Dan and I are rounding out 5 years of wedded bliss, and wedded bliss it has been, lassies. I love him dearly. Every once in a while I like to look back and remember our first kiss, a kiss which I will describe for you now.
Dan kept me waiting quite a while before he kissed me the first time. We’d been dating for a while and seeing each other every single day and I was liking him greatly. But there was the waiting. At the time I wondered why. Did I have bad breath? Weren’t my lips kissable? Was he not man enough to offer up the smoochage?
Well, my friends. He was man enough. One evening I was upset about something, possibly aggravated by the lack of action I was experiencing. We drove around talking things out and finally ended up back at my apartment. I told him goodnight and opened the door of the car.Â
Dan:Â Don’t go yet. Becau–
And mid sentence, mid WORD, he grabbed me back into the car and planted on me the most tender kiss I had ever had. I still remember the warm tingly feeling that started down my face and neck as I got out of the car. By the time I entered my apartment, the tingling had spread to my legs and I collapsed on the floor in a heap.
5 years later our relationship has grown and changed in some really excellent ways, but every once in a while I think, “Isn’t it sad that I’ll never experience that first kiss again?”Â
Today I want ideas for how to spice things up with your main shmoop.
Here are a couple of ideas that have worked nicely for us:
1. Buy him Whoppers… or some favorite special treat. Sneak it into his car with a cute note or just have them out at a random time. This especially works well if he knows that you think his favorite special treat is icky.
2. Re-enact your first kiss. Set the whole scene, the car, the music, the TommyGirl perfume, and act it out like it was the first time. This may not feel exactly like the first time, but it is uber romantico if you can stop laughing long enough to actually carry it off.
3. Go to his place of business, search through the 4 levels of parking in his massive building complex, find his car and cover it with post-it love notes.
4. Squeeze into one of the outfits you wore when you were first dating. Read an old journal together, probably yours. His probably talks more about the great pastrami sandwich he had for lunch and less about the romantic way you were playing footsies under the table at the CougarEat.
5. Leave a romantic message on his cell-phone voicemail. Don’t leave it on his work voicemail in case of speakerphone, call monitoring or excessive blushing during a business meeting.
6. If you’re going out of town, leave a giant life-sized picture of your floating head on your pillow. This is actually the reason I took the DYM floating head picture, to remind Dan of me while I was away in London. I cut it out and put it on the pillow and I looked so attractive as a floating head, that I have remained that way ever since. True story.
Please leave your comments and suggestions.Â
Comment moderation is off now, so if your idea is appropriate for my teenage sister’s tender eyes to read, feel free to leave it on the site. If it’s appropriate for grown-ups only, email it and I will save it away in my “special” file.
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Woo-hoo, I’m first!
I was going to say re-enact that first kiss, too–we do that all the time.
Also, send lots of pg-13 rated e-mails to his office. Maybe even a few R ones.
And um…well, all the rest of my ideas aren’t teenager-friendly.
Heh, heh.
wow … either I really am the first commenter or everyone else has lots of good secret ideas that I’ll never know about because Kathryn has a teenage sister … hmmm
Take a nice long drive to nowhere and smooch in a parking lot like it was your last time you’d ever see each other. That’s rather fun, ‘specially if you get caught by a police officer and have to ‘splain that yes indeedy it is consensual and you have been married for 7 years for the love of cheese.
Yowza!!! What adorable pictures.
Our first kiss was at the cemetery in Richland, Washington… yeah, it’s a cemetery, but there’s this darling little pond where two swans reside, and on a moonlit night, it’s gorgeous for smooching. Not that I had prior knowledge of this. I heard bells chime the first time I kissed him, seriously. I really wish I could experience that again, too.
If I had any tips for kissing NOW, it would be from a married chick’s perspective, and the best advice I can offer is “Kiss more often.” I think we forget how much fun it is. Plan some good make out time. (Hope that’s not too racy.)
Every once in a while, I mail my husband a thank you note/love letter. He’s the one who picks up the mail every day and he’s usually read it by the time he gets back to our apartment. He spends the rest of the evening all smiley and helps out with all the mundane mom things that I usually take care of myself!
