The answer to the question — “Where do you keep the scissors?” — should always be — “Higher.”

mangeToday Laylee gave Stephanie’s 3-year-old a serious mullet. She shaved groovy designs in Magoo’s tender scalp, and was just taking her turn in the butcher’s chair when I walked in to see what the kids were up to. Half of her pony tail was on the floor. Luckily it was the top half.

I’m just glad she’s not old enough to notice how uneven it is after I “fixed” it for about half an hour, around and around in circles with the scissors, shorter and shorter and always the little crazy feathers and tails hung down mocking me.


So it’s sort of bobish and Magoo’s is baldish. I had to shave it shorter than his eyebrows in order to get to the point that he didn’t look like he was losing his hair in chunks due to some hideous mange. I hope his friends can still tell that he’s a mammal. I wouldn’t want him to be mocked on the playground.


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40 Responses to Higher

  1. Veronica says:

    The great thing is it’s only hair and it will grow back.

    How quiet were they while this all went on though?

  2. Corrie says:

    Just goes to show that kids can sit still. Funny how they’ll sit for their own turn in the ‘barber’s chair’ when they’re not supposed to.

  3. grammyelin says:

    I’m so sorry! How in the world did you impress on her mind that she must Never Ever Ever do this again, without crushing her creative genius? That is a poser.

    Luckily for me, none of you ever had the creative muse – when it came to hairstyle.

  4. MaryC says:

    Yikes! I’m glad you found the kids before it got even worse!

    Sadly, I gave my daughter a similar haircut that you described – around and around, shorter and shorter and still uneven – and I wasn’t even trying to correct a toddler cut-job, just my own inability to cut hair evenly. Wah!

  5. Jeana says:

    You can’t shave the cute off that boy.

    Ah, Laylee. A kindred spirit. When I was…older than she is, actually…I shaved the “fuzz” off of my mom’s brand new couch, leaving gaping holes all over the front and I cut the hair of the little girl my mom used to babysit. In my defense, they were barber shears and the little girl asked what they were for.

  6. Shalee says:

    Oh yeah… they look like they’re suffering.

    You, on the other hand, probably need a good drink.

  7. Emily R says:

    Everyone with a toddler or who knows a toddler knows he isn’t mangy. I love this story.
    (I tried cutting my own hair last year. age: 27)

  8. Stephanie says:

    You know they cut the hair off the rocking horse, too?

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  10. Melissa says:

    I did this when I was a kid… the neighbor boy had a curl right in the middle of his forehead that his mom used to gel in place. Think Superman curl. It bugged the heck out of me. So, one day, I asked him if he wanted a hair cut. He said yes and I snipped that sucker off. I still remember how much trouble I was in… it’s a good thing hair grows!

  11. Heffalump says:

    I still have a small scar on my forehead from where a friend tried to cut my hair…sadly we were older than Laylee is and should have known better.

  12. Erin says:

    I can’t even imagine. Laylee’s hair looks cute though. I remembered the first and only time I’ve cute my little girls hair and I had the same issue. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do it again.

  13. chilihead says:

    I have always told my children, “Meh. Hair grows back. You’re the one that has to wear it.” I feel that way about holes, too, but I haven’t had to have that discussion yet.

    Besides, Magoo looks even MORE adorable–and I didn’t think that was possible. And Laylee? Always a beauty. And you can tell her I was totally kissing up. 😉

  14. Karly says:

    Lalalalala…this will not happen to my kids…fingers in ears…lalalalalala…

  15. bananas says:

    No she DIDN’T!!! Oh my goodness that makes me laugh SO HARD. Naughty naughty girl.

  16. jenyum says:

    My eldest gave herself a terrible mullet a few years ago, then stuffed the hair under the couch and tried to claim she didn’t know what happened.

    “It just fell off.”

    Good times.

  17. Kimberly says:

    ~laughing uproariously at “It just fell off”~ Oh, I can’t wait!

  18. Rebecca says:

    I am laughing so, so hard.
    When my oldest was nearly three, she cut EVERY STRAND of her hair off. ALL OF IT. Aside from a little curl of hair she left on the very top of her head – and she’d had long, blond ringlets. She looked like a little ostrich baby for MONTHS.

