Stick a Forks in It

twilight-trip-019As we drove along the highway to Port Angeles, I had a few minutes to think about my hideous appearance. My fair, pale, milky complexion stared back at me in the rear view mirror. It’s true I have the face of a goddess but not like one of the REALLY beautiful goddesses. I could not understand why all males everywhere were drawn to my so-called “stunning beauty.” What a joke! With silky dark jet-black hair like mine paired with my delicate twilight-trip-001features and striking pale translucent ivory skin, some days it was hard just to get out of bed in the morning and take the paper bag off my head.

Not long into the journey I realized I had imprinted on Eve’s baby, a strange thing for a human to do but the connection was so strong, the cuteness too much for a mortal to handle without freaking out and laying claim and stuff.

Luckily the baby liked me despite my pitifully weak, willowy, waif-like frame and the hideous way the sun shone off the highlights in my lustrous mane of long black tresses. I wondered how long it would be until she grew up and realized how worthless and butt-ugly I was.
We got settled into our cozy hotel room and staked out our spots in the lobby for the late night read-a-thon. In anticipation of our arrival and in an attempt to save the planet, the hotel manager followed a couple of vegetarian vampires around for a few days gathering the wrappers from their fallen animal blood receptacles and sewing them into stylish and practical furniture covers.
We drove by the Swan house and apparently Charlie’s expecting grandchildren because there was a play structure and basketball hoop out front. It was nice to see that his brain could muster up enough power to expect anything more than a bowl of pork rinds and the schedule from the TV Guide.
Dr. Cullen’s parking spot at the hospital reminded me that the vampires will need to be on the move soon lest anyone notice that they haven’t aged since arriving in Forks. I wonder if rainy podunk towns around the world are lobbying Ms. Meyer to relocate the vampires there, relying on an endless stream of tweens and housewives to kick-start their non-existent economies.
For the most part the people of Forks seemed to humor us with a slightly weary look that said, I’ll play along if you keep paying for my kids’ orthodonture. However it was almost too hard for the young cashier at one local store to keep a straight face with a customer who was going on and on about how cute the high school was and how glad she was that they had Forks High School post cards for sale. I smiled at the girl when it was my turn to pay and said, “I’m sure it was such a privilege to actually GO there. OHMYGOSH, that must have been awesome!”

She smiled and rolled her eyes. “Oh yes, it was the best thing ever.”

twilightFor my trip souvenir, I picked up a pair of Sketchers. They don’t say Forks on them or have fang marks but I will wear them and subtly think of the glory days when I traveled several hours with 10 women and a baby to buy a book that was available in 20 stores within a 10 mile radius of my home.
We had a blast. There was really something magical about being there to read it, about being in the actual bookstore that Bella walked past in Port Angeles, about eating what she ate while Edward looked passionately into her eyes at the Italian restaurant, you know, if she were like… a real person or something. (Thanks to Fawn for knowing any of this stuff so we could experience a taste of the forbidden teenage vampiric love affair that is the Twilight series.)
I read until 5:30 am after getting the book at midnight, slept for a couple of hours and was awoken by Eve’s baby (my imprintee) who reminded me with her piteous wails that I had reading to do. I finished later that weekend and I really enjoyed it, except for that one character name… and the last chapter…
The End… or is it…

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43 Responses to Stick a Forks in It

  1. Millie says:

    No way – am I really first? Or is this a Forksy mind trick?

    Buying a copy of Breaking Dawn in Forks itself… wow. I’m surprised you weren’t sucked into a literary vortex. You took a chance being in Port Angeles, you know… I hear the guys there are kind of scuzzy.

    Glad you had fun! 🙂

  2. TJ Hirst says:

    At least it was blog worthy! My daughter read it in just under four hours, but I couldn’t stay up past midnight and will relish those vampires for a little longer. Is this the last one? Please tell me it is.

    • I pray it’s the last one and that’s what Stephenie Meyer is saying now but she could easily continue the saga if she wanted to, if the budget got a little tight around her house.

