Speed Walking Glory

Best Parade EverDan supervised the kiddie festivities with mildly-annoyed resignation while I walked a 5K in the mud behind some of my running girlfriends. My joints are fairly bad and I once had a physical therapist tell me not to become a runner so I use that as an excuse to walk races with dignity. And I was chock full of dignity on Saturday, speed-walking along the gravel trail past the cows with my stretch pants rolled up to mid-calf to keep them out of the mud.

My original goal was to complete the 3 miles in less than an hour. By the time I finished my only goal was to not let the old lady with the cane cross the finish line before I did. She kept passing me as we walked along the trail and at first it stressed me out. Eventually I just had to face the fact that I was an amazing speed walking athlete and that if an old lady with a cane could pass me like that, then she was the freaking awesomest old lady with a cane who ever lived and thusly a worthy opponent. She was my nemesis and I could not let her win.

Mud EverywhereSo towards the end of the race I ran a bit until I was a safe distance ahead of her and then crossed the finish line with a time of 1 hour and 30 seconds. I was glad to beat my arch rival but a little frustrated that I couldn’t walk 3 miles in under an hour. And then I saw a friendly face at the sidelines so I walked over to chat. After a few minutes went by, someone mentioned that although I had crossed the finish line, my place in the race wouldn’t be recorded until I walked another hundred yards and turned in my number. So yeah. Several people had passed me at that point, including the OLWAC, who was probably laughing to herself knowing that our epic struggle had ended and she had gotten her revenge.

But at least I got a free t-shirt… and a free banana… and some free water… all included in the $25 entrance fee. And I found out later that the clock at the finish line had been set to time a race that had started 15 minutes earlier so I’d actually walked the run in about 45 minutes, smashing my original goal to tiny shards of glory.
Nancy Likes Bananas

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29 Responses to Speed Walking Glory

  1. Yvie says:

    Hi there! It sounds like a lot of fun!

    I surely want to engage myself in activities like Speed walking for a cause (I don’t think I can handle any running or so lol).

    You really did a great job! That must be so tough walking for 5K—I don’t know if I can’t still do that, but I do miss walking a leisurely 2k with my friends. 🙂


  2. I’m so proud of you… er… I’m proud of the Little Old Lady for whooping your butt… 🙂 That’s awesome that you did the three miles in 45 mins. Yay, Kate!

  3. All Adither says:

    You stud, you. Way to go!

  4. Fawndear says:

    You speed walk as fast as I slow-mo jog. Here’s to hoping we are all that little old 70 year old lady whooping young things butts when we are her age. Ya did awesome sister, especially coming off your injury.

  5. I’m all for speedwalking, it doesn’t matter what is officially recorded on the paper either. You beat the HBOL.

  6. Janel says:

    One can only hope that your next 5K will smash this 5K’s post-race menu to tiny shards of glory. Haven’t they ever heard of bagels or doughnuts? And what about massages? I mean, if you beat HBOL, shouldn’t some major relaxation be in order?

  7. I think it’s cute that you call that shirt a “free” shirt… $25…. heeheehee….

  8. Oh yeah…. Way to go you mad-walker you!

  9. Lori says:

    At least you beat your goal. I’m sorry about the HBOL though. The 45 minutes, did that count the time you spent talking before going the extra 100 yards?

  10. Shalee says:

    Well, at least you have a new goal: Beat the HBOL next time… with a vengence!

  11. Becky says:

    Congratulations! I ran my first 5K a few years ago and absolutely loved it! I’m never going to be a “serious runner” (that race took me about 12 minutes per mile), but it’s still amazing to cross a finish line! 🙂

  12. grammyelin says:

    I just recently did the “Women’s Run” along with about 6.000 other girls and women (which benefits breast cancer).

    I hate to say it, Honey, but I am smarter than you. I didn’t have to beat the little old lady because I took her to the run as my friend. That way, I had a perfect excuse for walking at a leisurely pace. “My partner is 70. It would just be rude to leave her in the dust.” So I let her set the pace and it was just about perfect for me – sad, but true.

  13. mother of the wild boys says:

    DYM rocketh!! You’re awesome. 😀

  14. andi says:

    WTG!! Woot-woot!

  15. Margaret says:

    I heard about an 80-yr-old lady who ran marathons, and she always finished last, but she’d say, “You won’t beat me if you don’t compete!” which I think is a cool sentiment.

    And look at you – you beat the HBOL with a cane!

    Er, I mean, you didn’t beat her with a cane, but you beat her, and she had a cane, but it’s not like you physically BEAT her with her own cane, even though she had a cane and you did, physically, beat her, but not in a painful way, tho maybe it was painful, was it?

    painful like that sentence?

  16. michal says:

    you crack me up! you should thank HBOL for helping you smash your goal to pieces. admit it–she made you go faster than you would have otherwise.

  17. Proud Daughter of Eve says:

    “[…]smashing my original goal to tiny shards of glory.”


  18. Collette says:

    good for you for not beating the old lady up! oh yeah, and for walking the race. i ran/walked…okay more walked than ran…a 13 mile marathon when i was 2 months prego with alexa…i was pretty sore afterwards. but oh so proud of myself for doing something that i’d never done before!

  19. nan says:

    Well, shucks! I have missed so much, being a lazy blog reader and all… Been a bit busy! Hope it all works out with laylee. I am so glad to hear you can get cute little hearing aids, that should make it easier.

  20. kenjishiela says:

    that’s cool DYM. In 3 days from now, there is a celebration that women should never forget… and do you want to really fly in a broomstick? HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO DYD! and all the fathers!

  21. Rebecca says:

    That is one speedy lil’ ol’ lady! (and good job.)

  22. smartmama says:

    from another joint impaired (“don’t you dare take up high impact sports”)

    onyl a woman secure in ehr womanhood can walk!!

  23. Cheetah says:

    you are so funny! Love the HBOL. There is a TV netwrok about her isn’t there.
    I can’t run eityer. You have inspired me to enter races. And apparently I can’t type or spell.

  24. sarah k. says:

    I’m anxiously awaiting the post on “Uncle Dr. Derek.” (I nearly died of envy as Derek was telling me about his visit.)

  25. jd says:

    Yes I give you one deep bow-age! That is awesome! I am going to speed walk to the kitchen for a banana those looked good!

  26. Nancy says:

    Who is that hot women in the green with you in the picture? DId she like win the whole race? She looks like a total runner, like she’s been running for years probably 🙂

  27. Paige says:

    Don’t worry about that little old lady. I had a little girl (maybe 8) who was not about to be beat by a fat old lady like me, and every time I passed her, she would run ahead. Ugh. She beat me.

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