Today I was a Mom — Part Two

A while ago I wrote a post called Today I Was a Mom. The title of the post was meant to imply that although I rarely get my job perfectly right, there are those precious few days when I can hold my head high and say, “Yay. I did it. Today I was a MOM!”

A lot of people enjoyed or identified with the post. Several others said it made them feel inadequate, that if that’s what it takes to be a mom everyday, then they were failures. One man repeatedly emailed me about the post, calling me smug and telling me that I lived a charmed life with no real problems and should shut my stupid mouth. It was sweet.

Today I’d like to share a different kind of mom day. Here is my report:

I woke up late and wandered downstairs to find Magoo watching cartoons.

I pulled Laylee reluctantly from bed and fed them sugar cereal and leftovers from last night’s dinner for breakfast, while I got dressed.

She asked if she could wear a dress to school and I agreed that yes she could… another day… if I ever did laundry again.

I dropped Laylee off 2 minutes late for school but was grateful that she made it in before they shut the main doors so she wouldn’t have to go to the office for a late slip.

After unloading Magoo at preschool where he cried because he didn’t want to attend without his baseball cap, which I could not find, I drove to the mall in search of new makeup.

I could write a whole post about how much Sephora intimidates me but I went inside anyway to have an expert help me pick out facial supplies to help cover or at least blur my pregnancy breakout. The woman who was helping me did a great job selling me on the Bare Minerals and applying them to my face and then added the finishing touch of orange blush over my entire face.

I bought the makeup and left the store looking like a pumpkin, sure that I could do a better job applying it than she had and picked up Magoo from his class.

We had 20 minutes until I needed to walk the 2 blocks to pick Laylee up from the bus stop so instead of going home and walking back up the street, I parked at the bus stop with the squirming Magoo and waited it out. Who needs unnecessary movement in her life or the life of her previously active 3-year-old? Not me apparently.

I purchased a smoothie at the mall but didn’t notice that when I placed it in the drink holder, I punched a tiny hole in the bottom of the cup with the straw. The contents of the cup leaked out all over the carpeting of my car which now smells like vomit but strangely not because I vomited in it this time.

I only let my kids play outside for 10 minutes this afternoon because the cold weather makes me nauseous and I didn’t want them to play unsupervised.

I then yelled at my kids for jumping around inside the house because it “makes the ground shake” which aggravates my nausea.

I used the word “nauseous” in it’s various forms around 300 more times.

Then I let them watch full episodes of Electric Company on for 3 hours to keep them entertained while I laid on the couch with a pillow over my head to suppress my dehydration headache.

On the way out the door to my PTA meeting, I decided to take a quick potty break, afraid of using the teeny toilets at the elementary school. Sadly I didn’t notice the giant puddle Magoo had left for me on the toilet seat until after I sat down and dipped my shirt into it.

I madly dug through the mountain of clean but unfolded laundry on the couch where I’ve been getting all my clothes for the last week and found a shirt long enough to cover up the fact that I’m wearing my pants unzipped these days.

Although I called and begged repeatedly for the kids to get their coats and shoes on, it did not happen. Lately they have this attitude that seems to say, “What are you gonna do? Get off the couch and make me? Stop barfing and make me?” And they’re right, I’m not.

When we all got into the car, I noticed that the garage door was still open from their microscopic outdoor play time. But I couldn’t just close it. Oh no. The kids had strategically placed outdoor toys all along the line of where the door is supposed to hit when it goes down.

I cleaned up the toys with clenched teeth and growled back at the van and its passengers. Then I noticed the broken mega jumbo bottle of bubble solution spilled all over the floor of the garage.

I wasn’t nice.

When we got to the meeting, Dan was already there to pick the kids up so they didn’t get to go in and play with the babysitter. They cried. They yelled. I exited the car.

I showed no sympathy.

I got home while Dan was bathing the kids and told him I needed to go lie down, leaving him to do bedtime alone. I blew the kids kisses and headed downstairs to turn into a vegetable in front of the TV.

I felt sick. I felt guilty. I’ll do better tomorrow.

This entry was posted in all about me, aspirations, preg-nancy, save me from myself. Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Today I was a Mom — Part Two

  1. FarmWife says:

    I have many days like this & I’m not perpetually dehydrated or puking up my spleen. If I felt as bad as you I’d feel like I’d climbed Everest if my kids were fed something frozen three times a day & bathed twice a week.