  19. Llama Momma says:

    Oh no!! (Moving scissors as I type…)

  20. nancy says:

    Oooh boy! Due to several similar incidents at school and at home, we have this chant in my house:

    Mom asks, “What do we use scissors for?”
    Reply, “To cut paper!”
    Mom asks, “Who cuts HAIR?”
    Reply, “Mama or Daddy. NOT US”

    I test them on it every now and then to make sure they still remember.

  21. Meg says:

    Could be worse… when I was two I found my mom’s sewing scissors and cut a 12 inch square hole, smack in the middle of the king-sized quilt that she was about 10 hours from finishing… A fancy quilt all hand pieced together.

    I’m amazed that I lived.

    And I think the bob is adorable 🙂

  22. Worker Mommy says:

    I would laugh…but then I know karmas a ***** and so I’m rethinking. That. Really not laughing at you, laughing with you. I’m suprised my two haven’t done something similiar.
    Loved meeting you my dear. Hopefully we’ll get more of a chance to chat at another SMB event in the near future.

  23. Carrie says:

    Ha, ha – I AM laughing because last year Katie cut a big ‘ol chunk out of the front of her hair – there was no fixing to be done. Time was the only thing that was going to work! Good news though, it’ll probably never happen again! 🙂

  24. Doesn’t every kid do this sooner or later? At least it was hair and not your curtains.

  25. Cousin Deb says:

    When I was Laylee’s age I was caught giving myself a “makeover” and was taken for an emergency hair appointment. You may consider it worse that my husband took the scissors to his mother’s hair while she napped. Same age. Put the scissor up very high and be careful when napping.

  26. fluffychicky says:

    #22: Karma, shmarma! Bwhahahahahah!

  27. Tiffany says:

    My four-year old said, “Oh no. She’s in big trouble.” Then, he was pressing me for info on what her punishment was.

    The haircut brings out the Dan-ness in Magoo.

  28. fluffychicky says:

    I am laughing in the kindest way possible…really.

    OK, I’m not. I am pointing and laughing and encouraging others to do the same.

    Sorry. 🙂

  29. FeeFiFoto says:

    Once I found a clump of Barbie doll hair behind the couch. “Funny,” I mused, “we don’t have any Barbies.” A few days later the barber asked who’d been cutting chunks of my three-year-old son’s shiny blond hair. This was news to me, so I asked my son, “Who cut your hair?” and he replied “Jordan” (slightly older cousin). “How did that happen?” I wondered, and my son said “He asked me if I wanted a haircut and I said ‘okay'”.

    So Little Man sported a mini mohawk for a couple of months.

  30. Kathryn in NZ says:

    I think EVERYONE has one of these stories in their history…

  31. MomOnTheGo says:

    Oh, that is my greatest fear. I am far prouder than I should be of my daughter’s long hair. The bob looked good to me, though.

  32. Farm Wife says:

    Keep the finger nail scissors up high too. My Best Friend’s daughter likes to give hair cuts with them!

    Some how we’ve avoided serious hair cutting issues. #1 Son cut a small chunk out of his own hair, but in a very inconspicuous spot, and the surrounding hair was long enough to cover. My scissors live on top of the fridge because of that.

  33. Tonya says:

    Isn’t it neat how God made it so hair grows back? I’m sure he did this knowing that children and scissors don’t mix :o) You did a good job fixing them up and everyone that notices anything will just nod in that “been there, done that” way.

  34. fidget says:

    I’m sorry to laugh but HIGHER! is always where I keep the scissors. My husband however must tuck them into bed with the kids or something because we’ve had some strikingly similar incidents and I was just bemoaning how my 4 year olds hair is 16 different lengths from her last clipping catastrophe.

  35. Jess says:

    Thing 1 cut the front of his hair when he was 3. He was at my Mother’s and she seemed to forget all of the bald barbies of my childhood. She moved the scissors to a place that he would not longer find them. We have been lucky with Thing 2 he has no interest in cutting his hair or anyone else’s. Of course now that I have said that he will be bald by the weekend.

  36. kerflop says:

    “hideous mange” made me snort. And I NEVER snort while laughing. Not ever.

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  38. I love those pictures. I found your site from Kim & Jason’s award winners, and I have to say yours is well-deserved. What a great site. I can definitely see you playful spirit. As someone with no kids of my own, these stories are great. Thanks for sharing!

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