Not Much to See Here

Well, I try to cover it up most of the time.

We are really working on our religious punctuality right now. We have been really working on it for… going on 4 years. We improve a little and then we improve not so much at all. Then we slide back to “pathetic” on the scale of on-time-itude.

This morning I’m getting dressed for church, pretty much at the last possible second before we have to leave, and Dan looks at me incredulously and asks, “Are you dressing for church or are you getting ready for BlogHer?”

Well of course I was getting ready for BlogHer but I was getting ready for church at the same time, you know? The multitasking. The poor man thought I was trying on all of my carefully layed out conference clothing items for the fun of it right before we had to leave. This is not unfathomable but today I was not guilty of such a crime against punctuality and reason.

Today I wore the black dress I bought for BlogHer to church to test it out for any possible “wardrobe malfunctions.” I am a recently weaned nurser and… well… these things need to be tested when little black dresses enter the picture.

I know what you’re thinking — you test dresses for wardrobe malfunctions by wearing them to church? Yeah. It sounds strange to me too, now that I see it on the computer screen. Never fear. Everything stayed where it was supposed to stay, even with the mega-weaner doing his best to free the entrapped victuals from their black shackles.

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22 Responses to Not Much to See Here

  1. Glad you kept your food implements safely hidden at church!

  2. Abby says:

    I am excited that you are coming to the Bay for BlogHer!!
    Pack your sunscreen and a fan, along with your new dress because jiit has been pretty hot the last few days.
    But throw in a sweatshirt too, because if you go to San Francisco you will FREEZE! I hope you have a wonderful visit.
    (and if you want a great ward to attend if you’re here for the weekend let me know)

  3. Valarie says:

    I think that’s a perfectly reasonable question on his part, but that’s also something I would probably do. I mean, who needs to sing the opening song?

  4. Well, at least if there had been any malfunctions at church, people would still love you 🙂

    Have fun at BlogHer you cool Young Mom!

  5. Heather says:

    Thank you, thank you for always making me laugh!

    We are also working on the church punctuality thing. Arrived, um, WAY after the sacrament today. And it was my fault. Decided to iron a dress 5 minutes before we had to leave. Oops.

  6. Mel says:

    Ah, the joy of clothes which are impossible to nurse a baby while wearing! Enjoy!

  7. Kelly says:

    i hate when you wear something new, only to discover that it doesn’t stay where it is supposed to. good thinking, trying out new outfits at church!

  8. I was late too because I discovered (10 minutes before Church started) that my outfit didn’t match my 16 month old baby girl’s so I had to change. No. We never match. Except for last week on accident and it was so fun that it had to happen again today.

  9. Amber says:

    Ahhhh, I had a wardrobe malfunction of my own during a false alarm at the hospital last night. I put on one of their gowns and couldn’t figure why my arm was gaping out sleeveless, like a toga.

    Upon further inspection, I realized I had put it through one of the nursing holes that had been cut into that special gown of mine. Now THAT would’ve been a fashion statement.

  10. Chris says:

    You are too funny. I should really test my clothing too!

  11. Margaret says:

    COngratulations on adding “on-time-itude” to my vocabulary. I struggle with procrastination and punctuality as well. oh wait, no – I STRUGGLE with punctuality; procrastination I EXCEL at.

  12. emlouisa says:

    Um, pictures please.

    Congrats on the lack of wardrobe malfunction and on the weaning. Mason weaned as of last week, although he paws at me and causes all sorts of wardrobe malfunctions. ‘Tis lovely.

    I am looking foward to the day where I can where a dress and not a skirt and shirt. That’s when I will know I have arrived, baby.

  13. Jess says:

    Oh the struggles of “on-time-itude”. We switched yesterday to a brand new church building, and a brand new time–11:00! The coveted church starting time and we’ve got it! We did make it on time, thanks to the on-time-for-church-at-all-costs-Nazi, my husband. We even got to fill in for the nursury leaders and play with toys and dolls for 1/2 of the time–how much fun is that?

  14. Naddin J says:

    LOL @ entrapped victuals… nice visual. That was always a great day for me when I could once again entrap mine.

    We were late yesterday too. Sigh.

  15. jennster says:

    wait wait wait. you’re dressing UP for blogher?!?! like black dress, dressing up?!?!! good god, i’m going to have to rethink all my clothes now. lol

  16. bon says:

    We are hopefully gonna split our Ward this fall… every week they read in the membership records of AT LEAST three new families as they move in to their brand new mansions on high… in their brand new posh neighborhood, right next to our rock-bottom-starter-home neighborhood. The only way we stand a chance of sitting on a bench and thereby trapping the Chaos Girls in against a wall? We must arrive fifteen minutes early.

    The Chaos have been partying on the folding chairs lately, and the whole congregation finds THAT thrilling I’m sure.

  17. HLH says:

    may I give you a blogher goal? please on behalf of the rest of us who aren’t going. please please talk to jessica, we want very mom back. if necessary do somethign wildly stupid if nothing else than to giver her something to blog about so she’ll come back…


  18. Jennster – Seriously. I have no idea what to wear. I was sort of throwing that out there to see if anyone would tell me what they’re wearing. It’s a not-super-dressy Target black dress…possibly for the cocktails in the evening? I don’t know. I think people will be in anything from sweats to casual skirts for the daytime stuff? I’m just guessing on that but we’re bloggers so I figure there will be many geeks among us, right? If I dress somewhere in the middle… try to hide my geekiness…

    I’m thinking casual skirts or capris during the day if it stays this hot because there’s no way I’m making a first impression in shorts, thank you very much. Any thoughts?

  19. The words religious and punctuality should not ever be used in the same sentence. Ever.

  20. Shalee says:

    I want a picture of said black dress!

  21. Sketchy says:

    OK here is my problem with the whole church punctuality thing…and believe me it has gotten a lot better since my darling husband uttered the words “You are always so stressed out on Sunday, you really need to work on relaxing and getting yourself into a spiritual mood.” Or somthing like that…he might not remember it exactly like that to be fair. That was when the dam broke and a giant wall of gripes and complaints hit him smack upside the head. See we have 4 children, and when would he start getting ready for church? Oh with say enough time to barely get himself ready and jump in the car.

    Since said loosing of the dam waters things have gotten a bit better, but I still contend it is that the 4 offspring can largely get themselves ready now.

    Yes, I am so much more “spiritually prepared” now…

  22. Grammy says:

    I’m sure glad that nothing showed that should not have. Those churchy people can be quite prudish you know!

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