Lunch Engine Optimization

Peanut butter and jam sandwiches on bread with pink jelly, sugar sauce that tastes like candy, creamy brown sauce, squishy homemade pastry and proteinI hear a lot of people talking shmack about Search Engine Optimization, the art of getting your website as high in the search results as possible on Google, MSN, Yahoo or Hakia.

There are many ways to do this. One is to creatively add popular keywords all over your site, in your post titles, your categories and tags, anywhere that would be picked up by a search engine. If you say “Purple Manatees” 400 times on the front page of your website, chances are you will rank pretty high on an MSN search for purple manatees. If you say “purple manatees” 400 times AND “large redish-blue sea creatures that are also known as cows of the sea, who live in the ocean in salt water and swim like fishes even though they’re mammals who are larger than PARIS HILTON or BRITNEY SPEARS,” you really broaden the search results people can use to find your site.

I’ve never really done this, but I hear the key is to use terms that a lot of people search for and to use as many different terms as possible.

Today I noticed that although I don’t do this on my website, I totally do it to get my kids to put the lunch I’ve made high on their personal search results page. Laylee wanted peanut butter and Magoo just wanted some BREAD!

Instead of — “peanut butter sandwiches,” I made, “Peanut butter and jam sandwiches on bread with pink jelly, sugar sauce that tastes like candy, creamy brown sauce, squishy homemade pastry and protein.”

That way, if they’re searching for peanuts, butter, jam, sandwiches, bread, pink things, jelly/jello/gelatinous anything, sugar, sauce, brown items, things that squish, homemade things, pastries, or vital protein-type nutrients, my PB&J creation will match their search perfectly.

Tomorrow I may whip up some “Kraft macaroni and cheese, slightly overcooked but almost al dente, pasta noodles with orange cheesish sauce, made with milk (an ingredient also found in ice cream), butter, unknown chemicals, saturated fat, refined carbohydrates, fun, slurpable goodness and joy.”

the reasons: cilantro, blue sky, Dan greeting me in the morning with an invitation to go clothes shopping

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29 Responses to Lunch Engine Optimization

  1. falwyn says:

    Oh my gosh, you are awesome.

    But tell the truth — you just wanted this post to be number one on a search for purple manatees, didn’t you? I know the truth…

  2. Kimberly says:

    I’m giggling. I’m actually giggling.

  3. Lei says:

    That’s a mouthful! Lol!

  4. Pam in Utah says:

    Congratulations on being number one in the google search for purple manatees! WoWwa! And I especially loved your “reasons”. 🙂 I’m wishing to go shopping with you!

  5. Thea says:

    LOL! Sounds like my house, although the request is usually for waffles. How can I optimize that?

    Awesome reasons.

  6. Heffalump says:

    You ARE #1 for purple manatees! Yeah for you!
    I guess I am not out to conquer the world with my blog. I worry about people googling underwear when I post about that age old need to have your favorite cartoon character plastered across your bum…so I try to come up with alternative terms to avoid any sickos, but its hard.
    I think its a great time of life when they are young enough that you can “optimize” with your words and make things better than the just plain old everyday.

  7. Syndi says:

    My lunch time optimazation usually happens when I try and make up a goofy song out of what I’m serving…like,

    “Peanut…peanut butterrrr…And Jelly, YEA!” *** jazz hands***

  8. How do you come UP with this stuff? I am in awe, truly.

  9. Poppa2b says:

    I like it when I’m in the top 10 google search, especially when I’m 2 of 2.7 million and I see 20+ views a day or when a major online business newspaper puts a link to one of my stories (It happened a month ago but I’m still overly excited and don’t waste a chance to tell anyone even if they don’t care). But how do you get poeple to leave a comment? I think it would be fun to get comments sometimes.
    By the way, I got some of my ideas about how to attract viewers from the blogging basics link on this page.

  10. It makes me laugh to hear that someone else uses this technique with their little ones. Sometimes, you just have to be REALLY creative to peak their interest in food!

  11. Carrie says:

    Sometimes you have to be a short order cook too . . . with creative descriptions for the most everyday of items (like mac n’ cheese)! 🙂

  12. Melissa says:

    I have a stat counter on my blog. But I’m going to take it off. It’s stressful to me. I want to be loved by the masses and my counter just keeps reminding me that I’m not. Maybe I too should blog about purple manatees?

  13. ynaffit says:

    P.S. I call fettuccine alfredo ‘grown up mac n cheese.’ If I incorporate those two names, maybe I will get more cyber gits as well!

  14. Emily says:

    DYM, THIS is why I love your blog. 🙂

  15. Dan says:

    You. Are. High. LARIOUS.

  16. Liz says:

    so did Dan really greet you in the morning with an invitation to go clothes shopping? That deserves a post 🙂

  17. surcie says:

    Cheesish? I like it!

  18. Sketchy says:

    Yep, it’s all in the marketing when getting kids to eat. Thats why we eat things like: Peanutbutter Chicken (aka Thai Chicken), Sloppy Joe Rice (aka Jambalya) and Chip Salad (aka Taco Salad). It just makes life easier.

  19. Jennifer says:

    Ok I admit, I googled purple manatees to see if it was true. It is, you are #1.
    Super funny post, I’ll have to save this trick for use when DS is a bit older and starts his own “searches”.

  20. I totally love the fact that you filed this under “world domination”. : ) Isn’t that what a daring young mom would do? Kudos on your cool blog.

    Suzie Eller (T. Suzanne)
    author of The Mom I Want to Be

  21. Margaret says:

    I agree with Syndi (#7) – jazz hands helps. A LOT.

  22. I second what Emily and Margaret said.

    I wish I was totally, inherently and brilliantly hilarious like you are, and jazz hands can take an ordinary day and make it great (or was that Mary Tyler Moore? Either way…).

    PS: Melissa – don’t worry about the stats (I have one on my Blog, too, and wish I would see the number of visitors jump by the hundreds and thousands instead of the 10s. Oh, well… I guess the people who really matter are reading, right? hehe).

  23. Dannie says:

    Oh so funny! Definitely trying it here with my 2. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

  24. RGLHM says:

    brilliant analogy! Where DO you come up with these things??

  25. Timothy Fish says:

    While some SEO is needed to insure that a search engine finds a site, the best advice is to consistently write the kind of stuff that the search engines hope to find. The algorithms for search engines are constantly changing in an attempt to find the most useful information on the web. Some people go to great effort to figure out how to redirect the search engines to meaningless content, but people who constantly create good content and do a few things to make it easier for the search engine to understand what the content is will be more successful because the search engines are looking for them while they are looking to be found by the search engines.

  26. sarah k. says:

    Cheesish, cheesish, cheesish, cheesish, cheesich, sheeshish, shseechish. OK, say it, then try to type it. I dare you.

  27. Very funny.

    But Kathryn, I am extremely disappointed at your treason for NOT referring to the mac and cheese as simply “Kraft Dinner” and leaving it at that. Where’s the Canadian in you? Do you have a hatred for Barenaked Ladies?

    Perhaps some therapy is in order.

  28. Kristi says:

    Oh, that made me chuckle a lot! Love the very descriptive lunch menu–I think that’s just the ticket to get the kids to eat 🙂

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