  3. allysha says:

    how funny. I want your opinion of the story…

  4. grammyelin says:

    Cutest shoes ever!!! Good choice in souvenirs!

  5. Tracy says:

    Seriously, best blog post in all the history of blogdom. I cannot tell you how much it means to me when other GROWN UP and relatively normal moms talk about this book. It really validates how obsessive I am over this story. YOU ROCK!

    • I’m so glad you liked it. I haven’t blogged in a week because I didn’t want to write anything else until I’d blogged the trip but I couldn’t think of what to say. I think the pictures do all the talking.

  6. mother of the wild boys says:

    I love how you wrote this, and the accompanying pictures Rocketh! You’re the best DYM.

  7. Nikki says:

    Amazing pictures! Love it, love it, love it!

  8. Isabel says:

    DUDE….this is the best post ever. I’m so bummed I didn’t force my husband to let me go with you guys.

    (I just finished this morning. I must agree that one characters name was HORRID. It almost made me want to stop reading. What was Stephenie thinking?!)

  9. Have mixed emotions about this book, and the series, but I love that you went there and had a great time. Fantastic pictures! Someone should do a documentary on Forks Fans.

    • Oh my emotions are mixed too. I am a latent documentary film maker and would love to make that film. I’m constantly telling Dan, “When the kids are older, I’ll totally make a doc about that.”

  10. kirida says:

    I’m so glad Forks is within driving distance. I am so in love with these books, I would drive there myself.

  11. Christar says:

    AWESOME post!!! I want to go visit Forks so bad! My mom and I went to the set of the movie in April (True story!!!) and we are planning on visiting the set of New Moon come spring 09. We’ll also be driving all the way to Forks as well. It’s gonna be awesome!

    I’m super jealous you got to get the book in Washington. And did you get the Mushroom Ravioli?! Because, that would so rock. 🙂

    You can see my friends and my night of getting the book at my blog. Doesn’t compare to yours though! And if you look at the April archive, you will see the pics and read my story of visiting the Portland, Oregon set of the movie. 🙂

  12. Heather says:

    I wildly love my Forks bookmark. You rule. I’m so glad you got to go.

  13. bon says:

    Truly, you are a shameless goof and that is one of the things that I love about you.

  14. Oh, I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that dislikes the name. Of course, that is if we’re talking about the same thing. If I lived in driving distance, I totally would have gone to Forks and reveled in the book nerdiness of it all!

  15. zdoodlebub says:

    Series aside…

    (I’m on the first book, thanks to hearing about it from you first and then from about five others in the following days)(and luckily I’m not invested in the endings of books, really, because it’s all over the internet and I obviously know how it all turns out)(but I’m still looking forward to the journey)

    This post and your adorableness. I could gnaw on it.

  16. Eve says:

    You’re hilarious. RRREEEEWWIIIIIIND! I got’s to read this again!

  17. Fawndear says:

    DYM you were definately the bubbly Alice of the group, what with your mad disco ball / lava lamp decorating skills and who would have thougth your little call to a bookstore would turn into such a party? . Thanks for making it such an awesome get-away. I say we repeat the trip when ‘Midnight Sun’ comes out!

  18. surcie says:

    I haven’t read any of the series. Now I feel like I’ve missed out!

  19. Carrie says:

    Alright, I’m convinced. First, I have to admit that I am so out of it – I had no idea these books had a tie to the Peninsula. I attended my first two years of college in P.A. (that’s what the locals call it) and know that town like the back of my hand.

    So, I guess I’ll be visiting Borders tomorrow.

    Also, you and Eve and that baby = gorgeous! Glad you had fun. If that was the Red Lion, it looks like it had a little face lift!

  20. Janel says:

    First of all, I get a complex every time I take a car trip, because there’s something about those rearview mirrors that make everyone look horrible! They amplify the size of zits, pores, and noses. I’ve considered taping mine up so I can’t arrive at every vacation spot worrying about my misshapen features. Also, I just bought myself a pair of those beautiful Skechers. I’m pretty sure I imprinted on them. So tape up the mirror, and know you’re in good company.

