Who’s Your Daddy?

Laylee: Who’s your dad?
Me: Papa.
Laylee: Who’s my dad? (I promise her parentage is not in question.)
Me: Dan Daring
Laylee: So he’s your dad too.
Me: Nope he’s not.
Laylee: You and me are in the same family and he’s the dad so he’s your dad too. (Again, I promise…)

Laylee: I want to tweeze these few pears out of my chin.
Me: You don’t have any pears on your chin.
Laylee: Yes I do and I can’t find my tweezers. Can I borrow yours?

Laylee: Is daddy getting me ice cream?
Me: Yes.
Laylee: I want my ice cream cone.
Me: Oh. He’s getting you an ice cream sundae.
Laylee (hysterical): But I want some ice cream TODAY!

Laylee: Are we going to see Daddy at MegaCorp?
Me: Yes.
Laylee: It’s not called MegaCorp.
Me: Oh, really?
Laylee: Yeah. It’s called WORK-A-CORP! (giggling) Because you go there to WORK! Bwa-ha-ha-ha.

All of these conversations occurred today and I thought I’d share, for those of you not living with your own personal miniature comedienne.

Dan asked me later whether or not I went on to explain that there are two kinds of “sundaes,” one being a day of the week and the other a type of ice cream treat. I told him I didn’t have the energy to explain the intricacies of the wonderful world of homonyms this afternoon at McD’s.

I also did not have the energy or frankly the verbal skills to explain the concept of narcissism, and the fact that I don’t think the real Snow White suffers from it to the point of wanting to wear underpants bearing her own likeness.

My little “Snow White,” as she insists on being called, wants to wear the same pair of Snow White underwear every single day. Being a person over the age of three, I can foresee certain difficulties inherent in this course of action. I have explained all of these to her.

What I’d really like to say is, “Do you think Snow White is so narcissistic as to imprint her own smiling face on all of her underwear? No. She most likely has undies covered in little flowers, birdies or fields of grass.”

“Now the queen on the other hand… the queen would definitely wear wicked-queen-with-the-green-face underpants. She cares about no one but herself. Who would you rather be like?”

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36 Responses to Who’s Your Daddy?

  1. I am so lol right now. What a great lesson…are you the queen or Snow White…

    The family conversations…over Christmas we asked my oldest nephew who his aunts were…his response…one aunt, and his great aunt…when asked who I was he replied…you are Fafa…I have my own, special role…pretty cool.

    Any new thoughts for my shirt?

  2. Papa says:

    … And yet another reason why people stop having children at about the age of 40.. The older you get, the more difficult it is to follow the logic of a 3 year old. I wish we were closer so I could take her for walks and she might have a few of those conversations with me:

    Laylee: Papa, what was Mommy like when she was a little girl?

    Me: (In my mind) Where to start, where to start….Hmmmmm

  3. Heth says:

    Now THERE’s a solution families with lots of kids and our laundry issues. Just put the person’s FACE on their underwear and no question as to who they belong to. Thank you Laylee. Hee hee

  4. Sheri says:

    I love the “Sundae” comment. Poor thing, just wanted an icecream TODAY!

  5. Chris says:

    I love Heth’s idea.

    My daughter has the same thing going on with Barbie underwear. Luckily we have several pair with barbie’s face.

  6. Your face on the underwear! LOL…Heth has the best ideas!

    Kathryn, this is great. You are going to have a book full of funny stories by the time that girl is a teenager.

  7. Goslyn says:

    HA HA HA HA HA. She’s got a spot on Comedy Central. Your own little stand-up comedienne.

    So what is the solution to the underwear issue? I know you worked out a solution about the dress ….
    but I’m doubtful the same one would work for undies.

    Good luck. And she’s SO cute.

  8. Peter says:

    My little girl is cinderella

  9. GiBee says:

    Shannon — Snow White is going to have underwear with her face on it when she’s a teenager… Think about that for a sec!?! Who cares about the book!!!

  10. Karen says:

    THIS is the very reason we blog.

    I love Laylee. I love her so.

  11. Margaret says:

    When my niece was 4 or 5 we went through the drive in at Wendy’s for “milkshakes.”

    My sister: We’d like 3 small Frosty’s.

    My niece, panic-stricken in the back seat: AND A MILKSHAKE!!

    Kids are SO cute!

  12. Tigersue says:

    I love kids, they can be so funny. When my Son was about 3 or 4 and my sister was living with us, we were talking about making some kind of ‘squares”, he said, “What about circles”?

