To Clarify

When I read about Piglet being blown away, I wonder what gauge weapon will be used and who will be wielding it. Eyeore seems the most unstable mentally, although Rabbit has shown himself capable of physical aggression in the past. Kanga is right out, but Roo wants so badly to fit in. Who’s to say that he’s not planning the job, maybe earn him some respect from the whole gang? They all made nice at the end of The Heffalump Movie but I think that book


is pretty solid evidence of the rising tide of violence in their little world. Christo-Robinizzle is too high up in the food chain to take anyone out himself. He’d undoubtedly use one of his henchmen. I don’t think it would be too hard to convince T-I-double-Guh-ER to “bounce” little pink, if you knowahmsayin’. After that whole forgery of documents and posing as a member of his long lost Tigger posse, in The Tigger Movie, our boy is not exactly right with Mr. T. At least the Pooh’s got his back… for now.

Got any theories, yo?

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41 Responses to To Clarify

  1. Margaret says:

    Remind me NEVER to conspire against you.

    Or play “Clue” with you.

    Or “Mafia.”

  2. meredith says:

    Tigger is a naughty tiger, he’s been caught in a lie before, he’s my suspect.

  3. Jeana says:

    Oh my word! I got the reference yesterday and thought that was funny. Reading this I could not stop laughing. Daring Young Mom waxes gangsta-esque. Izzle. YOu didn’t mention Owl, the brains of the posse. Maybe he’s still bitter after being called an egg-head in school. AND he’s the only one who knows how to write, so he could totally arrange it for hire. Or even mail-order an Uzzi. Which I could not, because I have no idea is I just spelled that right.

    And we know he has it in for Piglet, remember how he found that house for Eeyore and really it was Piglet’s house so then Piglet had to go mooch off of Pooh? After his plot to put Pinky on the street failed he was bound to have a vendetta.

  4. KEP says:

    Or Gopher? He seems to have a lot of pent-up aggression as well.

  5. Yeah I think gopher because he’s from the underground and stuff. He also looooves to blow stuff up! He’s the man to do the job!

  6. Peter says:

    I don’t trust any of them. They all seem a little bit off to me.

  7. Heth says:

    Another vote for Gopher. He gets a little crazy with the dynamite.

  8. You know, it’s always the quiet ones that break mamma’s heart. Do I dare say Pooh himself? sometimes it’s the one you’d least expect. He says he’s trying to help him keep from being “blown away,” I think we have a little O.J action here.

  9. Oh, where is Nantie Meg? I’m a little concerned! Haven’t heard from her since 4-26!

  10. Tess says:

    What Piglet didn’t know is when they were asking him what size shoes he wears, they were making a mold for his concrete shoes

  11. jess says:

    That little pig better watch his back, Dog. I’ve heard that OWL may be packing a little heat.

  12. melnel says:

    This is a scarey post for me, since I’ve always identified myself with piglet.

    The whole thing just leaves me with a feeling that someone is out to get me!

  13. Heather says:

    I’d have to go for Gopher. That gopher is one shady character.

  14. ABC Momma says:

    Rabbit–he’s always trying to get rid of little pests.

  15. Goslyn says:

    I’m going with Rabbit – I can’t believe ABC momma was the first to suggest him! He was my first pick, right off. He’s so anal-retentive. He’d probably off piglet just to get back at Pooh for getting stuck in his (rabbit’s) house. How’s that for vengence. Eat my hunny, I blow away your little buddy.

  16. Aunt Murry says:

    It was POOH! The dunb thing is all an act!!!!

  17. For the true aspiring gangsta: Gizoogle.

  18. Amy says:

    Somebody rent this woman a grown-up DVD and fast! 🙂

  19. Lei says:

    I have no idea what you are getting at… 😉 Lol. If only children’s entertainment WERE that interesting!

  20. Susan says:

    As I read this, I am sitting with my sick child watching the Book of Pooh video he picked out at the Blockbuster. You know, the Book of Pooh, where the characters are all computer rendered puppets.

    They look like a gang. And now I’m freaked out.