  21. Lisa says:

    I can’t believe I ACTUALLY know someone (or at least read the blog of someone) who ACTUALLY went to Forks and ACTUALLY saw ACTUAL people who would most certainly have rubbed shoulders with Bella, the Cullens, et. al. That is, if it was ACTUALLY real.

    What a fantastic post! I love how your readers who are hard core fans of the series see your hard core side, and others who enjoy the series and think it’s awesome, and funny, that you went there, but are not obsessed, mostly see the humor in at and your lovely mild sarcasm (hilarious) about it.

  22. All Adither says:

    Being in a hotel room with a newborn I’d be way too panicky to read into the night. I’d be jittery about getting all the sleep I could.

  23. crafty by nature says:

    Hey there vampire girl!!! I am glad to hear the trip was so much fun!! I cant believe there was a newborn there though, that is way more scary (sharing your sleeping space with a brand new little one, I mean) to imagine than any vampire attacks!!! I cant wait to borrow the book when I get back on the 15. I wont be able to sleep that well for the first few days anyways and papa will babysit for me so…. Cant wait to come home and see you all. I AM HUGE!!!! Baby has grown a little but mosty I have grown. See you soon, much love to all!!!

  24. How fun! Except…I’m 2/3 of the way through since I just got the library copy, and now I have to go read it so I know what happens in that last chapter. She had a lot of huge twists in it so far, which I enjoyed.

  25. nosurfgirl says:

    LOL!! I think I have now imprinted on you, DYM.

  26. metalia says:

    HAAAA! I just wrote a post about my Twilight Drinking Game, so Hola Isabel sent me the link to your post. This is AMAZING; I have actual tears of laughter rolling down my cheeks.

  27. AJ says:

    Just finished reading it and the whole time I was looking for “the name.” Well, I knew it as soon as I saw it, and I actually said outloud, “Daring Young Mom was right!” Terrible.

    Then I had to explain it all to my husband (who refuses to read the books but asked me for an update every 1/2 hour).

  28. KYouell says:

    You’ve convinced me to start the series. I recently got a library card and have joined a walking book club that meets right there at the library with our strollers to walk & talk about books (& kids cuz let’s be real we do that too). I’ve placed a request for Twilight. I’m number 330 out of 330. So it will be awhile before I catch up.

  29. KayLynn says:

    I think my favorite part was that the grey van parked next to “Bella’s” truck says, “Twilight Tours.” Wow. Talk about pumping it for all it’s worth!

  30. Wendy says:

    I have never read any of those books, but my husband and I stayed in Forks during our honeymoon. That was almost 10 years ago. Boy do I feel cool for beating the trend! lol. Love the pictures!

  31. sadira says:

    Oh…I JUST started the series this week…I know, I’m slow…but, I am devouring each book!!

  32. Daisy says:

    Love the pictures – especially the truck!

  33. lainakay says:

    So jealous! Thanks for the cute recap of your trip. I’ve been waiting with bated breath to hear about it!

    Glad you liked the book, too. I’m with you on the name, though I do think it may be exactly the type of name an eighteen year old girl would have chosen. That or a bit of a joke on Stephenie’s part as none of the other characters seemed to like it either. Perhaps her own commentary on made-up names. None of her own children, or the other characters in her books have such fabricated names.

    I am sad it’s over, though we do have Midnight Sun to look forward to. Admit it, you can’t wait for that one either!

  34. Keyona says:

    Ok so I know I’m waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay late but I just recently discovered Twilight and me and my co-workers created our own bookclub. After being in the bloggyworld for a few months I realized it’s a series. I started reading it yesterday and then realized I had heard something about Forks in one of your blogs. I am slow, I admit it. I now just realized a movie is coming out to. OMG. I’m only on chapter 2 but if everyone is drooling over it, it has to be good huh? Ok, not that you care, just wanted to let you know. :o)

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