Reversion

When I stay at my parents’ house, something happens to me.

I find myself searching the fridge, freezer and cupboards for any special food I may be able to consume at no cost to myself.

Although I do far less cleaning here, I do it with a greater sense of pride and magnanimity. “My mom is gonna be so proud of me that I cleaned up… my own breakfast dishes.” Yesterday I even lent a hand and helped fold the last of 10 loads of laundry my mom was working on. I really do deserve a gold star. How she and my dad generate that amount of dirty clothes is beyond me.

All of mine and my kids’ clothes magically clean and fold themselves when we’re here. It’s freaky but I think I like it.

This morning my mom headed out to a quilting class and she asked if I’d be okay without her. It made me pause. “Yeah… I think I could watch the kids for a couple of hours. When will you be home?”

While she was gone, I had to change a poo-splosion, make two meals by myself, help my dad supervise outdoor play AND press play on the DVD player… TWICE! She’s back now, reading stories to the kids so I can finally relax.

She and my dad were both out when two little kids came to the door selling chocolate bars for their softball team. It took every bit of strength I possessed to suck the words back in before they were out of my mouth, “I’m sorry. My mom’s not home right now. Maybe you could try again later.” I imagined the looks on their faces as they noticed that I was probably older than their mom.

I imagined my parents’ house getting a large red X on the child-labor-law-breaking solicitor maps, being labeled as those people who spit on the neighbor kids’ pigtails as they throw their chocolate bars back in their face. Not wanting them to go down like that, I went ahead and purchased some premium dark mint chocolate… for the good of the town.

I may even eat it later, unless I have to babysit these kids again.

This entry was posted in all about me, aspirations, domesticality, family fun. Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Reversion

  1. Bless you for selflessly sticking your nose out for the good of the town. You can send some of that goodness my way, if you want. They must have missed my house. Or my town. I do the fridge thing too, at my mom’s house, my dad’s house, and even my mother-in-law’s house. That way I get a balanced and varied diet.

  2. Liz says:

    NO KIDDING! When my parents are here to visit me, I am whippin g out the credit card to treat them to dinner, whatever, but when I’m there, I LOOK THE OTHER WAY and pretend not to see when the bill comes, and still expect at least one homecooked meal. Pathetic, huh?

  3. heather says:

    You’ve got to love Grandma & Grandpa’s house! My MIL magically finds washes and folds my clothes before I even know they are missing!

  4. Millie says:

    Wow, does that sound familiar… even with my five kids. “Mom, I’m much too interested in watching reruns on your TV to lift a finger in feeding MY children. But you have fun with that.”

    Pssst, you have a surprise coming in the mail soon… one that WON’T explode.

  5. This post? Classic DYM. Funny and wry. Love it.

  6. Mary C says:

    Hilarious, as always. I do that when I am at my mom’s, too. I feel the need to recount for her in great detail the things I did. Like, “Well, I’ve rinsed all the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, packed up the leftovers, and wiped down the counters!.” And when I don’t get the “Oh my WORD! You did all that ALL BY YOURSELF??? Amazing! What a big girl you are!” I have to say, I am slightly disappointed.

  7. geminishadow says:

    Moms are great aren’t they. My mom comes and stays with at least once a month, whenever she does I find myself lapsing into childhood myself, not wanting to be resposible for my child anymore, I let her feed the baby and change the baby and bath the baby. She loves it though. I wonder If I will e=be that great with my own grandchildren, but of course, I don’t want to think of having grandchildren yet thats to scary

  8. Kimberly says:

    That was such a perfect example of funny because it’s true. Don’t worry, you’re not the only gal who regresses whenever she visits her mom and pop. I could tell you horror stories of when I went to stay with my parents right before having my second baby. I shudder at the mere memory!

  9. smcarney says:

    Well, heck, what is “HOME” for anyway? I sure like visiting grandparents just because they like to entertain my monsters… uh kids.

