Doctors = No More Please

Phew! I made it through our medical marathon with nary a tardy on the family chart. In the past 2 weeks, we’ve been to the pediatrician 6 times, the ER twice, and a little visit with my therapist, just for a boost.

I also got a boost in the form of an Immunity Boost at Jamba Juice. When they asked me which type of “free” boost I wanted (I love when they call something free when you just paid $4 for some whipped bananas and pineapple sherbet), I asked myself the same question I always ask when faced with a major decision in life — What would I do if I were on Survivor?

Fiber? Protien? I don’t think so. Immunity please.

Well, they can take their Immunity Boost and gently place it where the wheat grass don’t grow because I’ve been fighting a raging head and chest cold for three days. (I was actually sick when I got the Jamba Juice and sort of hoping it would act as a life restoring elixir so I do not blame Jamba Juice or any of their subsidiaries for the large chunks of phlegm currently lodged in my body cavity.)

You’ve already heard about the ER visits and subsequent checkups so let’s give the HIPAA people a heart attack and divulge the rest of our medical history online.

Magoo’s 9 month checkup went well. He was so crazy, 90th percentile-like, and mobile during the visit that when the doctor left, she said “I’ll see you at his 15-month checkup.” I said, “Don’t you want to see us when he turns one in June?” She said she had completely forgotten that this wasn’t his 1 year checkup.

She recommended a book that she said contains a list of age-appropriate stages for boys, things that are annoying but “normal” because they’re male. It’s called The Wonder of Boys and I scored parenting brownie points by telling her I’d already picked it up at a garage sale for 50 cents but hadn’t gotten around to reading it yet. I think it’s time to start.

My therapist told me it was fine to bring Magoo to my appointment this week. I haven’t been in to see her in months and either he’s changed a lot or she’s recently filled her office with objects of chaos and destruction.

He pretty much ransacked the place, eating dirt from her plants, finding an old balloon to suck on, smacking a small fan on the ground, turning on the fan, unplugging the fan, turning the lights off and on by unplugging them and plugging them back in, drooling on furniture, emptying trashcans, etc. She was very sweet and said it didn’t bother her but that our sessions might be more productive without him. I would be less distracted. Um, yeah.

Today we finally had Laylee’s 3 year checkup. She weighs exactly 30 lbs and is just over 3 feet tall. She appears to like the number 3. She did not like the shot quite so much, so we went for some consolation ice cream.

It was at the beloved DQ where I gathered evidence for why I would be the best person to replace Shannon as the Blogger Who Most Makes You Want To Have Kids should she be unable to fulfill her obligations for any reason.

dq8Laylee was dressed as the Snow White (named in part for her white beard and mustache of ice cream) with bright orange psychedelic-print stretch pants underneath and pink clogs. Magoo was an avacado-encrusted-melon-headed-jail-breakin’ specimen of the “wonder of boyhood”, knocking over ice cream and lunging repeatedly towards Laylee just to see if he could make her cry and drop her cone. I looked like a SAHM cliché, wet hair in a mommy-tail, no makeup and clothes just one step above pajamas (I seriously considered wearing the PJs and claiming The Plague as my excuse).
With all of this going on at our table, the DQ employee still could not get enough of Laylee and Magoo. She even went so far as to say, “MAN! I wanna have a baby so bad.”

Disclaimer: DQ offers no “immunity boosts” of any kind, free or unemancipated.

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29 Responses to Doctors = No More Please

  1. Jeana says:

    Sorry, not working! I’ve already got four and you still make me want more kids!

    How beautiful are your kids?! Too cute!

  2. We had a little one come visit us at work while his grammy got worked on- for an hour. He was perfectly quiet but proceeded to dump his crunchy cereal out on the carpet and stomp it all into the carpet! He won’t be coming with grammy again 🙂 I think you sound like the ultimate mom, Kathryn. And I love the pj’s thing- I would live in my jammies if I could!

  3. Heth says:

    Those two are definately keepers! Thanks for sharing the pics.

    I love Laylee’s obsession with Snow White. For awhile, our now four year old was consumed with all things Hulk, wearing his Hulk costume everywhere. Except it tended to bring out the agressive side…imagine that.

  4. jessica says:

    So sorry you’re not feeling well. At least you can still manage to make the rest of us smile – phlegm or no phlegm! Hope you get better really soon.

  5. Karen says:

    Another one of those posts that reminds me why I just think you’re the greatest.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  6. HLH says:

    I keep pushing the envelope to see how far into society I can get before I really can’t wear my “almost pajamas” anymore.

