Daring Young Mom’s Fertility Guide

1. Buy a new belt.
2. Join Weight Watchers.
3. Buy the most expensive theater tickets you’ve ever purchased in your life for a show that’s coming to town in nine months.

Do all these things and you’ll have a positive pregnancy test in less than 2 weeks. I guarantee it.

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110 Responses to Daring Young Mom’s Fertility Guide

  1. Aubrey says:

    so ummm does this mean you will be getting the crib set up and painting baby colors on walls soon?

  2. Heffalump says:

    WAHOOOO!
    Maybe you should have a fabulous blog giveaway for those tickets! (Just kidding of course)
    Congratulations!

    • You want great seats to Wicked at the Paramount?

      I’m seriously going to threaten my doctor if he lets the baby fall out before I get in to see that show.

      P.S. Luckily we got aisle seats.

  3. Kim says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!

  4. allysha says:

    Oh, KATHRYN!!!!!!!!
    That is awesome.

  5. Angela says:

    Hey that is freaking fantastic! You are totally right though. Those three things are the key to fertility.

  6. cyndi says:

    yippee! hope the sickies leave you soonest!

  7. Melessa says:

    YAY and CONGRATULATIONS! I’ve found paying a deposit for a trip to Italy, starting graduate school, or re-entering the workforce because all your kids are in school full-time are equally effective. I just finished the heinous sickness of death-it was every bit as icky as I remembered it being the previous four times. I hope yours passes quickly!

  8. Tay says:

    How exciting! I hope the sickness goes quickly! You’re lucky it leaves – mine never did until the last month… bleh. I hope postpartum goes better, too. 🙂 Babies are so fun!

  9. Azúcar says:

    The only other thing you could have done is purchased a Costco sized supply of a pain medication you are not allowed to use while pregnant (and an accompanying extra large box of feminine supplies.)

    Hooray!! What marvelous news.

    Now, how are we going to break it to the nice pop-control couple at the store?

  10. The Wiz says:

    I knew it!! Not that I know you or anything, but I still knew it. Congrats. Three is awesomeness.

  11. Great fertility guide…and congratulations!

  12. Karen says:

    Kathryn! That’s wonderful news!!! Congratulations!

  13. Carrie says:

    Congrats!

    I wonder if people will continue to comment on how pregnant you look, now that you actually are pregnant? 🙂

    So, when is the bundle of joy due? Are you going to find out the gender. Have you picked a name? (I’m trying to remember all the annoying questions I’ve been fielding for the past few months…)

    And we need to have another Seattle Mom get-together soon! It’s been too long since I saw you guys! We need to compare pregnant bellies!

  14. oh man! Congratulations!!! What do Magoo and Laylee think?

  15. Janssen says:

    Hooray! Congratulations to your whole family!

  16. maggie says:

    Congratulations! SO EXCITING!

  17. mhuff says:

    Wow! Congratulations! I am now searching for expensive tickets as per your guide…

  18. Sue says:

    Congratulations! The other sure-fire method is to give away every single baby item you have. Once your house is baby free and the vasectomy is scheduled, the fertility gods will pour out their blessings upon you. Worked for me.

    When are you due? (I’m due in August. YIPPEE.) (That’s me – trying to work my way into being excited. ;>)

  19. Hillary says:

    *squeel!* Congratulations!

  20. bananas says:

    ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING?????????

  21. Allison says:

    Congratulations!!! Three is a magic number 🙂

  22. carriem says:

    I know another couple ways: Give away your crib (worked for my friend), start a large quilt for your daughter’s 4th birthday in 2 months (which she just got for her 5th birthday). Anyway, congrats, The terrible sickness of death should make the Weight Watchers seem unnecessary for a while.

  23. LisAway says:

    Congratulations! Happy happy news!

  24. Congratulations! May the sickness beat a hasty retreat and your belt look lovely for at least the first trimester.

    🙂

    • You know it looked good for about the first 5 minutes but the extra weight I was trying to lose on WW, combined with my dust-mite sized baby made me pop out WAY too soon. I’m holding on to it for 6 months from now though.

  25. Mir says:

    But but but I did all of those things and I am still not pregnant.

    Oh, wait. Does this plan require a uterus…?

    (Congratulations, again, Kathryn. Hope you’re feeling less queasy very soon!)

  26. Jana says:

    Congrats! I joined WW too, and then got pregnant. They give you your money back, btw.

  27. Faith says:

    Our key to fertility is to tell everyone we’re NOT trying to get pregnant, and then have marital relations during fall-time. Works every time, and we wouldn’t have it any other way! Those kinds of surprises are the BEST! Congratulations!

    • Timing is important. We’d been trying for a while and then got snowed in and flooded in. Things happen.

      • Amanda says:

        Hahaha.

        My first happened when we lost power for 4 days with a hurricane… and number 2 (although we were trying…) when we found out our Alma Mater’s Football game was on PPV and we weren’t shelling out the 40 bucks… Passed the time rather well…

  28. Megan says:

    If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, then congratulations lady. I’m glad one more child in this world will be parented by you.

  29. Congratulations!!!! Hope the sickness ends soon! Note to self: Stay away from WW and the theatre 🙂

  30. divrchk says:

    Congratulations!

  31. Aunt Murry says:

    Congratulations. I have been a long time reader and first time commenter.

    I am so tickled for you.

  32. sarah k. says:

    WooooHoooooo! Three is definitely the magic number… of INSANE! You’ll love it. Little people are so awesome. Especially 2 year olds, said without irony.

  33. FawnDear says:

    Thanks for the warning. I just bought a new belt and joined WW.
    There’s no way on earth I’m ordering those tickets.

  34. Congratulations! With our fourth child, I took THREE pregnancy tests, I just couldn’t believe it. My husband had just been laid off, we were getting ready to move to another state, and I had just hurt myself pretty badly and was a temporary gimp. Nearly 8 years later, I’m so happy that His timing was different than My timing. 🙂 I’m sure everyone there is SO excited!

  35. Well good job! Hope you get feeling better quickly!

  36. Kerrie says:

    Congratulations! You are right, though. I was 10 pounds away from my goal weight when I found out I was pregnant. 🙂

    • Oh, I’ve lost more than that on this diet plan. Early pregnancy does not agree with me very well. I’ve probably done better with my pregnancy bulimia than I would have on WW.

  37. Amanda - The Mom Job says:

    I just love funny pregnancy announcements.

    I’ve been wearing white underwear and carrying no feminine products for 4 days hoping to jinx my period into coming. Maybe I should just break down and POS.

    CONGRATS!

  38. Emilee says:

    CONGRATS! Glad to see you found yourself some sperm 😉

  39. Margaret says:

    WAHOOOOOOO!!! That is SO EXCITING!! Congratulations!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  40. cheryl says:

    Congratulations!!

  41. Pam in Utah says:

    Congratulations to you and all your family! We -Are -So -Excited!

  42. YAY! Congratulations to you and your family.

  43. Heidi says:

    YAYYYYYYYY!

  44. Brooke says:

    YEAH!! :o)

  45. Keyona says:

    Ahhhh!! Congrats! How do you feel about it? I hope you are excited. You are such a great mom and the kids are going to be so happy.

  46. FawnDear says:

    On second thought – I’ll ditch the belt. That way I can buy the tickets. Just think, with me around it will be enough to bring on the labor (after the show is over, of course) The show and a baby all in one night. Sounds fun.

  47. Jordan says:

    Congratulations! How exciting!

  48. I must admit, I have been wondering. Congratulations to you! Or should I wait until the sickies are gone to congratulate?! ;o)

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