriously unenthusiastic Christmas decorator. Just yesterday, DH said “hey, do you think we have enough Christmas decorations?” As we walked through Sam’s, and I said, “Yeah, let’s not get anymore lights. We have like, 4 strings.”

    And today, DH says, “what do you want to plan on doing here for Christmas– I mean, decorations?” And I said, “meh. We’re going to St. George for Christmas.”

    So I guess I’ll have to keep reading and try to work up some gelatinous-snowman-induced hysteria like Magoo. Thanks.

  9. No see, I opened my bloglines and there you were so I took it as a sign to Go Forth The Blogs. And I’m glad I did. You made me laugh.

  10. Um, that was supposed to be Now, see — not Noo see because that doesn’t not makes sense and is not funny in the way that whaling is.

  11. Rebecca says:

    I had this sudden inspiration that I should go and read your blog – apparently, DIVINE inspiration. I will now go forth and verrily, I will apply mine Christmas decorations, for Canadian Thanksgiving is long past and lo, my windowsills and mantles are bereft of decoration and mine ears long for the sounds of mighty caroling.

  12. Shalee says:

    For the record, if anyone will pay me enough, I’ll stand outside someone’s door and hold a light and wiggle and jiggle my gelatinous goo while singing all sorts of Christmas songs. One of them will even be Isaiah’s plagerized Handel Messiah song, if you so desire.

    Hey, I’m looking for ways to pay for Christmas. Even this.

    Sorry you had such a rough day, but I’m thrilled your day ended on a mighty fine note.

  13. Kendra says:

    I am so excited about Christmas too that I’m decorating too. And yes I was flipping through the Old Testament this morning at 6:30 too. lol. Hope tomorrow is better!

  14. grammyelin says:

    Christmas is coming. The goose is getting fat. And you are coming here for Thanksgiving. There are pilgrims and turkeys all over the joint. But the Chritmas decorations are just waiting to spring forth the day after. And the dishes. We will be eating off of the Christmas dishes in just over a week! Yeah!!! There is nothing so delightful as the holiday season. I love you and that you still get as giddy as me about Christmas. Let the frivolity begin!

  15. Margaret says:

    I’m not sure which brought more tears, Isaiah plagarizing Handel, or the thought of Shalee, or ANYONE, since I don’t know Shalee and don’t want her to think this is a personal insult, because it’s NOT, jiggling their gelatinous goo while singing Isaiah’s plagerized Handel Messiah song.

    Stop the madness. Please.

  16. bon says:

    Holy CRUD! Thanksgiving is coming….!!!

    You are doing Christmas and I caint wrap my head around THANKSGIVING.

  17. falwyn says:

    likewise to the Isaiah and Handel thing, 🙂 — but I was loving the idea of Magoo as Ahab… Thar she blows!!!

  18. wendy says:

    We will be living in the TLF (military for cheap hotel) for Christmas. No decorations. Maybe a teensy tree. I will live vicariously through you, k? I love Christmas!

  19. Lei says:

    Plagiarism. ROFL! And YES, go forth with the tunes!!!

  20. EmLouisa says:

    Okay. Thank you for making it official. I can now commence decorating.

  21. RGLHM says:

    Isaiah plagarizing from Handel’s Messiah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I love you. That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time!!!!

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