I Heart Tasers

For Dan’s 30th birthday I trashed his office like so:
How old are you again?
and I bought him this shirt after following an ad on g-mail for funny shirts. Yes, Google advertising executives, some people actually click through and purchase. Their name is Me.
He hearts his new shirt.
The more I look at the shirt the more I realize that I don’t verbalize pictographic representations of transitive verbs nearly enough. I’ll try to do it more. Hence the title of this post.

One thing I didn’t realize about my blog was that it is a place where people go to look for security devices. Heck. You probably come here each day looking for tasers, pepper spray and personal alarms and I’ve left you with nothing, nothing but stories about my stupid kids and my pointless life. But now, thanks to the following email I’ve found a new direction for my blog: all security device information, all the time. I sure as cheese want to give my readers “what they’re looking for.” Hi Mom! I hope you like the new focus of my blog!

Good Day,

I was just looking at your site, and I have a number of clients within our network looking for stun guns and security devices. I am seeking to work with one company today. I do not work as a lead broker or a referral agency.

I’m simply looking to direct my clients to a relevant site when they’re looking for security devices.

Your site looks like it’ll make a strong fit for what they’re looking for. I am looking to work with somebody as soon as possible, so I’m hoping you are available to talk at sometime. Give me a call at your convenience.

Thanks in advance,
Name Witheld for Purposes of WHAT THE CHICKEN!?

He then included a phone number with a California OC area code. I don’t want to call him though until I post some more relevant information on the site. I mean, he says I’m already a strong fit but I want to be Hefty Cinch Sack strong. So here goes:

After missing his nap this afternoon, Magoo’s condition began to deteriorate quickly. He started to whine and cry and eventually squeezed his eyes shut tight, threw his head back and began to wail like a wookie as he stumbled around the room slamming into things and harming himself.

I bet he would have been easily distracted by target shooting in the backyard or subduing pill bugs with a stun gun, but I had forgotten to stop by my local security device shopping outlet to pick up the necessary supplies.

The local security device shopping outlet would also be a great place to pick up tasers, mace, nunchucks, brass knuckles, and other security devices. Check it out!

This entry was posted in fun, fun, fun, tasers. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to I Heart Tasers

  1. Sarah says:

    You’ve got sass and style in bucket loads!

  2. allysha says:

    I heart that shirt! Too funny.

  3. All Adither says:

    You’re so nice to your husband. For my husband’s 40th I did nothing of the kind. Except marry him.

  4. mother of the wild boys says:

    His office looks awesome! How long did that take you? And did you totally feel like a hoodlum trashing his office? How fun!!

    I heart the shirt…but not as much as I heart DYM. 🙂

  5. grammyelin says:

    I love what you did for the birthday boy. By the way, “nice new office, Dan. Way to go.” Sorry about Magoo’s sad afternoon. Let the kid nap — for the love of Cheese!

  6. Shalee says:

    30… What a baby.

    Don’t call. He just wants to get you to send him one of those awesome shirts!

  7. Rebecca says:

    I wish I could do that at MY husband’s office! Awesome!
    And I am looking forward to your new, security-oriented blog – I’ve been wanting some pepper spray. That’ll show those young punks at the convience store.

  8. Carrie says:

    Happy Birthday Dan! You are an awesome wife — I’ve never done that to my husband’s “office” – I don’t think the firetrucks would appreciate being trashed like that! 🙂

  9. Melanie says:

    Happy 30th to Dan! And if the OC company sends you any handcuffs, let me know how they work for you. I think they could be just the solution for getting my kid to stop sneaking out of bed at bedtime.

  10. Amy says:


    I just bought this exact same t-shirt for my wife.

    AND, I found it the exact same way…


    Cute decorations though.

  11. Carrie says:

    Happy birthday to Dan! You did a great job with the office 🙂

  12. I love the shirt, but what a mouthfull to say!

  13. Laughing like a wee girl at this post.

  14. KYouell says:

    That’s one nice looking decorating job! The Biscuit turned 3 the other day and I’ve done no decorating. Heck, I even made chocolate cupcakes knowing that he’d turn them down, but Daddy & I looooved them. Everyone else has colds and Mama needed some chocolate love to help her cope.

    Thanks for explaining how the title of the post and the t-shirt related. I learned something at DYM today!

    I do think that I heard The Biscuit cough like a Wookie today. Talk about a boy that wants a nap yet won’t close his eyes. What is up with that? I think I’m finally too old to be able to remember that feeling.

Comments are closed.