Carding a Fat Lady

Since I don’t drink and rarely do anything that requires me to be over the age of 16, I have very few opportunities to be required to show identification. It generally only happens if I’m pulled over for speeding or if I’m at the grocery store buying wine for cooking.

Well yesterday I bought some wine for a risotto I was planning to cook and for the first time in history they didn’t ask me for ID. Maybe it was because the cashier knew me. Possibly it had something to do with the fact that I was toting 2 children along with me and waddling, very obviously pregnant with a third. I choose to believe that I’m starting to look as distinguished as befits my 30 years of age, despite the fact that this pregnancy has me breaking out like a preteen after a chocolate binge.

Then later that night Dan and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie, mostly to enjoy the air conditioning while cuddling child-free. When I purchased the tickets, the boy at the counter asked to see my ID.

“What is this Harry Potter movie rated?” I asked incredulously.


And I’m thinking, “This kid really questions whether or not I’m over the age of 13? From the way I feel at this moment, the baby inside of me is practically 13.”

“And you’re carding me to get into the movie?”

He looked confused. He stared at me in a way that only a 15-year-old boy can when confronted with the prospect of carrying on a conversation of more than two words with an adult woman.

And then it hit me as he handed back my credit card. He was checking ID to make sure the card wasn’t stolen. “You need the ID for the credit card, huh?”

He nodded uncomfortably, looking sort of down and away.

So yeah, if you want to get into a PG-13 movie anytime soon, pay cash or have your ID close at hand.

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14 Responses to Carding a Fat Lady

  1. Carrie says:

    That’s funny 🙂

    Hope the movie was great- I’m still trying to figure out how to get to go see it- between the baby who nurses every 2 hours and my usual babysitter being in Australia, it’s not looking like it’s going to happen soon 🙁

    Are you feeling well? Hope you’re doing okay in this heat! Thinking about you.

    • Congrats on the new baby, by the way! I always managed to take my young babies and nurse them for 2 solid hours when there was a movie I really really wanted to see.

  2. grammyelin says:

    I get carded alot lately. I love my senior citizen discount, but have to prove I am old enough – which is kind of flattering, if you look at it the right way.

  3. angela says:

    Bonus! You know it is against the merchant agreement with visa/mastercard to ask for id if you sign the back of your card? I know that isn’t what you were talking about but, as long as you sign your card you don’t have to show a checker your id.

  4. Hilarious! You totally had me buying it. It sounds like the sort of brain cramp I would have when I was pregnant. I have the same kind now but no good excuses.

  5. kadusey says:

    I find it especially funny as I’m pretty certain the latest Harry Potter film is only PG.

  6. Janssen says:

    Ah, the boy lied to you! Harry Potter is only PG. Which if you’ve seen the movie you know is completely absurd. I went with a friend who has a five year old daughter (the daughter did not come) and during the whole cave/horcrux/inferi scene, we kept saying “Oh, yeah this wouldn’t scare her at ALL!”

  7. Amanda says:

    Oh wow, that is hilarious.

  8. Lynette says:

    When my husband and I were 28 and 25 respectively, we hadn’t been carded in years for alcohol but got carded for buying lotto in Florida, and the age for that was only 18.

    Hope you enjoyed both the AC and the cuddling!

    Oh, and about movie ratings – I never rely on them anymore to decide whether or not my kids should see the movie. My 9 year old was freaked out by the COMMERCIALS for Coraline.

  9. Meream says:

    So, it starts at 30, huh? I have 4 more years to go. People always think I’m underage.

  10. I got carded at an “R” rated movie the other day. I still (on rare occasion) get carded for wine or beer, but I have never, not even when I WAS 17, been carded for a movie. I’m 32, so it is just physically impossible to pass for 16. No way. Period. Worse, they also carded my 41 year old husband. And then even worse, after buying the tickets from the counter girl and handing them to the ticket taker dude, he carded us AGAIN, and mumbled something about it being a new theater policy.

    And I’m thinking, ‘Wow. This theater owner either thinks his employees are incredibly dumb’ (since they cannot tell the difference between a 16 year old and a 30+ year old) ‘or he thinks that the only way to get his employees to follow the rules is to make them check every. single. ID.’ (again, presuming that his employees must be incapable of using sound judgement)

    Either way, it just felt incredibly invasive to be carded twice for a movie with only an “R” rating, like they were trying to keep tabs on who is going to see this particular movie. Sigh.

    I keep trying to be flattered by it, but I’m just too realistic about my age to believe that I could be mistaken for 16!

  11. Keyona says:

    No, I’m sure he just thougth you looked so good there was no way you could be 13. No way. :o)

  12. Heather says:

    mwahahaha. That made me happy.

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