I love hearing the history of the floating head. What a fun wife you are!
One night when we were dating, we hung out in DH’s car where he sang me a bunch of songs as I sat wrapped in his arms. It was so romantic. When we were still going to the U, he’d find where I parked my car and put a cassette tape (yes, I’m ancient) in so it would start playing one of those songs for me when I would start the car. It always made my day.
I think doing small thoughtful things for each other (like making him hot chocolate from scratch in the SUMMER because he really likes it) or an unexpected back rub are important, and don’t take much more than remembering to do them. I also think continuing to date is key. Even when you have little ones and it is a huge hassle arranging babysitting. You really need time together just as a couple.
Happy Anniversary!
Congratulations on making it this far! My husband and I just had our 5-year anniversary (as my husband calls it, “the fiver”) a week and a half ago. It feels good, doesn’t it? It sounds like you’ve found great ways to keep your lovin’ going strong.
Here’s a great idea I stole from my friend: Hot Dog Night. One night per month, put the kids to bed a little early. If they’re old enough to get by without a nap in the afternoon, skip the nap so they’re good and tired by 7 p.m. or so. Don’t fix dinner for them; just give them a special treat–hot dogs. Instead put your energy into fixing a special meal for you and your husband. When the kids go to bed, the candles and romantic dinner come out. We recently did this and it was lovely.
P.S. Adorable pictures of you and your husband!
Way cute pictures of you guys!
With 5 kids and busy schedules, we don’t often have time for ourselves, but we try to get in a date once every couple of weeks. Nothing fancy, usually just dinner or a movie. Sometimes it’s a trip to Home Depot–How romantic!
As far as keeping the relationship on the good side, I try really hard not to nag. It’s one of the things I still need work on, but it hardly makes him want to come home and take me in his arms when he knows I’m just going to nag him about his messy office, unfolded laundry pile, or lawn that needs to be mowed.
I cook his favorite dinners every once in a while, and we do like the surprises. For my 1/2 birthday he surprised me with a night out, and I hadn’t expected that at all. I compliment him on the things he does well, and try to thank him when he does something to help me out (like housework).
He seems to still love and want me after all these years, added weight and post pregnancy sagging. So I’ll just love him back.
Boy, am I watching this thread. Who would have thought that the mother of 8 needs help here? But when my memory is so bad I can hardly remember my own children’s names, how in the world can I be expected to know Hubby’s favorite treats? He’s lucky I know who he is when he comes home after 12 hours. That’s proof that I’ve been thinking of him throughout the day.
Lovely photos — were they taken recently?
Ahhh! so sweet. I am going to try that floating head thing.
This is a hard one because there are things I would say to a close girlfriend that I don’t neccessarily want to put out on the internet, but you guys are doing great.
Andrea – the pictures were taken 5 years ago for our engagement photo shoot to have something to send out with our announcements.
Tell him he’s your hero. My guy just melts into the floor when I tell him that.
Also–try to tidy it up a bit. I know it’s hard with kids, but my hubby is ever so appreciative of a clean, decluttered home.
Shave your legs and dress up in a skirt once in a while, and put on makeup. When I take the time to look my best, I feel better and my husband feels like the luckiest man on earth.
Believe it or not, my huband feels loved when the kitchen it clean. Hard to believe we have made it 18.8 years with the state my kitchen is usually in!
There is also something about laughing really hard together. Like you are the only two who really get the joke. Not that’s romantic!
Loved the pictures. I don’t think I’ve ever commented here before, but I really enjoy your blog.
Anywhoo, I just finished reading the book, “Strangling your husband is not an option” by Merilee Boyack. She has some really good ideas for loving your hubby and not letting the years take their toll on your marriage. We will be celebrating 9 years this December and I can honestly say that I love him more now than I did then. It takes work and love and patience. Thanks for all the good ideas!
i just have to second the dating idea; it helps so you have time to have fun together. let him choose the movie. we go to the dollar movie so we can go more often.
also, ask him about his hobbies or his work; try to understand it if it’s something you don’t already. compliment him on things he’s done or fixed. that’s all i can think of. i’m enjoying reading these ideas!
