Lock Them Up Because You Love Them

On the way to the bus stop today, Magoo spotted some bedazzled slugs awaiting collection. He likes to call them snails but I know a slug when I see one. He gathered up two, one in each hand, one for himself and one to present as a gift to Laylee when she exited her yellow limo. As she climbed down the steps he held out his chubby little hands to her.
“OH! I wish I had one!” she gasped.

“IT’S FOR YOU! THIS ONE’S FOR YOU!” he said, handing over her prize.

She was speechless.

I informed them that I knew of a neighbor’s garden on the way home with tons of snails he’d be willing to part with. The harvest began. They decided they were snail farmers, taking their time to gather up every snail they could spot on the way home, comparing them with each other and lumping them into categories based on size, color, and character traits.
Laylee’s ended up in a little yellow bucket full of grass and rocks. While she went to search for more, I noticed her original babies were going AWOL.

“Laylee! Your slugs are crawling up the walls of the porch.”
Like a no-nonsense mom of 20, she marched over and gave them a good talking to as she peeled them off the walls, the chair and the sides of the bucket. She puffed out some air and looked at me while rolling her eyes heavenward. “I’ve got to find a way to keep them IN.”

She then turned the bucket over on top of them, piled rocks around the rim, stacked two chairs on top of it and topped those with rocks.
“If you see them trying to escape, tell them to GET. BACK. IN,” she requested.

I hope she remembers this discipline technique when she’s 15 and I decide to follow her parental example. I love you so much I need to lock you away forever and pile rocks on top of you. I’m sure that will go over really well.

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17 Responses to Lock Them Up Because You Love Them

  1. grammyelin says:

    OH, that is funny! .

    I hope that when they are 15 they also remember what it was to be satisfied with “free snails”, rather than needing every expensive toy on the market. Right now they are the richest kids in the world. They have the treasures of the earth and a mother who will give them the time and support to harvest them. Despite the slime, I’m sure it is worth it. This is the stuff that happy childhoods are made of.

  2. Keyona says:

    Man she means business! Too cute…gross but cute! :o)

  3. fugaler says:

    i think if she hadn’t added the rocks on top, they would have surely gotten out

  4. She’s a great snail/slug Mama! Is there really a difference between snails and slugs?! They both look equally icky to me….

  5. bananas says:

    the title of this post could be a country music song. I can almost hear it…

  6. Carrie says:

    Your kids are hysterical! And you’re a great mom to let them collect snails/slugs. I’d have trouble with that one- not a fan of any type of crawlies. 🙂

  7. Meream says:

    Funny and ingenious! Laylee sure is hysterical.

  8. kirida says:

    That cage is really fortified with those rocks. Also, slugs totally listen to me when I tell them to get out of my garden and out of my life.

  9. Heather says:

    When did Magoo out-grow his oh-so-kissable baby face?!
    How sad…

    Love that Laylee! What spunk!

  10. Paige says:

    So sweet! And I’m sure the neighbors’ didn’t mind if they harvested a few from their flowers, now did they?

  11. Merrilee says:

    Laylee is a champ 🙂 I hope she keeps her love of creepy crawlies for the rest of her life!

  12. Proud Daughter of Eve says:

    Magoo’s a champ, thinking of his sister and sharing his bounty with her. That was the cutest!

  13. Sue Gir says:

    Hmmm that’s so lovely. And kudos to that handsome little man who waits with handful of gifts for his sister.

  14. Awesome Mom says:

    I once had a slug collection but in the end I salted it and made a nasty mess of the jar I used to collect them.

  15. Dan says:

    Laylee has a promising career in penitentiary design ahead of her.

  16. Nicole says:

    I lurk here a lot, especially as of late. Between a death in the family requiring an out of state trip and the death of my laptop I have been keeping up on my blog reading via my phone, where it’s excruciatingly slow to load the whole page in order to comment. anyway, the point is I wanted to tell you that even though I’m not a frequent commenter I’m always here, reading, and laughing. Keep writing!

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