I’ll Trade You One Mandarin Speaker for a Pound of Pain

corn manWe live near Seattle.  We’re close enough that the commute is decent but far enough into the nowhere that we’d be more likely to go cow-tipping than clubbing on a typical Thursday night. 

We have a slightly smaller public market than the big city, slightly more people dressed as giant cornstalks in the Fourth of July parade and our newspaper is much quirkier than the big city variety.

In my local paper you will find a section called Police Beat, eerily similar to the section of the same name in my college paper.  Continue reading

Posted in around town | 21 Comments

Kathryn’s Weekend BlogHer Tattoo Parlor

I “borrowed” a handful of washable tattoos from the mommybloggers at BlogHer this summer and mailed them out to about 30 of you.  These 30 swore by blood oath to send me pictures of themselves wearing said tatts.  Here are the results.

The Hall of Fame
(Aiyaiyai! Check out these hot mamas!) Continue reading

Posted in Blogging, blogher, fun, fun, fun, world domination | 16 Comments

NO MORE CHEECE

Magoo has become addicted to string “cheece.”Â  After 2 string cheeces yesterday, I had a hard time explaining to Laylee why I was rejecting his pitiful cries for more cheece.  The bowels, the stoppage.  Dude, mom.  It’s just cheece.

I explained ad nauseum about variety and how our bodies will only grow healthy and strong if we eat a lot of different foods.  If we eat the same thing every meal we’ll die a hideous constipated death, etc.

Laylee:  Okay then.  What’s for dinner?
Me:  Oh.  I’m making cheese sandwiches.

Yes I did. 

No she didn’t.

But if she had, I would have explained that cheese sandwiches use orange cheese, which might as well be from a different planet than string “cheece.”Â  They’re not even pronounced the same.

Posted in food, kid stuff, parenting | 16 Comments

Goin’ to the Pod

Yesterday evening as Laylee evacuated her bowels prior to retiring for the night to her bedchamber, she informed me that she was “goin’ to the pod.”

Me:  Oh, really?
Laylee:  Yeah, I’m goin’ to the “pod” because, well, I’m sitting on the pod-EE.  So, it’s like I’m goin’ to the “pod.”Â  Yeah, it’s like that. 

I will grant you that around our abode, I frequently speak highly of Dan’s “bod” and it only stands to reason that over time, she would pick up this colloquial abbreviation and begin to incorporate it into casual speech with her peers.  However, she seems quite puerile to be adapting adult lexicon in such a creative fashion.

On that self-same day, she had me quite enraptured with a detailed treatise on the etiquette of flatulence and the spasmodic ejection of stomach gases.  According to Laylee’s hypothesis, the idiom “excuse me” must only be directed at a specific personage if the nature of the emission is noxious in its pungency.  Otherwise, the plea for pardon should merely be expressed to the world as a whole, no actual apology being needful as no one person has received harm.

Posted in highfalutin potty talk, kid stuff | 16 Comments

Tip Tuesday — Festive Wear for All Hallows Eve

EEEEPPPPPThe spiders of Washington State have teamed up with the haunted forest behind my house to ensure a spooky good time for everyone who lives here.  Giant spider webs stretch from every tree, column and fence post around our yard.  In the morning, the dew clings to them, making them appear thick, white and stiff. 

Sitting in the center of each web is a huge female spider who, according to a thoroughly freaked out woman in Target, will do anything AN-Y-THING to get inside my house or crawlspace and lay her bazillions of eggs at this season of the year.  I used to get excited when one of the spiders disappeared from the yard.  Now I find it moderately disturbing. Continue reading

Posted in fun, fun, fun, halloween costumes, tip tuesday | 25 Comments

They Weren’t Stale Yet

Dan’s family left us this morning while I slept.  I miss them already.  The 3 day visit seemed too short and disorganized.  We didn’t plan ahead what we would do or talk to them about their expectations for the trip.  So when it came time to go do something, we’d sit around like the vultures in Jungle Book asking each other what we wanted to do until the sun went down and then we’d hang out some more, eat some food and stay up way too late. Continue reading

Posted in family fun, kid stuff, not feelin' the funny, world domination | 18 Comments