***And the PeaceLoveMom shirt goes to Michelle, commenter number 29 (with double commenters removed). Don’t forget to use your free shipping code everyone else if you order from them before December 17th. The code is DYMGIVES.***
Sometime this month I will become old. Older than I’m comfortable with. I really didn’t think turning 30 would be any big thing. Most of my friends are over 30. Dan turned thirty MONTHS ago and I still find myself liking him a great deal. But for some reason as my birthday month crested, I became awash with apprehension about leaving my twenties.
Just last weekend I found myself trying to convince one of my kids’ babysitters that I wasn’t much older than she was. Sad. I am that much older than she is. Text messaging, although useful and fun, is not the fountain of eternal youth.
I didn’t write up one of those “Thirty Things To Do Before Thirty” lists because I figure I’ve already done way more than thirty things in my lifetime so I’ve got it covered.
What I would like is some advice or words of wisdom from Ye of Teh Interweb, young and old, to help me get over this silly fear of the number three and the number zero put together in a certain order when applied to my particular agedness.
What do old people wear?
How should I start fixing my hair? Should I start fixing my hair?
What stores do old people frequent?
How do I get rid of the grey? Should I even bother to get rid of the grey?
When will the wrinkles overtake the adult acne in the battle for my face?
Knee highs?
How should I best console myself on that day of days?
Any advice you have will be helpful. As an incentive to get you commenting and helping me out of a pathetic, non-fly, non-Oprah-approved 30s decade (Didn’t she say 30 was the new 15 or something like that?), I’m giving away a cool shirt from PeaceLoveMom.
I love their stuff and although it definitely could be worn by a woman of my… ahem… maturity, I think I could also wear it and blend in well with the young people. If you haven’t seen their stuff, go check it out. They sent me this awesome thermal to try out for Thanksgiving and they’ll give one of you a free t-shirt just for leaving a comment here. After I choose a winner, they’ll contact you with a few choices from their site in your size and they have all sizes.
Their shirts are soft, long, cute and well made. You’ll love them. I see they’ve also come out with a cute line of stationary. If you want to order something, you can use the coupon code DYMGIVES through December 17th for free shipping within the US.
I’ll pick a winner Thursday night so spill your guts. What do I do now that I’m OLD?
You’re just supposed to giggle a little now and again to show that you’re not THAT mature.
And you don’t have to chop off all your hair and perm it until you turn thirty-five.
Only now and then with the giggling? Oooo. I’ll have to work on that.
When you’re old like that there is only one solution to all of your problems: a nap. Unfortunately you have to wait until your kids are that old too so that you actually have a chance to take one. Good luck with that. 🙂
If you’re old I’m ancient. Thirty was hard but 35 (this year) was harder. Don’t change anything unless it’s for YOU.
Whatever you do – stay far, far away from the mom jeans!
I can’t help you – I won’t be 30 until next May, so I need all the advice I can get, too!!! I would say – there’s nothing worse than someone who is trying to look way younger than what they are. But there is nothing wrong with having a young attitude! Having two little kids will sure keep your attitude young! 🙂
I actually didn’t mind turning 30 (July! ) and it feels just like 28 : ). It’s when I think about how close that puts me to 40 that gets me feeling a little light headed. Also, I remember my mom in her 30’s. Wah? Does that mean I really am getting old?
Advice? Hmmm… I could use some hair advice – and make up while we’re at it! – too. Seems like I should have learned how to do those things long ago.
Happy Birthday soon! Have a big party!
My mom always said that women of a “certain age” should wear makeup daily and not have long hair. I think 30 is pretty close to that age 🙂 But, on the plus side, now that you’re 30, you have age and wisdom on your side. Feel free to butt in when others younger than you try to parent, make decisions, etc. No one will mind because now you’re 30.
Yes, yes… That certain age. I love that expression.
I say act the age you feel. If that’s 10 one day, 6 the next, and 30 the following that’s fine.