    Growing people is hard work. Here’s hoping it gets less pukey soon!

  2. Keyona says:

    They know you love them. They will try your patience. You’re a good mom. I repeat. You’re a good mom.

  3. The Wiz says:

    Ah, emailing you to tell you how stupid and smug you are. What a sweet guy. I wish there were more people like him in the world.

  4. Oh, man, can I relate…and I don’t have the good excuses you do. Don’t days like that stink? That’s why you were so right to enjoy the day when it all came together. Also I’m impressed that you could even THINK about PTA on a day like this!

  5. allysha says:

    My dear,
    Do not feel guilty. Everyone has their days. And you are sick and pregnant. I think the fact that you went to the PTA meeting is amazing. I would have said no way! {but then again, I say no to the PTA all the time, regardless of neither sickness or pregnancy, etc. normal life is enough to may me say no}

    • It was the first time all year I had something specific that I needed to present to the group and I was the only one who could do it. Once I’ve said yes, it’s so hard for me to switch and say no.

  6. Stephanie says:

    Oh, we all have days like this–it’s what happens when your job is 24/7 with no breaks–eventually you just have to have a break and so it’s a “bad-mom day” break.
    Good luck with the sickness. I am gearing myself up for getting pregnant again, and I can’t say I’m excited to revisit those days.

  7. April says:

    How about, “I felt sick. I felt pregnant. And that’s just the way it is. It will get better.”

    I don’t think there’s any use in feeling guilty when we are truly not ourselves. Pregnancy hormones play a huge role in our behavior towards everyone around us when we are pregnant. There’s nothing that can be done about that. We just have to have faith that the hormones will level out and we will be ourslelves again…someday.

  8. I think that BOTH of your “Today I was a mom” posts are inspiring because they both reflect the true face of motherhood. It is a smattering of both kinds of days. The good ones are what make us survive the bad ones. The bad ones probably outnumber the good ones, but the good ones overpower the bad ones. And good moms, like you, love their kids on either one and constantly want to do and be better. So good for you! And thanks for being normal and extraordinary at the same time.

  9. Lisa says:

    Some days are just like that… those kind of days just make the the good day 5 billion times better.

    I hope tomorrow it better. And even if it’s not your kids are lucky to have you because you’re doing your best.

  10. Beth says:

    Ah, sweet friend. Don’t let some jerk make you feel like your post wasn’t good. No one things anyone is perfect and I think you are doing a great job under the circumstances. You are a good Mommy and your kids aren’t going to remember how grouchy you were during your pregnancy. They are going to remember what a wonderful person you are and how you did your very best! No parent is perfect and those who criticize you are just realizing what losers they are. I love you dearly!!

  11. mamadeb says:

    I remember part 1 and thinking how wonderful it was to get a day like that. They are so often few and far between. Part 2 seems to happen more often. It’s life. We do the best we can and move on to a new day. I wouldn’t give the time of day to anyone who can’t just be happy that someone out there had a good parenting day. And for those days when we feel we don’t measure up…’s empathy coming your way. Been there. Will be there for sure again.

  12. Kerrie says:

    I had a kind of a yucky day, too. Not as bad as you, though (sorry), and I’m also sure there were other moms out their today feeling guiltier and ickier than you do.

    Hey, maybe this will cheer you up: I’m pretty stinky — I haven’t had a shower in more than two days because yesterday I was home all day with the baby and simply didn’t feel like it, and today, I woke up late and had 10 minutes to make the 25-minute drive to work, leaving my husband to wash my son’s baby bottles and pack his bag for day care. I showed myself to my coworkers with greasy hair and no Bare Escentuals. I can’t sit still in my work chair because my sciatica (which reappeared recently) is causing extreme pain in my behind, and I’m worried people are going to start thinking I have a bad case of hemorrhoids. Then, I dropped my breakfast cookie on the office floor. I was so hungry I decided whatever mystery disease I might get from it was worth it and I ate the oatmeal cardboard anyway. Right now, you are thinking: Hey, at least you can eat. Am I right?

    Tomorrow’s a new day.

  13. Today you were a mom. A sick and pregnant mom, but a mom none the less. Some days it’s just about survival. It helps us to appreciate the other days more.

  14. Although this was no doubt, not your intention, this post actually made me feel better. A lot of posts on parenting blogs make me feel inadequate and sometimes even evil. But this post made me realise that others too have these days (although you’ve got a good excuse).