It’s hard after you have kids, to make sparks or magic happen, or to feel weak in the knees when you have a child grabbing at your legs during the welcome home hug and kiss.
So my suggestion is have a date night, if not once a week at least once a month, something to look forward too. I know you used to do a dinner co-op (don’t know if you still do after the move), but some of my friends and I have talked about a babysitting co-op, so we can all get our dates in. So when you do have your date night, spend extra time getting ready. So he could drop the kids off and you could get ready, and he could pick you up like when you first starting dating.
Also if that doesn’t work, just lay on the couch together and watch a movie after the kids go to bed, and then start into a kising fest.
Thanks for posting about this, I’m sure it will help all of us to add new romance and excitement to what has become ordinary to us.
The first time we kissed, we smashed our teeth together. Future kisses were MUCH better!
We hold hands whenever we can – often while mutually pushing the stroller and each holding a kid’s hand with our spares. And I’m still a big fan of the mixed tape (now CD) of songs he loves mixed with luv songs. If it worked in high school, it will work now that we are so very, very old.
I’ve also been known to make my husband valentines any time of the year and hide them in his work lunch or on the steering wheel.
Delurking!
I whisper in his ear how hot he is, and how he makes me feel, what parts of him I love the most (his shoulders!), how muscular he is, he just loves that flattery, and suprisingly, saying those things makes me think again about how I felt when we met, and how much I love him…it gives us both tingly feelings. I love the suggestion (above) to tell him that he’s your hero.
Oh, and making out in the car in his parent’s driveway is good too, especially if we pretend we’re not married and it’s still a naughty thing to do!
May 19th is our anniversary, and so (usually) every month we at least acknowledge that day by saying “happy 19th!” Sometimes we celebrate how many months we’ve been married. It’s a good reason to have a more special (read: expensive!) night out. One of my favorites was for our 53rd month (I don’t actually remember which # we were at…) of marriage I took little lifesaver mints and taped them to cards with the numbers 1-53 and on the last one it said “wanna spark?”
Ben sends me postcards from the city on occasion, and when I was 9 months pregnant and needed a diversion he would pick up a book for me on the dollar rack at the bookstore every few days and bring it home for me. I loved the gesture (and most of the books)!
Gorgeous photos! I’m kind of weak in the romance ideas area right now. My husband and I haven’t been on a “date” in quite a while. I think you just inspired me to call a sitter.
5 year old photos are just gorgeous!
For a Christmas gift one year, I went a purchased a red leather small photo album. Inside it I put in some of my favorite pictures of Mr. Right, Mr. Right and me, Mr. Right and the kids, the kids… you get the idea. Then on the open spots in the album (the slots that I didn’t fill with pictures), I printed and cut to fit papers that listed things I love about Mr. Right. He still opens it and marvels at the beauty I see in him to this very day.
Go for a walk holding hands.
Watch one of his movies.
Read a book together.
Make a point of reaching for him whenever he is close.
Look him in the eyes and tell him why you feel blessed that he is yours.
Well unlike you, I got tired of waiting and as I was getting out of the car after a date one night, I turned to him and said, “You know, you can kiss me if you want.” He’s never let me forget that.
Nice smoochka! And great photos.
Wrap your arms around him while taking a motorcycle ride.
Don’t say no, or ‘I have a headache’.
You are a patient woman. I attacked my husband on our first date because I couldn’t wait any longer for that first kiss!
Finding the romance gets very difficult after children. 12 years and two kids later, when we had a night away from them, we fell asleep. Not that I’m complaining. It was my first full night’s rest in four years and it was fabulous!
Anyway, one romantic thing we have done is just lay next to each other and touch and caress without touching private areas and without kissing. It’s very intimate, and it really gets the [romance] flowing! (Was that clean enough to make the cut? 😉
Congratulations. Enjoy each kiss. They are all special with the one you adore.