Age doesn’t have to be something that we fear. Just think about if you’d really want to be 14 again…
I don’t know why you feel old. I certainly don’t feel old. Except when I get sciatica. Or when my back hurts and I can’t stand up straight. Or when my hands are arthritic. Those times, I feel a little old. But when I think about my age objectively, I actually feel very young. Young enough to go back to school for a graduate degree, to have more kids if I wanted to (which I heretofore elect to NOT), to wear short skirts and a faux-hawk, and to say “Dude!” to my 6 year old’s friends.
I just realized that saying “Dude” to my 6 year old’s friends may be akin to our parents saying “Groovy!” to our friends.
Yes. It is totally the same. However I am unmoved in my desire to continue using these very dating and uncool phrases. It gives me great parental joy as I’m sure it did our parents.
I am all ears. My big 3-0 is coming in March, although the hubby turned 30 in October and it has been fine so far. Somehow, even though I have three kids, I still feel exactly the same as I did in high school. With a few extra pounds. And stiffer knees.
What to do is to hang out with people even older than you are and you can always make fun of how old THEY are. I remember when my grandmother was in her 80’s and I was looking at some pictures with her from when she was young and she talked about how she felt just the same inside as she did when she was young and it surprised her how her outsides look because she didn’t feel that old. If you keep your mind and body active, you’ll stay young in the ways that are important. I turned 50 last month, but I don’t think I’d want to go back to being 30. Grandkids are lots more fun than kids.
Well, you aren’t old. Let me tell you how I felt about 30.
I was so glad to be here. You see, I was almost taken out by that pesky childbirth gone wrong thing and I was 29. I felt it such a gift that I was able to continue on and hubs and I were able to adopt a baby that 30 was good. 30 was great.
No, you don’t have to wear your hair different.
No, you don’t have to start wearing mom jeans, unless you want to.
No, you aren’t qualified for a senior discount.
Yes, you do have some life experience. Not tons, but enough to get you by so that you look like you know what you are doing. This aging thing makes up seem a little more grown up and a lot less spazy. I speak from the age of 35. You see, I made it here and I’m good.
Yes, you are still allowed to go out and do goofy stuff. I do all the time with or without a child in tow. People just write it off as I’m an artist and I’m supposed to be that way. It’s okay with me.
But, I have to tell you that the day that you turn 30, your metabolism stops. dead. in. its. tracks. But you can bust a groat (sp?!), so I’m not worried about you.
That was truly the only drawback I saw of the 30 thing.
You’ll make it. I promise! Happy birthday, soon!
Thanks!
I’m not only 30, I’m 33!! I feel my bones popping and creaking in the morning and I’m certain that one morning I am going to wake up and have nothing but grey hair. But I still feel like me. I don’t feel much different than when I was 18 – except I was oh so much skinnier then.
Good luck.
I turn 34 this week and I don’t feel old. I am a firm believer and always have been in dressing how you want and in what makes you feel good. I am not one to do all that much to my hair. My hair just doesn’t cooperate into a style. I don’t think I will color it, but then again I am blonde and grays don’t really show. Some little wrinkles have come, but they are the kind that show when you smile and laugh and I’m not going to stop doing either of those things. As I get older my son does too and it is so wonderful to see him grow and maybe I will have another child…there is plenty of time. So, I really don’t mind where I am at and where I am going. As a child I thought 30 sounded old, then my parents were 30 and didn’t seem old. The same happened to 40 and 50 and now my Mom is 62 and do you know what she is a pretty hip 62 year old, so I don’t fear growing old one bit.
Have a great birthday and enjoy 30!
Cute Shirt!
Ok now the age thing…..no clue what to tell you. I just turned 27 and I am still in denial. I just might have a spaz attack when I turn 30.
Maybe you could just stop celebrating your birthdays and remain 29 forever…..maybe not.
Good luck with that. ;o)
I’ll tell you what. I’m 35 now and feeling old. But we’ve made friends with several young families in our ward (I mean, their kids aren’t even school age, and I’ve got a HIGH-SCHOOLER!), and it’s made me feel so much better about my age when I can talk to them about what they have to look forward to. All positive, of course. I’m not giving any “granny in her rocker” kinds of unsolicited advice yet, but it does feel nice to have experienced encouragement to give. And that really only comes with age!
