Some Humor from my House of Sickness

I blow my nose.
Laylee: Did you do a REALLY BIG blow?
Me: Yep.
Laylee: Did you not do a median blow?
Me: Nope, that was definitely not a medium blow.

I bounce a large green ball on my head. This is cheap and easy entertainment from a mom who doesn’t want to move. Laylee has been playing independently and sweetly all day so I thought I’d give her a thrill. I hold the giant ball on my head like a big hat.
Laylee (with glee): You have a big fat man head!
Me: Yep.

flannelBut even funnier than THAT, if you can imagine such a thing, was a little blogging experience I had today. Blogging world and real world get muddled when I am unable to get out of my PJs. I switched from bathrobe to PJs and Laylee asked if I was “normal” now. I told Laylee that PJs means I’m half-way normal. Normal will be when I wear actual CLOTHES. She thinks flannel pants with strawberries on them ARE clothes.

One thing about Laylee – she makes me realize how over-rated business lunches were. I much prefer our conversations:
Laylee (smashing her bowl of Mac against mine with amazing force): Cheers!
Me: Cheers.
Laylee: Let’s do cheers with our cups.
Both: Cheers!
We eat a few bites.
Laylee: Did Sukee take it off again? (I think it’s a nursery rhyme we’ve been reading about putting a kettle on, etc. She often uses stories we’ve been reading as topics of conversation. Example — “O is veee-ry useful.” Hmmm. “If your name is Mixie Mox.”)
Me: Yep, she sure did.
Laylee: Is Bugs Bunny called a rabbit?
Me: Yes. Do you wanna say the prayer?
Laylee: No
Me: Please.
Laylee: Okay. Dear Henenly Father. We Grateful. Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Me: Amen
We eat some more.
Laylee: Mommy, can you please wipe the mess off your face with a washcloth?
Laylee: Let’s watch the Wiggles.
Me: Why don’t we have a story marathon?
Laylee: I already got a bunch of 5 stories!
Me: Okay.
Off to story time.

Oh, so funny blogging thing. Today Blackbird posted a list of toys from the FAO catalog that she puts on her “wish list,” things she will probably never buy. It’s pretty funny. So I commented that:

“This is funny. My fake wish list also includes items my community association would have a coronary about, like the 8-foot inflatable front lawn snow globe I recently saw at Costco. It has actual fake snow that falls and then gets blown back up like popcorn around 3 giant bigger-than-your-mom snowmen. It is probably the tackiest thing ever (I’m not the best judge) but oh how I want it.”

She responded with this and I laughed for 10 minutes. I’m really not getting any better.

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5 Responses to Some Humor from my House of Sickness

  1. blackbird says:

    If the link doesn’t work —
    Hey Willie, See the Pyramids?
    by Maira Kalman

    my all-time favorite children’s book.

  2. Ortensia says:

    That was one of the greatest shocks of motherhood for me…no such thing as sick day. There was no phone # to call to say “I’m not coming in this week so suck it up.” I just found it to be a real feat when my daughter was old
    enough to understand “leave the blanket on mom ALONE and enjoy a full day of TV.”

    I’m really sorry you’re feeling so terrible. I feel your pain! Here’s to good health!!

  3. Mom says:

    I can’t believe you’re talking about the humongous snowglobe. I saw that exact same one at
    Wal-merto last week. And though I knew it was insane, from the deepest corner of my overzealous pre-school teacher’s heart, I had to check the price in case of a moment of temporary insanity. $127 Ah, back to reality.

  4. Stephanie says:

    If you were to come to Woods Cross, say around Christmastime, I think you would see that snowglobe in my neighborhood. As it is, we currently have about 2 or 3 10 foot inflatable spiders and a couple of infaltable pumpkins of around the same size.

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