  21. Nettie says:

    Remember when Rabbit tried to lose Tigger in the woods? I think its him. But I wouldn’t rule out ‘Ol Cris Robbin. After all, he does head up the stairs, “draggin’ Pooh behind him.” (That line always cracks my kids up!)

  22. Nettie says:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  23. Jeff says:

    It was the woozles.

  24. can’t. type. laughing. too. hard.

  25. All I can offer….is….



  26. Shalee says:!

    I think Eeyore will do everyone in… He’s like the Unibomber… all by himself, in a shack in the woods… you know the one who seems a little too down and then one day he can’t live with himself or anyone else anymore so at the next “Hooray for Pooh” party that Christopher throws, he pulls out a gunner and blows them all away, finally turning the weapon on himself.

    It’s messy, but everyone knows that he only had fluff for brains.

  27. elliespen says:

    Good. Grief.

    All y’all are forgetting that our Piglet can take care of himself. He manages to escape the flood, he foils any and all attempts to send him away on a kite, he evades a jagular (who now has got his back), he has that suspiciously abbreviated “Trespassers Will” sign above his house, he does NOT go missing in the mist, and (for those of you who have read the book) he bravely takes on Roo’s identity in the great kidnapping plot.

    I think EEYORE needs to watch his back more than my fine pink friend.

    It’s already started, actually. Remember when Piglet was being the kite? He managed to drag Pooh through Eeyore’s house of sticks and knock it down, while he gave Rabbit a hand by harvesting his carrots for him. Obviously Rabbit and Piglet are cronies, while Eeyore and Owl represent the opposing gang (Eeyore got even by giving Owl Piglet’s house) — and our bear of very little brain seems to be an unsuspecting pawn in this dangerous game.

  28. Hundred Acre Wood Mafia = Gopher

    Hey DYM, I’m glad you’re still alive
    and bloging away (because you know, I LOVE your blog).

    Now all we have to do is wait for your house NOT to fall down. Or Gopher to come git ya.

  29. helene says:

    Hi –Just delurking to invite you to add your tradecard to the Supermom Gallery

  30. EvaRob says:

    Agree with previous posters. It is SO Eeyore…he freaks me out….he’s such a downer in that crazy honey filled town.

  31. Dapoppins says:

    I drop by and see that there is a hit out on P-p-piglet!” I think it is Rabit, he is the one who tries to loose Tigger, he is also the one behind all the huffalump trap building and he has expierence battleing cops, or is that crops? He is a jittery bunny but he’s got the nerve…

  32. Lauren says:

    I can NOT even believe that Pooh and the gang went this bad in just the few years that I’ve stopped reading them to the kids. What’s this world coming to? *sigh*

  33. I am sitting here laughing So hard I got tears coming down my cheeks!
    I have got to say My theory says it is Eyore who has it out for piglet! He is so quiet, and I agree it is always the loners that are profiled on all the cop shows as maniac killers!

  34. Lianne says:

    Thank you for referring to the “real” Pooh and not Disney’s caricature of Pooh.

    I was thinking, wouldn’t it be funny to have Pooh Oracle Cards, or something. Everyday you could pull some “message” from them like:

    “Today looks like it holds trouble for you, you’d better stay home with your honey pot.”

    I’m thinking I might be on to something and I could make millions bastardizing A.A. Milne just like Disney!

    What a cynic I am!

  35. I wonder what gauge weapon will be used and who will be wielding it

    My theory? You’ve spent too much time with your brother…

  36. emlouisa says:

    Okay. Thanks for making me snort popcorn up my nose. Do you KNOW how painful that is?

  37. mwahaha! You are too hilarious!

  38. Anonymous says:

    Can’t beleive nobody has said it yet…

    wait for it….

    A frickin’ twelve-gauge what do you think!!! Gosh!!!


  39. LammyAnn says:

    COMMENT #40~~ Happy mother’s day to one of the greatest!
    (oh, and Love me some a.a.milne in gangstah)

  40. Pam in Utah says:

    Kathryn, Happy Mother’s Day to a most sweet and good mother. Funny, too. 🙂 Uh, yuup.

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