I turn 30 in Feb and I can’t wait.
Cannot wait.
I’m tired of people saying “Wow! You must have had all your kids when you were so young!” and “You’re so young to have so many kids!”
I only have four, people.
And I was a college graduate when I had my first one.
See, when I’m 30 years old, people expect you to have children of some number –or at least they aren’t SURPRISED. This why I’m excited to be 30 and finally taken seriously! Yes!
For you? I would say you’re just supposed to be…you at 30. It’s not any different than you at 29 –now you’ll just be taken more seriously. Yes!
On my 30th birthday, my back gave out. Like I was standing one minute and then I was laying on the floor in agony the next. I thought for sure that my whole body was pooping out on me. But, I got over it and I have loved my 30s even more than my 20s.
Maybe I’m sadistic but this totally made me laugh. You’re thirty and your bones say, “We’re done.”
I agree with many of the wise women who have commented….
Be YOU!
Act the age you feel!
And just say NO to Mom jeans!
and I have a goal (I am 32) to never let my hair stay the same for more than a year! Keep it fresh
I think loving Twilight will keep you young eternally 🙂
How long have you been 29?
A while.
I think wearing those tops should do the trick. So cute!
I am 30 now and I am old.Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Cute shirts.I am old and I want a free shirt!!!
For me, 30 is 8 months away, and I’m 38 weeks pregnant, so I don’t know about feeling OLD so much as feeling topsy-turvy all over for the next year 🙂
What do old people wear? — I expect I may still be wearing comfy maternity jeans 😛
How should I start fixing my hair? Should I start fixing my hair? — Too much effort!
What stores do old people frequent? — The grocery store and farmer’s market, and the public library, and if Dressing Up Properly is required, Talbot’s (hoping to hit a sale) (I am not kidding, this is both me at 30 and my grandmother at 60 I am thinking of) Everything else I wear comes from LL Bean and Target and is already “mom clothes”. (What are mom jeans?)
Knee highs? — With pants? Of course!
How should I best console myself on that day of days? — Breakfast in bed, a long massage, and margaritas at dinnertime!
As for the hair, don’t color it. It’s a hassle, it’s expensive, and you will eventually have to grow it out and go through the two-tone root thing. Highlight it if you must to help the gray blend, but it’s not so much a stigma anymore to just embrace the gray. At least I hope so because at 34, my hair is very gray!!
I love those shirts!
I turned thirty last month and my father says that it is only after thirty and before fifty that anyone is really responsible. Before 30 we are all too wild and crazy and after 50 our children have made us senile. You are at the beginning of your twenty good years.
However considering that my four month old doesn’t yet know that nights are for sleeping I don’t know how responsible thirty is turning out to be.
Also if you are feeling “mature” you need to sit around and talk about how the world is going to pot and now things were much better when you were young.
I agree with these:
Say no to coloring your hair. Embrace the grey! 😉
Say no to mom jeans. (And by that do we mean the super high waist and the just-too-short length and the tapered ankles? because that’s what _I_ mean by that.)
Be you. At whatever age. Whenever. Like someone said, somedays you’ll feel and act 21, or 6, or 12, or 2. Or 60. Ya know, whatever. 🙂
And – don’t let your age define you. THAT’S when being a certain age becomes a problem.
You promptly forget how old you are. That’s the best way. I’ve always been the one to remember years and dates and exactly how old I was when… but now I have to stop and figure out what year it is now and if we’re past my birthday month and do some math to remember how old I am. I often just make something up.
Oh, and I married someone ten years older than me. So when I turned 30 he was turning 40. Which really took the pressure off.
Have a fabulous party and enjoy your new maturity- whether its real or not!
What do old people wear? Clothes…..just like you and me. And just because boobs start to sag and such there’s nothing that a GOOD BRA and some figure flattering clothes won’t mask.