    Did you try Zicam for your cold yet? It supposed to be the wonder cure.

  7. Amber says:

    I hate weeks like that- where you spend months on end in the drs office ect. We’ve been doing that lately but with the dentist. YUCK!

  8. Goslyn says:

    Oh, that is too cute. But you don’t get to complain about looking ugly when you clearly have POLISHED YOUR TOENAILS. Nope, not buying the “mommy-tail/nearly pjs thing” when you have a pedicure.

    Man, seems like Magoo and Tommy have some DNA in common somewhere … or maybe it’s just that they’re both boys. Yeah, that’s it.

    Great post. And I hope you feel better soon!

  9. andrea says:

    As for the wonder of boys (uncapitalized) I’m holding my breath for when Magoo walks. I had a 95th percentile boy who walked at under 10 months and who I could not keep in a stroller after that, even when I tied all his limbs to the sides (OK maybe not). Needless to say, I lost weight chasing him everywhere, so take heart! And get some rest over the next month or so…

  10. Love Magoo’s outfit. Are you traveling with your camera everywhere now?? 🙂

  11. Rachelle says:

    Your kids are so freaking cute! Glad you are all surviving the medical chaos!

  12. GREAT flip flops!! In Seattle? Guess you don’t mind your feet getting wet when you have such a great pedicure. Speaking of which, I just got one yesterday- a pedicure, that is. Aren’t they great? Oh, and if you are truly a “Flops” lover, then see if y’all have a Barefoot Bubbas in your area.

  13. Mel says:

    Hey, if you want, I could share the stomach virus and then you could continue your medical streak. Just let me know.

  14. Grammy says:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling rotten. Here’s hoping that today is better. Personally I’m going to have a bunch of needles stuck in my back today to find out what’s been making me sick for so long. Wish me luck. And come by and visit my site sometime. I’m lonely for you.

  15. Lou says:

    Doesn’t that just kill you? You’re all grody and tired and frazzled and someone looks at you and finds the state you’re in to be so charming she wishes it on herself? Unbelieveable, and yet it happens all of the time. I swear people don’t see me- all they see is Magpie’s little fountains sticking out of the top of her noggin’ – and they can’t see anymore or think straight. They are simply overwhelmed by the power of her cute.

  16. Lei says:

    Love it! Had a similar experience today as Drew pitched his applesauce at me in a restaurant, and old man came over to me and said, “Boy, you’re blessed aren’t you?”

  17. emlouisa says:

    So the immunity boosts don’t work eh? That is too bad because I have had a cold for over two weeks and would try anything (within practical reason) to get rid of it.

    Your kids are totally cute. And the toenail polished feet in one of the Magoo pics are totally cute too. You may look like the SAHM Cliche, but not from the ankles down, girl. Hot! 🙂

  18. oh my goodness, the CUTENESS!

  19. I want to squish your boy, if you don’t mind my saying…

  20. GiBee says:

    Aaawwee … such cutie pies! So sorry your feelie good feels bad! Feelie better soon!

  21. GiBee says:

    Aaawwee … such cutie pies! So sorry your feelie good feels bad! Feelie better soon!

  22. Linsey says:

    Cute! I actually love when my kids go out in dres-ups. SO cute. They are cuties.

  23. Susan says:

    I just want to squeeze that Magoo. The cuteness is killing me!

    And Charlie would like me, once more, to check with Laylee and see if he can take her to the prom in 2020. Please?

  24. bon says:

    I love me some Darings! Although I do admit to seeing DYM, and thinking “do it yerself mom?”

  25. HangerMom says:

    Your kids are beautiful, though I’m terrified of having a boy and your posts don’t help that much :). Maybe I’ll get lucky and only ever have girls… I have a 9 month old, 90th percentile, over-acheiving girl, and she can be crazy, but nothing like the little boys we have play dates with!

    Feel better soon!

  26. HolyMama! says:

    your kids are too cute. and? I LOVE that stripe-y one piece thing. THat’s gorgeous. (cute flip flop, too)

  27. Elena says:

    I didn’t realize our babies were so close in age Kathryn. My baby was born June 3! She is very sedate and sits pretty still – but then I did my time with her 4 big brothers!!

  28. Alexa says:

    I just love your sense of humor — and your writing ability.
    Cute kids too!

  29. Grammy says:

    Oh, I want those babies. I want them right now! How many months til the family reunion? Yeah! That’s what I thought. Toooooooooo stinkin’ many!

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