Baby of Rage

I’ve written a new song for Wanda entitled “Baby of Rage.” The words are different every time I sing it but they basically consist of me singing to her in my sweetest voice about how she’s a Baby of Rage and I don’t know why.

Most of the time she’s a Baby of Sweetness but every so often, every day or two, she has a rough period of rage and physical turmoil that I assume is caused by digestational distress incomprehensible to someone whose intestines are as highly developed as mine.

We’re at the stage in her life where I feel directly responsible for any sickness she feels in her tummy. “It must have been those Swedish fish I ate yesterday. I’m so thoughtless! Tomorrow I will stick to a strict diet of steamed carrots and mashed potatoes.”

But then the next day I will eat the steamed carrots and mashed potatoes and sneak a bite of Magoo’s hot dog. At 1pm, Baby of Rage will surface and I will think, “What a feckless MORON am I?! I did this to her. Darn that meat product!”

In reality I have no idea what causes Baby of Rage to rear her pathetic head, squawking and grunting her way to burden-free bowels.

The composition and subsequent performance of the song reminded me of how much we enjoyed doing freestyle family rap battles back in the day, the rhyming, the flow, the hoodies and do-rags. When Wanda’s older, I hope she’ll be all up in hee-ya wid-it. Holla!

Alas. We need to work on getting her to freestyle her fecal matter before we proceed to anything more creative.

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12 Responses to Baby of Rage

  1. Marian says:

    “… egtting her to freestyle her fecal matter…” Clearly you haven’t lost your sense of humor, Baby of Rage or no!

  2. Carrie says:

    I was just thinking about you today and thinking about sending you a message DEMANDING more info about your cute new baby. Since you provided info I will instead just demand more photos 🙂

  3. Mandi says:

    Something that I found interesting and a little helpful was a book given to me by my husbands Uncle, who is a pediatrician, when we had our first. It’s The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, M.D. It was funny and helpful with a few ideas I hadn’t had like using a pacifier but weening them of it at 4-6 months so you don’t have a 3 year old using a pacifier. It worked great with my second since she needed to suck a lot more to be happy! It was so easy to ween her too but something I wouldn’t have thought to do otherwise. It might help with some ideas on the Baby Rage.

  4. cbs says:

    Oh, that’s so tough! I went through that with mine also. I was so happy when she got old enough for Mylacon (spelling?) drops. I don’t remember now if you’re not supposed to use them until a certain age or if it was just my new-momness not wanting to give her anything foreign, but they were a God-send!

  5. cyndi says:

    That’s HElarious! Now I need to go watch your rap battle 🙂

  6. mary l. says:

    Just between me, you, and the Baby of Rage, (ok, and the commenters :-)), no, it’s not you. There are a lot of things that can be passed through breast milk; most of them are beneficial, and the harmful ones usually have very little to do with what you are eating. So keep it up and don’t loose hope. Stock up on Mylicon (just make sure she’s not consuming more Mylicon than milk in a day… :-)LOL). Maybe, after all, little Baby of Rage Wandanette is simply trying to rap in sqwaking time to the beat of your tunes; you may just raise a little play-doh rapper, yet! Hopes are high…

  7. My second child was that way also, but it was more like everyday. There was much crying and rage around here and not all from her. It was a couple months before I figured out that she was lactose intolerant. Even the doctor didn’t think that was it, but when I switched her to soy formula (and stopped dairy for me…we did both) things got MUCH better. It took about a week, but she was a much happier baby. And now she has no problems with milk. And loves edamame. ;o)
    Good luck with your cute little baby. She’s lucky to have a mom that can keep her sense of humor even when it’s hard.

  8. Megan DeFilippo says:

    I had the same issue with my baby. She ended up having acid reflux. But I also cut out Dairy and tried not to overdo it on Soy and she was MUCH better. My little girl did not want to be put down ever and when I did she would scream like crazy. That part ended up being acid reflux. Anyway cuting out dairy might be worth a try.

  9. Janel says:

    Hello, motherhood. I’m sure God thinks we are strong, to give us Babies of Rage while we’re very, very, very hormonal and emotional. Good luck!

  10. says:

    Oh man! I remember those days! Have you tried Gripe Water? You can get it at a health food store. It helps to relax the bowels. Good Luck!

  11. Still loving your sense of humor despite this development. Haha


  12. Amy says:

    I totally agree with “Lady of Perpetual Chaos” – I am on a strict, dairy-free diet right now. No milk, no butter, no whey, no cassein, no sour cream, no cream cheese, no cheese, no ice cream…you get it. Anyway, it’s torture, but it’s also a God-send! Baby of Rage has disappeared in our house, yippee!!!!

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