How should I start fixing my hair? Should I start fixing my hair? One word, girl…..Sassy. You will leave the “young mom 20’s and enter the realm of “sassy mom” 30’s. Get something hip. Something easy. Same with the make up. A little goes a long way and a little will get you out the door with your head a little higher.
What stores do old people frequent? This is a tough on. You are too old for the young stores and too young for the old stores. You are in no man’s land. For clothing see first comment and for the rest…..just stay clear of the bingo hall.
How do I get rid of the grey? Should I even bother to get rid of the grey? Pull it out!!!! If there’s too much, get highlights to blend them in better. Keep the grey if you want to feel old. Really, go for the sass.
When will the wrinkles overtake the adult acne in the battle for my face? Good question. I don’t know, but Proactive has helped some people I know for the acne part. Don’t sweat the wrinkles. You live a healthy lifestyle and you probably won’t look too wrinkled for another 40 years. Why can’t wrinkles just add character to a woman like they do for men?
Knee highs? Never. Wax or go for the laser hair removal. I’ve done neither, but my sister did and her legs are hot and hairless.
How should I best console myself on that day of days? Definitely a surprise birthday party with presents. Lots of presents.
I am 1 year and 5 months away from 40 and I say “bring it on!!” My motto for my 30’s has been Sassy Mama and I plan to carry that into my 40’s. It’s not hard.
I found in my late 20’s and early 30’s if I was out with my 4 boys and dressed in my sweats and no make up the public reaction was, “Are they all yours? You must be crazy!!” That’s a quote. When I had my sass on the reaction was, “Are they all yours? You are amazing!!” I will take amazing any day.
30 is not even close to old. It’s just a number.
Happy Birthday soon!!!!!
I want you to be my personal 30’s consultant. Coming down for a visit any time soon?
I have no doubt that you will remain ever so Daring, Young, Mom and other things like awesome, as you daringly (youngly, momly, and awesomely) flip that digit.
Things to do when you are thirty (served up by a 24-year-old with no business):
1. ROCK OUT to the song “Party Generation” by Dar Williams. (“When he turned 34, but who’s counting…”)
2. Begin to look at twentysomethings as SO YOUNG. Old teenagers, really. Then point out how close you are in age to them. 29 is the new 19!
3. When younger people are talking to you about their lives, no matter how boring they are, arrange your features to appear thoughtful, WISE and seasoned. Allow grave silences in the conversation. When they ask you for advice, offer a zen koan.
4. Become VERY INDIE, the hipster version of “When I Was Your Age.” When cool and little-known bands, books, or movies come up in conversation you can say things like “OH SIGH Snapshoe Trio used to be cool, but then they got a MySpace and their fanbase rose to 24.” “You saw Frenchgeneral Explosivedevice in a dollar theater? Pshaw. I liked, quoted, got over, and subsequently mocked those who quoted that movie long before it hit THE SCENE.”
And always remember to love yourself, because you are awesome and awesome only increases with age.
Loved this comment! And you win! Send me your info, please.
-Kathryn
Many Happy Returns!
*That* milestone is coming just around the corner for me, too.
And here’s what I’m thinking about what old people wear: The most comfortable fitting and sexiest looking underwear you can find. Spending money on it is a good idea, too.
-Jess
(waiting until she can pack away those nursing bras!)
Ah, thirty. That was hard. Now I’m 33. 32 was actually easier that 30. 33? Eh… But hey, at 30, nobody is saying to you – “oooohhh…almost 31!!!” like the “almost 30” stuff you get the whole year you’re 29.
Advice – you will feel old that day. Accept it. Wallow in it, and then the next day, move on. There’s nothing you can do about it.
Also, invest in good skin care. Not so much for the wrinkle thing, but just for the whole ‘my face feels really weird now and what the hell is going on?’ thing.
I like the L’oreal skin genesis that Penelope Cruz advertises on TV. It’s a serum and then a lotion with spf. It doesn’t make you look like Penelope Cruz, (bummer) but it does keep your skin fairly elastic and I did notice results after a couple of weeks, and when I run out, (because I am disorganized and do not put it on my shopping list when it’s getting low – but I think some people do that?)I do notice that my skin feels and looks worse. You can get it at Target. Could be placebo, what do I know? But I like it, and it’s easy. No complicated masks or anything.
