If I Were an X-Man

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.

Somehow it came up in conversation the other day that Dan can eat more Whoppers than any of his fellow GEEKS (Genius Extraordinary Engineering Kick-butt Superstars) at MegaCorp.


This became the topic of much conversation and it was decided that if he were an X-Man, that would be his special power.

It’s raining malted milk balls in your town. Men, women and children are running for their lives. Who do you call? Why, Daring Young Dad, of course.

I too have a special power which I have mentioned previously on this weblog. Call it a gift, a talent, or a freakish genetic mutation. Lately I have an absolutely uncanny ability to get the best possible parking spot at all times.

Today at Tar-zhay:


Hate me, if you will. I only intend to use these powers for good, striving for a world where humans and brilliant-mutant-parking-spot-goddesses can peacefully co-exist.

I have decided that from now on, parking spots will be the theme of this blog.

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24 Responses to If I Were an X-Man

  1. jessica says:

    What a great power to have (both you and DYD)! I cannot find good parking spots to save my life. I found one once (seriously once) and I just had to sit a moment in the car. It was so magical. I didn’t want the happiness to end.

    I firmly believe that right along with handicapped spots they should have lugging-multiple-children-along-with-you spots. Moms deserve a break now and then.

    I’ll tell you what – if I find that happy no crying land, I’ll definetely invite you to come along, provided you agree to use your powers to help me out with my parking spot disfunction.

  2. We haven’t thought of a good X-men-type name for me yet, so if there are any ideas, please pass them along. Whopper man?


  3. Alissa says:

    hm. parking spots? ok, i can stick around for that.

  4. mom says:

    I’ve always suspected Dan was a man of many talents. But who knew his alter ego was “Whopper Man”? Go Dan!

  5. Jordynne says:

    Goodness, I envy you. Teach me your ways oh Goddess of the Good Parking Spots?

  6. momrn2 says:

    Ok, so I’m curious. Do you keep a camera in your car to be able to take a picture of all of your great spots?? Guess if I had this “power” for finding parking spots I might do just the same. 🙂

  7. momrn2 says:

    Ok, so I’m curious. Do you keep a camera in your car to be able to take a picture of all of your great spots?? Guess if I had this “power” for finding parking spots I might do just the same. 🙂

  8. Caryn says:

    You call Target that, too! I thought that was only a midwestern thing. Hey, don’t knock your super power; it’s a pretty nice one to have. Especially with kids. Though they do say that one of the tricks to losing weight is walking more–and one of the ways they suggest to do that is to park at the back of a lot and hike in. And, you know, if you want to ignore what “they” say, fine. But it’s at your own risk. 😀

  9. The camera was an anniversary present. It is tiny and I keep it in my purse. I used to post pictures taken with my cellphone and sometimes still do. But I much prefer the 5 mega-pixels.

    I thought everyone said Tar-zhay, at least everyone in my family. 🙂

  10. kate says:

    The east coast says tar-zhay too. I envy your parking abilities!

  11. Kathryn says:

    My closest grocery store has parking right up front for pregnant women or people with kids. (I guess they mean if you have kids along with you…) Its very kind of them. I love great parking spots. You can have the ones in Seattle and I’ll just take a few here in SC. I’m putting in prayers for a good one at Sam’s Club this evening.

  12. Liz says:

    I’m just happy when I can get a parking spot at all at Walmart these days.

  13. hlh says:

    I too have “parking Gods” (as i refer to them) that allow me to find good spots in a crowded parking lot. But, here in Arizona a good spot is defined by more than just the proximity to the establishment…when it is 115 outside, prime parking is in the shade, even if you have to walk a block. It is well worth it when you get back into your car, instead of your oven.

    Dan’s X-men name…hemmm…something to do with onion breath? Or the special sauce?

  14. Queen Beth says:

    I too, share the power of great parking spots! My children shout horrays in amazment at how front parking spots magically appear when we enter a parking lot! Witty says I can sniff them out. “What’s that? What do I smell? Is that the fragrance of front parking spot?”

  15. blackbird says:

    We, here in Tuvalu, think your x-man name could be

    Space Grabber


    Parallel…(which could be spelled Parallelle if you are french_

  16. Parallelle is probably the best X-man name I’ve ever heard.

  17. bon says:

    this is a SCARY mutant power that you have!

    and DYD… have you considered “Malt-o-Man?”

    or since yer eating them.. just plain old “Malt-o-Meal.”

  18. I love malted milkballs!

  19. Heather says:

    I think he already has a special name. If Daring Young Dad can’t suffice, then I don’t know what will for an X-man who changes diapers at the speed of light AND can eat more whoppers than anyone! 🙂

  20. jessica says:

    Bon, I was thinking that same name for DYD (Malt-o-Man), until I read hlh’s comment “something to do with onion breath? Or the special sauce?”

    Now DYM or DYD must clarify – Whopper the burger or Whoppers the delicious candy? Either way still a great super power.

    If you discover that your kids have powers too, you could take your cue from Pixar and become “The Darings.”

  21. juliebaby says:

    I am possessed of a silimar gift, only I refer to mine as a Parking Anointing. Y’know. To give God glory ‘n stuff.

  22. juliebaby says:

    Silimar? *hic* pardon me. What I meant to shay wazh ‘similar. *hic* Scuze me.

  23. Pingback: Do you have a superpower ? seriously! - Personal Development for Smart People Forums

  24. Big Ted says:

    Whopper power!

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