  13. bon says:

    yer picture on yer underpants! We may be needing that in about 6 months when LaLa potty trains…

    gadzooks that’s a lot of panties! but at least pictures and prints come standard on little girl panties, so maybe I can buy a different brand for her. I can’t imagine three little boys in tighty-whities, how would you ever know if you DIDN’T put their pix on ’em?

  14. Lei says:

    Work-a-corp… rofl. Out of the mouths of babes!!!

  15. HolyMama! says:

    laylee. is. hilarious.

  16. smartmama says:

    i’d like sundaes more if sundaes we always involved

  17. Amber says:

    Cute! Random question- do you have a daring sister who lives n North Las Vegas?

  18. Alissa says:

    tell Laylee if she finds her tweezers I have a couple of Pears in my eyebrows that need her powers.

    Also, my daughter told me the other day that I should never Choose the Left (as opposed to the Right).

  19. californiazenmom says:

    K: I’m seeing an untapped market here for “daring young progeny” or “daring young pixie” or “daring young princess” underwear. Why haven’t you thought of this already??

    My oldest (organized, pensive, rule-driven) used to organize her underwear according to how much she liked the princesses (Ariel first, then Belle…it’s been too long to remember the exact order of the lesser princesses).

    Now my youngest (aka Big Moses) chooses pants by how many “light saber holders” (otherwise known as belt loops or carpenter-style-pants-side-hammer-holders) they have. To each his/her own fantasy. 🙂

  20. Grammy says:

    Man, I am amused all the way from here. Laylee is hysterical – just like you were at her age. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I haven’t been bored since the day you were born. These conversaions are priceless. I wish I had written this stuff down when you kids were little.

  21. emlouisa says:

    She is too cute!

    And while we are talking All Things Cute about our kids, my 2 year old was watching a show today that mentioned Tiki Beach. He said, “Mom! Tiki Peach!” and did the sign for peach. Sooo cute.

  22. Lauren says:

    Can I borrow the little darling for a bit, I could use the laughs.

  23. Bobita says:

    I have a Sleeping Beauty!! 🙂

    I was visiting a colleague in her office yesterday, my princess with me…my colleague has a little box of toys for such occassions. My little girl was having a wonderful time playing with the toys as we women talked and talked. When it came time to go, my little girl had gathered up all of the princesses: Ariel, Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella…she had them all clutched to her chest. When I told her that it was time to go…and to put the princesses back in the box…she looked at me, horrified!

    “I can’t leave the sisters! They NEED me!”


  24. HLH says:

    FUNNY conversations! I should start writing dow my little guys questions and comments! Very fun to read, thank for sharing!

  25. Lena says:

    So funny! I love it! Their thinking IS frighteningly logical don’t you think?

    My daughter has days of the week underwear. I WILL NEVER buy these again! I so enjoy rooting through the laundry looking for Tuesday. >:|

  26. This is the best post ever, and I am giddy that you shared. It blows me away what she comes up with.

  27. Linsey says:

    Holy Cow she is cute!!!!

  28. Recently my child said, “Mom, where’s Miami? I replied, “Florida”. He then asked, “Where’s “Your Ami”?

  29. Pam in Utah says:

    You do have the cutest kids. Wish we were closer, too. 🙂

  30. Kim C. says:

    This is too good to pass up! Just thought I’d give you fair warning that I’m stealing it for my carnival.

  31. But I want some ice cream TODAY!

    Kathryn, love love love your blog!
    Thanks for sharing your lists, tips and cute anecdotes 🙂

  32. Michael says:

    Kids are fun, and give us a laugh and a smile when we most need it. You’re a brave one to analyze the faces on underpants, do you think they know the design before they sign the paper? Okay I won’t get too deep…Have a good day and I like the humor…(Tigersue’s hubby)

  33. Gala says:

    I have a Scooby-Doo. I remember when my daughter was that age, same thing. She is now 7 and the talking is lasting longer. I do like her talking to me (I am more on the quite side) although I must admit, I do tune her out sometimes…

  34. Karen says:

    Ah, wait for it. My sister started tweezing Bummy’s chin hairs when she was ten. Every time we got in the car, it was always, “Katie, before you buckle up, can you get over here and get my whiskers? Bummy can’t see them all.”

    It didn’t stop until she moved out. Bummy’s looking pretty whiskery these days.

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