My previous skin care regime was to just kind of run water over my face while in the shower, so, that tells you how much I cared.
You are already way ahead of most people in the whole keeping up with technology thing. I bow to you for that. Twitter? What?
Have a great decade! I look forward to ten years of posts, and a repeat of this one when you turn 40!
Well, you’re going to need a rocking chair for sure. Khaki-colored clunky shoes, a slip that shows beneath your 1880s Sears Roebuck floral dress, and curlers are a must. And don’t forget the denture glue! I recommend shouting and waggling a crooked old wrinkly finger at the whippersnappers who dare make noise during your Love Boat reruns.
Or, you know, you could act like all the 30s gals on T.V. Isn’t Angelina Jolie 33? She sure doesn’t seem to be lacking for energy. Cameron Diaz is what, 35? 36? And she still acts like she’s 17. Come to think of it, maybe don’t act like them. I can only think of actresses because all the notable politicians, activists, and world leaders are much older. None of them had accomplished anything yet when they were thirty. 30 is too young. They’d only just graduated college, started families, and begun their lives then. Sounds like someone else I know…
It is true about all the hot celebs being in their 30’s. Somehow this is very cheering.
I’m turning 30 this month too, just before Christmas. If that doesn’t make me jolly I just don’t know what will! I have no advice for you since I’m in pretty much the same boat as you. I’ll be grabbing a life raft and reading all the other advice!
I’ve always thought I would always be a mom who is cool. I would wear cool clothes, listen to cool music and be my daughter’s best friend. So far, so good….but then again I’m only 21 and I have a 1 year old.
I think 30 is definitely still young, so don’t even worry about it!
Oh and what an awesome giveaway! I love all of their stuff.
You need to start dressing like you’re seventeen, and do your hair and makeup accordingly. This has the added advantage of making all twenty-somethings and realistic thirty-somethings gag whenever they see you, and THEN who looks prettier? HA! You do!
Either that or start shopping at Dress Barn and buying clothes from the Sag Harbor label. Honestly, who came up with THOSE?
I turn 32 this week. 30 was hard and it does not get any easier 🙁
You not are not old! You are as young as you feel!
Make sure your birthday this year is about celebrating YOU and not just another regular day (as birthdays usually are in adulthood.) See if you can get a babysitter or ditch carpool or chores and just play! Sleep in, get a massage, go shopping, go to lunch!!
As for fashion, I am 26 and still wear my hair in two braids, so I may not be the best judge of what is age appropriate! But I plan on wearing my hair that way occasionally until I’m 80, so there!
Get highlights as long as possible for the grey because I’ve heard that once you start to dye all of your hair, there’s no going back 🙂 Also, enjoy it. When I turned thirty a year and a half ago, I finally felt validated as an adult for some odd reason. Like people would suddenly take me more seriously than when I was 29, Half the battle is believing it yourself 🙂
I’m only 25, so have no real perspective on being 30 yet, therefore my “advice” may be utterly useless. Those shirts are really cute though, so I figure I ought to at least try!
Try to achieve smile wrinkles rather than frown wrinkles. It’ll probably take a long time to get any wrinkles at all, but smile wrinkles are the best wrinkles ever, and are therefore something to be aimed for.
Gray hair is not the end of the world. My mother says it’s a sign of wisdom acquired (though she’s had a patch of white hair since she was a teen). Then again, she never let me dye my hair growing up, even without any gray hair at all, so now I’m fairly fond of trying out different hair colors. So, if you’re going to be dying your hair anyway, might as well cover the gray while you’re at it, but if you’re not, I at least am too lazy to want to go to all that effort.
Shop wherever you like to shop.
Style your hair in such a way that you feel pretty, and it’s not annoying (for me, that’s a ponytail, every day, until I get it all chopped off again eventually). Honestly, my baby dictates my hairstyle more now than anything else, as my single goal with my hair is keeping him from pulling it all out. Your kids are probably past that stage though.