    Hope things get better in the nausea department.

    • I’m glad it made you feel better. It was a bit of my intention. Reading posts like this on other blogs is always strangely comforting. They make me feel less alone.

  15. Awesome Mom says:

    Being pregnant while being a mom is a whole different ball game. I have let my kids watch soo much TV during this pregnancy that I feel bad but I am just sooo tired. TV keeps them quiet while I nap downstairs with them. Hang in there!

  16. grammyelin says:

    I remember the 6 months I spent flat on my back trying to keep you. I felt so guilty and like I could almost watch the dust accumulating on every non-moving surface. But when I complained to your Dad about my inability to do all the things I’d normally done, his reply was one I’ve kept in my heart ever since. “Honey, if you don’t do anything but lay on the couch and let the cells divide, you are still doing the Lord’s work. It’s the most important thing you could ever do.” And I got you out of it, so it was definitely worth it.

    Hang in there. This too shall pass!

  17. sarah k. says:

    Sweetie, as my mom would say, you need to get rid of that guilt right now. You’re running a marathon every day, your body is doing work that you don’t have to think about, so it seems like you’re not doing much but you are. There’s no guilt for that. Sometimes you don’t have much energy, and that’s just fine. Sometimes you’re grouchy (or worse…) but you forgive yourself and get on with life. I don’t need to tell you how awesome I think you are, or how I spent 9 months on the couch while my firstborn memorized Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I just want you to quit comparing yourself to anyone who isn’t pregnant, has more energy than you, isn’t throwing up every day, or isn’t you. Do what you can, and when you can’t, go watch some TV. I suggest Buffy.

  18. Becky says:

    It seems that you don’t let the negative peanut gallery get to you & I’m glad for that! Your posts are so relatable and I really enjoy reading them – thank you!

  19. mother of the wild boys says:

    Ignore the haters…you rocketh!

  20. BTW, I gave you an award over at my public blog…check it out! 🙂

  21. Cynthia says:

    You are going to magically turn a corner soon. I know it. And then you can enjoy more copious amounts of emails proclaiming your smugness from men.

  22. Well, I still like you.

  23. Debra says:

    Kathryn –

    You are my BBF (BestBlogFriend)
    the comments that #*@*$*#) fool made
    make me want to beat him up;
    but my mamma raised me right so I won’t.

    And speaking of “mommas raising kids right”? That would be you.

    Love You Girl + Don’t Let The #^$&#(@ Fools Pee On Your Parade Okay?

  24. Pam in Utah says:

    What in tarnation is a fellow spending time putting someone down for doing something right? He’s obviously having some hard times himself, so empathy out to you, dearest man who is cross and has time to complain to the internet. 🙂 I hope you’re having a much better day today, and making really good choices and being happy with doing the best you can with what’s going on with you and yours today, whether it’s easy or not. And I hope you can forgive yourself for whatever you couldn’t do and keep on trying to get better and better in every way, in every new day. 🙂 There IS hope. Hugs to the man. 🙂

  25. Emily says:

    I’m sorry about the man that emailed you criticizing your good days. We all have both good and bad, and I can’t believe he felt it necessary to rain on your good day. Sorry

  26. Diana says:

    And Kathryn that’s one of the reasons we love you so much, you are a NORMAL, wonderful mother!
    P.S. I hope today is better.

  27. Heather says:

    Amen to your other commenters. Just reading that gave me strenght. I have to add emphasis to my favorite comments.

    “Thanks for being normal and extraordinary at the same time!”

    And what your mom said, quoting your dad, actually brought real tears to my eyes and down my cheeks. “Honey, if you don’t do anything but lay on the couch and let the cells divide, you are still doing the Lord’s work. It’s the most important thing you could ever do.” Wow, you have some wonderful parents. No wonder you turned out so fantastic.