  10. Farm Wife says:

    It is so nice to hear I’m not the only one who totally reverts to my14 year old self at home. Cook? Ha. Laundry? Why? Clean up after my kids? Yea right. And don’t even get me started with the babysittting situation. My dad will ask what’s going on today to be told, “You’re watcing the kids while I___________________ (insert usless activity here).” It’s wonderful!

  11. Barb says:

    It’s like I wrote this post, only it turned out funnier and better articulated than I would have done. I totaly revert when I go home. It’s the best. Makes me jealous of my own children who get to be taken care of all the time.

  12. Ha! So funny! EXACTLY what I do when I go home to my parents. Thanks for giving me a laugh when I needed it

  13. Jen says:

    Funny! I act the same way when I am home. When I’ve gained 5 lbs in 5 days from eating ice cream and oreos for breakfast, I know it’s time to pack the kiddies up and find a flight back home!

  14. Jennifer says:

    Seriously? I dpn’t have to do our laundry when we visit grandma and grandpa? That’s aewsome! I’m sending my mom a link to this story so she knows what I expect when we go visit for Easter! Bwaa ha ha ha

  15. Eve says:

    I always regress when mom’s around. It can’t be helped! I’m home now from my vaca! I can’t believe you drove out there by yourself and you still have to drive home. Ugh. Just be back for bookclub!

  16. RGLHM says:

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Oh you are so great! And I totally concur with Barb’s comment…could have been my post but you wrote it so much better than I ever could have.

  17. MrsLady says:

    That’s amazing that you have parents that are that way. My parent’s motto is “we already raised our kids-look! they have kids of their own to be taking care of!” not that my parents don’t LOVE my son, or me for that matter, just that my parents “responsibility” lessons never end-so that pretty much nixs the whole parents watching my kids thing, even while we’re visiting. If I have to go to the store for a second it’s okay. If I’m watching tv then it’s “you’re the mom-do something”. And if I asked my parents to do my laundry they would just laugh at me. and laugh. and laugh…..and laugh….

    I still have full access to their fridge though. I wish it weren’t 8 hours away-my step mom is a GREAT cook!

  18. Melissa says:

    Sounds like your having a fabulous time 🙂 Enjoy!! lol

  19. nicole says:

    I’m headed to my parents’ house in April with my girls. I’m not sure about the flight (from Alaska to Chicago), but I know once I’m there auntie and grandparents will give me a break too. Your parents are lucky to have you buying chocolate in their stead.

    Also—a big belated thank you for selecting me for the write away contest.

  20. Trivial Mom says:

    Same thing happens to me at my mom’s house. And she’s happy to take care of me when she can. I love Moms

  21. Tee hee. Was it Beanie’s poo-splosion? 🙂

  22. Beth....you know me.... says:

    I still feel like a kid sometimes at my Mom’s house and she lives in town. I still look for the coaster because the rules have not changed at all!

  23. EmLouisa says:

    Dude. Your parents house sounds like heaven. And I am totally laughing about the candy bar thing. You are oh so cool.

  24. Natalie says:

    Yes, I began to realize I wasn’t on top of things at my mom’s house when we came home and all I wanted to do was sit around and stare at the kids.
    It’s like, come on! You “take care” of yourselves at Gramma’s house, why not here?
    I get home from the grandparents and suddenly find that I’ve forgotten how to do dishes and housework in general… and who’s kids are these anyway?
    Yeah, I think we all know this song and dance.

  25. Stephanie says:

    I am SOOO the same way at home.

  26. Nettie says:

    My MIL just left this morning after providing me with a week long “babymoon”. I’m definitely going to miss the magical laundry and dishwashing. Although, its just not the same when it is MIL washing your underwear instead of your own mother.

  27. tutu says:

    eft this morning after providing me with a week long “babymoon”. I’m definitely going to miss the magical laundry and dishwashing. Although, its just not the same when it is MIL washing your underwear instead of your

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