And to console yourself, I heartily recommend some chocolate, ice-cream, and a wild night out with your bestest girlfriends. Good food, good friends, maybe a good movie or some games, and some great dessert. Best way to celebrate a birthday that I know of (and 30 is a birthday to be celebrated! You have twice the wisdom of a 15 year old!)
Oh I know how you feel, I try to convince my hip 21 year old nephew that his 31 one year old aunt is sooooo totally cool, don’t think he bought it, but since I turned thirty I have a ritual, I can’t believe I am telling this to win a shirt, I lock myself in the bathroom, and get as close to mirror as I can without fogging it up so bad that my old eyes can’t see a thing, I scope out any signs of grey hairs my three boys have brought on and any new wrinkles that appeared overnight. Then when I don’t find any, I strut, and do some funky dance cause at 31 I still got it!!!
Wow, I think you have all the advice you need!
But for your sake, I’ll give my opinions too. 🙂
I definitely agree with:
1. Get a GREAT bra…proper support can take years (and pounds) off of a woman’s appearance
2. Pamper your skin and hair…I know in our teens and 20’s we could get away with being down-to-earth and unspoiled, but now we deserve some pampering!
3. Stay away from mom jeans, don’t dress like a teen, but do dress so that you feel comfy & attractive at the same time. It is possible!
4. Most of all: Like Barb said, Make your 30th birthday all about you! What would you do if the whole day you only had to take care of you? For my 30th (a month ago), I spent a day on the town with a couple of girlfriends…no kids, no hubbies, no responsibilities. It was so refreshing!
I adore you DYM. I hope the big 3-0 is great for you.
Hugs, MotWB
I’ll be 37 on my birthday. When I stop using acne medication and anti-wrinkle cream together for my AM and PM routines, I’ll let you know. (I’m sure I’ll be quite excited.) I hated turning 30 too, but have enjoyed being in my 30’s immensely. Wish I could somehow turn that statement into advice, but I’m not that gifted today.
You should definitely NOT watch 13 Going on 30 and feel guilty for not looking like Jennifer Garner. Because I do that, and I’m not even 30 yet.
I have loved my thirties-I only have 2 years left though and forty sounds kind of old!
I still have a year to go until the big 3-0, but I say stop worrying about it and think of all the things that you have at 30 that you didn’t have at 20. Two great kids. Dan. More money. Maybe not a lot more, but I’m guessing more. At 20, you couldn’t fly to Hawaii for the weekend on a moment’s notice, could you? Not that you would now, because you’re much to responsible for that, but it’s nice to know that, in theory at least, you could. That’s what comforts me, anyhow. 🙂
I think that simultaneous wrinkles and acne are the *only* bad thing about entering my 30s (and I have a whopping three years of experience in that decade!).
Here’s what made me feel ok about turning 30: when my smarty-pants dad asked, “so how does it feel to be 30?” his equally smarty-pants daughter replied, “pretty good – how does it feel to have a 30-year-old daughter?” There’s always someone older than you, and when there isn’t then you’ve really got something to celebrate!
I turned 30 this year too. It was super hard for me as well. I didn’t really change anything though. It was just the thought of being out of my 20’s. Everything’s fine now. Except of course my wonderful little 6 year old reminding me all the time that I’m 30. Any time she sees the number 30, she turns to me and says “Mom that’s how old you are!” And of course she doesn’t do it quietly.
Wait, are we supposed to say how old we are? Ummm, not 30 yet? Does that suffice?
I’m in for the contest.
The big 3-0! As I approached that birthday, I remained in complete denial and announced to everyone that I would stay 29 FOREVER! But a few weeks ago I turned 31 and I realized that 30 was not so bad afterall. I mean, yeah, you aren’t in your twenties anymore but to my ears 30 sounds so much younger than 31. And a lot of great things happened when I was 30. I had my first child, I got a promotion, and my sister moved close by which means our kids will get to grow up together! Just try to welcome 30 with open arms and lots of chocolate (chocolate makes everything better!) Happy Birthday!