    “Doing better tomorrow” does not mean that every day has to be better than the last to be considered progress. Mortality is not meant to be like that. We rise and we fall and we pick ourselves back up again, and take just another step forward, and start all over again. But we learn as we go. We learn from the times we fell, and learn what it took to rise to our best selves. And even when we fall again, we never fall back to the same place we once were. We take our knowledge and our experience with us. And we get to choose what we do with that knowledge and experience. It is obvious that you choose to let it refine you, shape and mold you into who you most want to be. What our loving Heavenly Father knows you can be. A few words that sum up what I am trying to say, I know you will recognize from your role as teacher to the young women in your church. Choice and Accountability. Divine Nature. Faith. Good Works. Knowlegde. Integrity. Virtue.
    7 values that focus us on what matters, so we don’t have to look to how the world judges us. You are not failing. You are learning, trying, riding the ups and downs of life. Sometimes the roller coaster is a blast. Sometimes it makes you puke. Sometimes it is both at the same time.

    To take a line from one of my favorite songs by the LDS musical group called Afterglow, song entitled “Just believe Him”, “Take heart, and fear no more, His promises are sure.”

  28. This post was perfect. Unlike any mother on the planet.

    I’ll remember this next time my list of cruddy events starts stacking up against me, threatening to make me hide in the bookstore, ahem, bar, ahem, laundry room.

    If you can be Daring while sick-o, then maybe I can be Daring while completely healthy! There’s hope for me yet.

    • I have to cling to the idea that there’s hope for us all. Because I’ve had many days like this when I had no pregnancy excuse to hide behind. We’re all working on it.

  29. Momofmonkeys says:

    I’m Cheri’s sister (from Jack & Jill of *Many* Trades) and I’ve been stalking your site in slience for about 8 months. but I can be silent no more – I LOVE your posts!!! They make me laugh out loud!! This one especially as it made me think that with this pregnancy you might possibly relate to Bella (Twilight anyone?) the puking . . . unconscious on a couch . . baby sucking the life out of you . . He He He

    Hoping you’ll feel better soon!

    hugs – Stacy Ãœ

    • Thanks for delurking Stacy. I LOVE your sister so I’m glad to hear you’re reading and like what I write.

      And about the Bella comment…. this could not possibly be inspired by the recent release of a certain movie, could it? Not that I follow those things or already have my copy or anything.

  30. Sabrina says:

    So, I’ve never commented on here before, not even sure if you’ll read this since it’s to an older post. But, I wanted to let you know that despite the trying day you had on wednesday, I never would have known it at the meeting. You looked like you completely had your act together, and were happy as a lark. In addition–and this is no lie–I noticed how nice you looked that night, and that your makeup looked really good. Was it the Bare Minerals? I swear by that stuff. It is all I use. Just wanted to let you know you’re doing great.

    • Oh I get email notifications of all my comments so I get them on posts from 3 years ago sometimes and I always read them. Thanks Sabrina. I certainly did cake on the Bare Minerals that night. I’m glad to know they’re working. I’m also a bit sick of listening to myself whine so I try to keep it peppy out in public.

      You may have noticed that my tank top did not remotely match my v-neck shirt. This was due to the quick change Magoo forced me to do. Ah well. It was a rough day but it’s over. I do think I need to find someone to detail the car though. That smoothie is not going ANYWHERE.

  31. Kami says:

    First of all, I cannot believe the nerve of some people to whine about what you wrote in your first post, I was a Mom Today. It’s YOUR blog and you have every right to celebrate your successes on it. I loved the first post. I hope you told them all to go take a flying leap. 🙂

  32. Carrie says:

    Awww…we all have days like this – I know I do- at least once a month! 🙂

    And, if you can’t be proud of yourself for your good days on your blog, but only be self-deprecating without people getting angry & offended & feeling inadequate, well, that’s pretty ridiculous. We all have good days and bad days, and we should all feel free to share about BOTH of them!

  33. michal says:

    i loved your last “today i was a mom” post and wish that people could take it for what it was– a happy, good day in a job that is often difficult, tear-inducing, and thankless. we all have good and bad days and i appreciate your willingness to share both with us. but please don’t let some people’s negativity stop you from sharing what is best about motherhood. we all need to remember that those practically perfect days do come along once in a while and that what we are doing is so worth it.

  34. Eve says:

    I’m de-lurking to say that I saved this post because I knew I had to read it word for word because I knew it was in conjunction with the other one I loved so much and I request that you please post some of those mean e-mails because they would be fun to trash and maybe give us the guy’s e-mail so we can make nasty comments. I’m sorry but I’m bored because my friend is pregnant and always sleeping and I never get to hang out with her anymore but I’m not mad because that’s what I did my whole pregnancy that was exactly 9 months ago but I’m just saying I’m in need some good controversial entertainment.

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