NoI’mNot YesYouAre

I was recently babysitting for a friend’s daughter, an adorable little 2-year-old elf who can spell her 3-syllable last name perfectly.   She reminds me of a corporate executive in miniature with bulbous pig-tale buns, marching around the house and calling me by my last name. 

“Thompson!  Excuse me! What does this toy do?”

“Hey THOMPSON!  Excuse me! Where are you?”

I spent the morning laughing at her polite attempts at dictatorship and asking her to spell things and coach Magoo at football.

At one point she and Magoo got into a tiff about something in which one was yelling yes and the other was yelling no.  They stood about 5 inches apart, hollering at each other until they forgot whose job it was to say “yes” and who was rooting for “no” to win. 

Half an hour later, I was called onto the field or into the boardroom or whatever. 

sippin' sodaOlive: Thompson!  Who’s in that picture?”
Me: Me and Laylee’s Dad.
Olive: What are you doing?
Me:  We’re drinking soda.
Olive:  But what are you doing, Thompson?
Me:  Drinking soda.
Olive:  No.  You’re kissing.
Me:  No we’re not.
Olive:  Yes.  You’re kissing.
Me:  No. [pulling the picture down]  See, we’re just drinking soda from two straws that are very close together.
Olive [eyeing the photo suspiciously]:  O-kaaay.

Then she was off with purposeful steps, her hair bouncing sweetly behind her.  My word! I need to get me a kid like that.  Acutally, I don’t need a kid like that.  I think I would die from the cuteness. 

Then Laylee punched her in the face.  I really hope her mom doesn’t mind large red facial welts.  She could have fallen asleep on her arm.  Sometimes that leaves a mark.  Ayayay.

I do want to point out my favorite parts of this picture, the parts no one notices, the reasons I still keep it framed in my front room.


#1 — The tadpole — This picture was taken right after I peed on a stick, saw a double pink line for the first time and announced it to my entire family.  What could be more romantic than that?  I bet you’d share a soda in public too if it happened to you.

what the?

#2 — This guy — He would not share a soda.  I love the horrified look on his face.  “Are they kissing?  At an outdoor theater?  Does this lawn chair come with a vomit receptacle?”

I now close my eyes tightly, throw a penny in our backyard puddle and wish that guy was available to make facial commentary in the background of all our family photos. 

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21 Responses to NoI’mNot YesYouAre

  1. Heth says:

    That is flippin’ hilarious.

  2. I hope Laylee and Olive get along, otherwise the wedding is off. I mean the Kingston/Thompson wedding in approximately 20 years. Because Noah is EXACTLY like that Olive child. My post for today is “A despot is born. Or maybe a CEO.” Dictatorship appears to be in my future for the next little while.
    And I love the guy in the photo. He’s the perfect geezer.

  3. Karly says:

    Love that she calls you by your last name. Too funny.

  4. Anne/kq says:

    That is entirely amusing– both the post and the photo.

  5. grammyelin says:

    I love that picture. It was a happy evening for all of us – with the possible exception of the sour-type geezer.

  6. mimi says:

    Are you at the Scera Shell outdoor theatre?

  7. Jen says:

    She punched her??? I just about spit out my coffee when I read that!

  8. Leslie says:

    Yeah, well, if you’re just drinking, how come your eyes are closed? Looks like kissing to me.

  9. Mama G says:

    Hillarious! Can spell her last name at two? WOW … very impressive!

  10. “Does this lawn chair come with a vomit receptacle”… LOL. How handy would THAT come in at outdoor theaters?

    You may have been “sharing a soda”, but I think you were really thinking about kissing.

  11. KYouell says:

    Ah, a photo with a tadpole. I’m going to have to dig through our photos of our “wedding celebration picnic” because on that day (3 months after our out-of-town wedding) we were the only ones who know I had a Biscuit in the oven. I want a photo with a secret hanging in my front room!

  12. Pops says:

    Hey! Isn’t that old geezer me?!?

  13. Pam in Utah says:

    Aren’t you glad we live in the age of technology! ie, PHOTOSHOP!!! If you want, I know someone who knows someone who you know (!) who could alter that any ol which way you’d like! You could actually make him look like your best friend! How funny, just like that, though.

  14. Sketchy says:

    THOMPSON…good post.

    LOL about the guy in the background though. Seriously funny!

  15. Julie Q. says:

    How romantic. That photo reminds me of the kind of courtship my grandma used to call “spooning.” (Of course if you were still courting and didn’t have the ring on your finger but did have a bun in the oven, my grandma would be appalled.)

    Maybe the dude is remembering his old spooning days and he’s just jealous.

  16. Stephanie says:

    Love the background guy. I have a bunch of pictures from DC with a man in the back named Grandpa Roy. (It said it on his jacket.)

  17. bon says:

    I want that guy for OUR family photos!

  18. You are hilarious, and I so remember that lovely night! 🙂 Hey Thompson! 🙂

  19. Lei says:

    Thta picture captures such an endearing moment! Very sweet. Now you’ve got me wanting to look at background people in all my own pictures. Lol.

  20. Oh good night that was funny down to the last word!

  21. jeana says:

    This is so sweet and cute and adorable that it almost makes me want to vomit but not quite so really it’s perfect.

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