Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 2

And now for week 2 of The Series:

If you purchased all of the organizers and devices in the catalog, you would need an organizer to hold all of your organizers. It appears that the catalog itself is an organizer for exclamation points and photographs of sythetic materials.

“Dashboard Organizer keeps essentials at your fingertips so you can keep your eyes on the road!”

The squeals you hear from your friends after they come across your demonic pig tree feeder are squeals of “laughter”.

“Pig Tree Feeder will have everyone squealing with laughter!”
pig tree

There are uglier front door mats.

“Welcome mat will have guests hangin’ with the ‘Gnome-ies’!”

Don’t stress out if little Timmy’s still not interested in using the potty. Let him start when he’s ready. It’s never too late for toilet training.

“Waterproof Pants” (Available in sizes up to a 58″ waist.)

Crafty people like vinyl that resembles lace. Non-crafty people like tablecloths that resemble cloth.

“For the crafty hostess – a vinyl tablecloth that resembles lace!”
lace vinyl

I can eat as much as I want on Flag Day.

Waist Extender adds up to 5″ to waist bands of jeans, pants, skirts.
waist extender

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18 Responses to Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 2

  1. That’s it! Next time, I’m taking the SkyMall catalog with me!

  2. Jessica G. says:

    Oh, that was funny! Hey, maybe the Gnome mat will scare away door-to-door salesmen! Then again, it might convince them that “Hey, she bought THAT thing, then she’ll definatel buy what I’m selling!”

  3. Traci says:

    I wish I would have known about that waist extender before I purchased useless low-rise maternity jeans. I wonder if I used two of the extenders if I could get ten inches out the waistbands?

    I’d also be interested in knowing the other requirements for being a crafty hostess…

    And you are right! The exclamations points! are everywhere! But of course very strategically placed! To get us excited about the products! Love it!

  4. Stephanie says:

    Hanging with the gnomies, eh?

    Count me in!

  5. RGLHM says:

    Oh my! Those are hilarious!

  6. Melissa says:

    LOL – too funny! Now, where can I get a copy of this thing?

  7. Eve says:

    I’m glad you provided the link because I was skeptical that they really said hangin’ with the ‘gnome-ies!’ Wow! Now that’s entertainment.

  8. I love the waist extender! Thats great! I’ve seen it somewhere before, but I don’t think we need any more excuses to keep eating. “But honey, I can just stretch out my pants, no big deal! Now hand over the cheesecake!”

  9. Kimberly says:

    Okay, most of those I laughed my head off at…but the waist extender?

    I saw that in a catalogue once.

    I almost ordered it.

  10. Heffalump says:

    The waist extender should come with a handy waist reducer (otherwise known as a belt) just in case you accidentally stretch your jeans out too far, or lose weight. Once you stretch them, I think they stay that way.
    I am not sure there are uglier door mats. I am going to do an internet search to find out!

  11. Mary C says:

    The tablecloth is just…frightening. And so is the bird feeder! Yikes!

  12. Sheena says:

    Now I know why you read that thing cover to cover!
    It is doggone amusing!
    Except for the pig tree….that’s scary…especially if it was at night!

  13. allysha says:

    It’s the pig tree feeder. Especially for you in the Northwest. Get one for every tree in your yard. Although there is a strong possibility it would freak out the neighborhood birds, and defeat the purpose…

  14. Beth says:

    Stop! Stop! I can’t breathe! Pant, pant, pant…..oh here I go again! Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaa!!! Stop it I tell you! I can’t stop laughing! Oh no! I’m falling off my chair!

  15. Mary says:

    Because nothing says, “Come and get it!” like:

    1. A pig-tree bird feeder


    2. A vinyl-lace-look-alike table “cloth”


  16. That is hilarious! Does the demonic pig keep squirrels out of the bird food?

  17. lindsay says:

    Did you get this idea from Inrareform.wordpress.com? They’ve been doing these for a while and are great!

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