A Cup of Pooh, A Box of Snails and a Pack of Bubble-Yum


This is what’s become of my kitchen counters. Is it sick that this sight fills me with glee? Don’t answer that. I have a kid, a real kid. No baby girls here no more.

Sure she still has a few mispronunciations. She says “baft-yobe” for “bathrobe” or “yobe” for short. She also does funny things with singular and plural. Recently she pulled an “ear-wack” out of her ear. There was only one and we all know “wax” is plural. Our friend Mr Burns is known to Laylee as “The Burn” because we say “The Burns” when we’re talking about the whole family.

grassToday The Burn went frolicking with Laylee in the fountains outside Megacorp. We had just stopped in to check the progress on the recently reinstalled grassy knoll around the undulating sculpture and to score some chocolate milk.

Laylee asked me if we could drive to the place where the sky and clouds come down and stick to the ground. I started to tell her there was no such place and explain how the horizon always keeps moving no matter how much closer you get to it. Then I stopped and told her I’d never been there and maybe we could go sometime together. I then decided to make my fortune writing greeting cards.

She said that next time we’re on an airplane we could ask “the man” if he would open the window. Then we could scoop up some of the clouds and put them on our laps. When I asked her what we would do with the clouds, she told me she would shove them in her bug house to make a soft bed for her snails.

In Old Navy, she started dancing spontaneously and looks well on her way to becoming quite a fine breaker:

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Today I told Jeana the reason I’m having trouble feeling the urge to blog lately and she said, “I could not be more surprised if you told me the reason you were in a slump was because you were spending so much time reading Kevin Federline’s blog.” Personally I find it interesting that Jeana knows about his blog and I would prefer that she referred to him more respectfully as K-Fed next time she decides she would like to “git” all up in my grill about him.

wmba-skirtLater on I narrated the entire Nutcracker from memory so Laylee would know which character to dance like. I made soup for dinner, scored some free dining chairs, fed a snail, convinced Magoo that he prefers edamame to pizza, saved my Riverside Shakespeare from certain death, and asked a sales associate whether this was a “dress” or a skirt for members of the WNBA. Who knew they liked to shop at Old Navy?

My life is full.

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24 Responses to A Cup of Pooh, A Box of Snails and a Pack of Bubble-Yum

  1. Jeana says:

    Ah, you talk smack about my gettin’ up in your grill, and yet you did not share the reason you’re not feeling the urge to blog. Because you’re busy watching…come on, Daring One, say it…

  2. Jeana says:

    Oh, and of course I know about his blog. He tagged me for a meme way back and he’s been bugging me ever since to put him on my blogroll. And I think he’s going by FedEx now, no?

  3. Ginger says:

    Love the “sky sticking to the ground” concept.

    Personally, I think your greatest heroics were the edamame-for-pizza switcheroo.

  4. jodijean says:

    ok is just me or did anyone else LOOVE that laylee is wearing a”laylee” shirt. awesome.

  5. The video is adorable; my daughter enjoyed it, too. Loved the line about the dress/skirt.

  6. Farm Wife says:

    Did you know snails love cucumber? Well, at least slugs do and they’re closley related aren’t they? My college roommate had a pet slug named George that lived in an old Apple juice jug under her bed…we fed him cucumbers scavanged from the salad bar in the caf…until one long weekend when we forgot him & he dissolved. Sorry. I couldn’t stop sharing.

  7. Vicki says:

    How cute!!!!

    General stuff about my life..
    My Journey with God.

  8. I am loving the dance video! Wow, she’s got talent! That made my day. ROTFL about the gittin in ur grill!

  9. heather says:

    love the comment about the clouds.
    love the dancing even more. especially when she comes up to blink into the camera and then turns her back. CLASSIC

    and, yeah. so i went to K-Fed’s site, and just like every other million myspace pages, I am such a goober that i can’t figure it out! what the heck? give me a regular ole scrolling text filled blog any day.

  10. Beth says:

    That child is totally genetically linked to you!! Coolness is hereditary!!

    Heather always said “bun” instead of “buns” when she gets hurt on her backside. “Mommy!!!! I hurt my bun!” because she only hurt one side, not both sides.

  11. Yeah Heather. I think it’s probably the lack of scrolling text that’s hurting his rise to success in the music business. Sad really. 🙂

  12. Kimberly says:

    That post was entertaining and comment worthy in so many ways, but all I can think about is Laylee dancing. What an amazing girl!

  13. Liz says:

    FEDEX BWAHAHAHAHA okay I’m a slow learner.

  14. bon says:

    Ummm..what IS keeping you from getting your blogging groove on?

  15. I love Laylee’s shirt and dance.
    Making snail pillows out of clouds. That girl is a treasure.

  16. KYouell says:

    I am quite impressed with the whole “Later on…” paragraph. Did all that happen at Old Navy?

  17. Sketchy says:

    Where the sun touches the ground…cloud pillows for snails…wild dancing in Old Navy…Laylee, you is adorable!

  18. californiazenmom says:

    I’m mostly just tickled pink that you saved your Riverside Shakespeare from certain death — what sort of death exactly? Were Laylee & Magoo engaging in a frolicking sword fight complete with poisonings, treachery and trickery — and Riverside was the last one standing? Did Twelfth Night faeries throw Riverside into a good old fashioned Northwest tempest? Did Riverside throw itself into the river (a nice play on words, but perhaps a little TOO obvious) while singing flower songs? Smothered with a pillow by multi-ethnic Mr. Burn? Inquiring minds want to know. 🙂

  19. I’m still hanging…….. What IS keeping you in a bloggy fog? What are you watching? America’s Got Talent? Pirates? haha, it has to be worse if you, The Daring One, can’t say………

  20. SURCIE says:

    That’s no dress. Clearly, it’s a lonnnnng tube top–an accident waiting to happen.

    Have you seen “So You Think You Can Dance”? Frankly, I think Laylee is more talented than some of those yahoos.

    I don’t read K-fed because I don’t dig it when suburban white boys “act black”. However, I am curious to know whether Shar Jackson really is pregnant with his fifth child.

  21. Eve says:

    mo’ mo’ Laylee mo’ Laylee!

  22. MamaLady says:

    Love her comment about the clouds in the airplane.
    There is a mountain range around here (northern Cal/Nevada) that is so high, on cloudy days we drive through the clouds. I turn into a 3 year old with glee every time we see the clouds. Much fun.

  23. Anne/kq says:

    That is some awesome dancing.

    I am always confused by the dress-like things at Old Navy, too.

  24. amy says:

    My mother-in-law is well into her sixties, and still talks about her “contact len.” Somehow it’s cuter when you’re a cute little girl. 🙂

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