Protuberance Thompson

We’ve got 2 months left and we still have no name for this little chica. We’re getting more and more creative with our names. We look for them everywhere. Movie credits are fertile hunting grounds for names, especially if you want to name your kid something like Ishi Tomahachigok Thompson or Matt “The Mutt” Thompson.

Driving back from our vacation we looked at road signs and business names. Wendy, Denny, Schwab, and Chevron could all be possible candidates. At one point I read aloud a sign that said, “Stay Off the Median.”

“Meedy-Anne,” I suggested, “That’s not a bad name.” Dan gave me the shifty eye-roll. Well, it’s better than “Rest Stop” or “Bump.”

Lately I’ve been referring to her as “the protuberance” although for no splickable reason I pronounce it “protRuberance.” It just sounds better and everyone knows what I’m talking about.

“I can’t push my stool up to the computer because of the protRuberance.”

“The protRuberance makes it difficult for me to cook without burning my navel.”

“My protRuberance is going nuts. Just look at it wiggle and jump!”

I work so hard to choose names for my kids that are beautiful to me but not popular in the general population. I want to be unique without being crazy. I’ve realized lately that almost everyone is trying to do the very same thing so if I find a name that’s really unusual and beautiful, chances are it will be THE name 3 years from now and my little Adeline will join a sea of Adelines heading into elementary school in the next decade.

What I should really do is stick to names that were so over-used during my childhood that none of the moms in our generation want to use them. Then my kid will be totally unique. Or I could just name her Protuberance. It has a nice ring to it, sort of like Constance only more visually evocative.

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26 Responses to Protuberance Thompson

  1. Kork says:

    OH! Protruberance is SOOOOO much better than the names we’ve used for ours…

    So far, we’ve fondly referred to our unborn as “Aluminum”, “Copper”, and now “Gold”…they then were fondly termed “parasite”, “whirling dervish”, and “karate kid”.

    Of course, we decided looong before actually conceiving our children that we would not be succumbing to the names that are trendy or hip…in fact, we have downright old-fashioned names for our children…and each of them is named for someone in our family in some way or another…which leaves us adrift for the latest addition to our family, making me extremely glad we have until March to find something!

    Now – back to your dilemma – I once saw a birth announcement in our local paper that said “A baby girl, My Only Destiny La-La…” no joke…so, um….you could follow the Zappa’s tradition and pick “Moon Unit”…or even better, how about “Mars Rover”? 😀

    OK…just kidding, and maybe laughing will make the baby dance harder than before…best rule of thumb? Make sure it doesn’t rhyme with or can associated with any bodily function or fluid! But, you know that already, since you have Laylee in school already…

  2. Heffalump says:

    My parents really want one of us to use Reaura. They came up with that when they saw a neon sign that had some letters burned out. It was supposed to spell Restaurant. I bet no one else would use that one!
    I have nieces named Aeraby and Magdalen. (Magdalen goes by Maggie of course). Those are fairly uncommon.
    How about Clementine?

  3. Melissa says:

    I’ve thought about that too… the generic names from my parents’ generation would be pretty ‘unique’ now. I don’t think I know any little kids named Linda, Jerry, or Debbie. But it seems like every friend I had growing up had a parent with one of these names.

    Although, if it was named Protruberance you could have the nickname “Ruby”… pretty cute!

  4. Mrs Lemon says:

    Our rules for baby names are a) we didn’t want the kid to grow up having to spell their name every time they said it, and b) would not be difficult for the average population to pronounce.

    I vote with Melissa – Ruby is a pretty name. 🙂

  5. Tiffany says:

    Caution: Ruby is one of those names that is “underground” popular.

  6. Katherine says:

    Love it!! And I so feel your pain! We debated and deliberated, and just about drove ourselves crazy picking a name for our second son. Have you played with Nymbleryet? Caution: it’s addictive! 🙂

  7. Aimee Aug says:

    Oh Kathryn, that’s too funny. We considering naming our first Exit…why do we only discuss baby names when we are in the car?

  8. Debra says:

    You already know that I love the name Ruby. 😉

    Did you ever watch ‘According To Jim’ ? Their youngest daughter was named Ruby.


  9. Brooke says:

    Last time we were name searching we tossed around Indy Anna. You know, like Indiana. hahahahahahaha

    I really liked it, but in the end decided to go with naming her after my mother who had just passed away.