For 4 evenings, spend a lot of time together being physically affectionate, but obeying the strictest pre-marital dating rules. Then enjoy evening 5.
LOVE this post and LOVE the pictures! You’re so adorable- both of you!
I really like those suggestions…I’m trying to think of a treat I think is icky but he loves…all I can think of is Top Ramen, and if I leave it out, kinda looks like it blends in with the rest of the mess at the moment.
Seriously…I’m a romantic at heart and this was so fun to read!
I have no ideas that are appropriate for sharing with teenage eyes. But I did want to say, Happy Anniversary.
You two are adorable. And I believe in Dan.
Also is your “special” file really the garbage can?
Oh my LORD I have no suggestions because, clearly, I suck at romance. (Here’s my tip: Break up with the love of your life! And then! Use mind control to get him to come back to you on hands and knees just two short years later!) (Hey, I TOLD you I had no tips.)
However, you and Dan are so adorable it HURTS.
Congratulations on five years! My wonderful husband and I just celebrated out fifth year together and I would have to say that the most romantic thing that we still do for each other is to have the special little treats around. Five years later, he’s still a sucker for a frappucino and elk jerkey (only in the Pacific Northwest).
Get a sitter and “kidnap” him for an evening at a hotel. Some inexpensive ideas: have family take the kids and plan to do something fun but don’t tell him what it is and dress inappropriately. (formal bowling, a dress at a gun range) Another fun one is to dress up and take a linen table cloth and plastic wine glasses for a dinner at Mcdonalds. Don’t use candles…..they freak out. Find his car at work and fill it with balloons and put hershey kisses on the dash board with a naughty card. Send a large flower arrangement to his work with a “thanks for last night” card….he will be the talk of the watercooler. Congratulations on your 5 yrs….We just celebrated our 15th year and it just gets better!
We used to put the kids to bed early and have a date night at home–That’s a little more difficult now that the older children can tell time. Trading babysitting doesn’t work as well as it used to, either (now that we have more than a couple children). But date nights are essential, so, at the risk of being a little off-topic, I’ll pass on some advice from my husband’s grandmother:
You can pay for the babysitter now or the marriage counselor later!
Then enjoy all the creative idea above!
I used to stash slightly naughty Hallmark cards in his briefcase or law book or whatever I knew he was taking to work/school that day. He would find them in the middle of the day, and have a good laugh.
I also try really, really REALLY hard not to dump life on him the moment he walks in the door. I try to make sure we all hug and kiss Dad, let him sit down and decompress before I say, “AACK!” I’m not always successful, but things always go better if Dad has a chance to unwind for at least 10 minutes. Also, I know it sounds way 1950’s women are slavish, but DH genuinely loves it when I actually have dinner ready, table set and everything, right when he comes home. That way, he can decompress AND eat. It’s a great combination, and then I don’t feel guilty for leaving him with the dishes and the boy while I collapse in the bedroom with my trashy novel and some alone time.
I’m trying hard these days to limit the “not tonight, Honey”s to times when I’m really exhausted. Turns out, my attitude changes pretty quickly after we spend some “time” together!
It’s funny… but one of the bestest thing that I can do for the Dadguy it let him make me happy. If a guy feels that he’s making his squeeze happy, it makes him feel like a HERO and like a SUCCESSFUL MAN. At least it works for my guy. He usually DOES anyhow… but some days when I am just a grumperkins, it helps matters out if I just let it go and laugh at the dad-jokes he’s telling just for my benefit, and just LIGHTEN UP!
Along the same vein, tell him what he does to make you happy. Tell him you are grateful for his… whatever it is he does.
VERY BIG deal? Ahem…. initiate…mmm… STUFF. Makes his day, week…whatever!
As soon as I saw your engagement pictures, I knew you were LDS. Crazy… Anyway, congrats on your anniversary! Hubby and I hit #6 in July.
You guys are way romantic. Thanks for the cool ideas.
How about… leaving schmoopy comments that say things like, “I love you. You are my best friend.” on your significant other’s blog. Hehehehe…