    If I have another baby……who knows! hahahahahaha

  10. Picking baby names is tough. It seems like such a heavy responsibility to pick the perfect name. Although since kids always end up hating their name anyway, maybe we should just pick any old name from the beginning!

    We picked our oldest daughter’s name out when we were in college. By the time we finally had her, the name was in the top 10 in popularity! But we used it anyway because we thought of it first 😉

    I’m sure you guys will find the perfect name. And if not, there’s always Wanda for real life, too!

  11. EMAH says:

    Check this out:

    It gives you popularity for names for years. And you can check which names are trending up, so you know which one is going to be popular in the next few years.

    Also, you can look at the ridiculous names that people give their children 🙂

  12. Aunt Murry says:

    I have always like the name Amanda (my great grandmother name on my mother’s side) and Rose. Have you looked back in your family tree?

    I love that I am named after my grandmother’s twin sister although I hated it when I was a kid. There were always 3 or 4 of us growing up.

  13. Jennifer T says:

    I named my daughter Charlotte, after my great grandmother. Also because her whole name, Charlotte Elizabeth, means Warrior Princess. I thought Charlotte was so uncommon … but come to find out it was the #16 most popular name in 2008. Sigh. Well, I tried.

  14. I’m at BlogHer right now and one of the speaker’s names is Briar. I thought of you b/c it is unusual but pretty. Sorry for the second comment of the day, I have always been kind of obsessed with baby names.

  15. Amber says:

    My new favorite name is Adelle. Classic, beautiful, and you really never ever hear it. Harper is also a cute name. Good luck on your baby naming venture.

  16. Mari says:

    Movie Credits! That’s where we got our names! Keira (Nightly) and Night (shyamalan).

    It works.

  17. Heather says:

    We used the name Eliana for our daughter. Every time someone hears it they love it. I haven’t heard anyone else with that name where we are from, so i have been pretty happy with it so far 🙂 I also heard the name Adelaide the other day. I thought that was really pretty. Camille is nice too. Funny baby name story: I know someone with the last name Wood and they named their baby Holly. So, her name is Holly Wood. Poor child 🙂

  18. Marian says:

    Well, you’d be pretty unique with Mildred, Edna, Ethel, Bertha, Gertrude, Millicent (Millie?)… or perhaps those names need a little more “rest” before they come back to coolness again!

    I know a couple (Blaine and Lynn) who named their daughter Brynn… ?
    I know that name thing can just mock and torment you until you settle on something!

  19. Susie says:

    I’ve read you for a bit…love it. I’m delurking to share my daugher’s name with you. I also, have like uncommon names. She’s named after all of her Grandma’s and Great Grandma’s and myself, also 🙂 Her name is Jannah (like Hannah with a J). I believe that Jana is the original spelling, but we added the other letters to make it work.
    I’m excited to hear what name you come up with!!

  20. Proud Daughter of Eve says:

    You could call her “Toobie” for short. 😉

  21. Proud Daughter of Eve says:

    Viviane is one that I hadn’t thought of and am now sad our friends had thought of because now I can’t use it. But you live across the the continent and on the other side of the border from them, so you should be ok.

  22. Sarah says:

    Our son was named Zebulun Isaac Thaddeous (Z.I.T.) and our daughter was RudolphtherednosedreindeerFiona-honker while parasites. Imagine the disappointment when my 3 year old learns we did not name his sister RudolphtherednosedreindeerFiona-honker like he had been telling EVERYONE and their brother.

  23. Cindy says:

    When I was pregnant I I saw a sign that said Mezzanine Level. I thought that would make a cool name. (Or not, really.)

    Or Velveeta Vaseline.

  24. Stephanei says:

    Okay. I’ve been following your awesome, humorous blog for over a year and my husband and I are having an argument I think you can settle for us. He (said husband) does not believe that your son’s name is really Magoo. Crazy, I know, because that is the only way you EVER refer to him in your blog, but we must know. Thanks for sharing your fun self with the world!

  25. My second child was supposed to be a girl and we had a great name picked out. But a couple of weeks before she arrived, I had an ultrasound where it was determined that she was, in fact, a he. My husband was overseas, so we had to choose a name over the phone. We chose Aidan without much research. Turns out everyone named their boys Aidan that year. Sigh. Still love the name, though.

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