Tip Tuesday – Losing Weight without Crazy Diets

For the sake of this Tuesday’s discussion, we will consider all “diets” to be crazy. I hate them. I want to lose weight. I don’t want to eat cabbage soup, count my calories, assign a complex scoring system to each food item, or work out more than 30 minutes per day, capiche?


Here are my tips:

1. Don’t graze (I stole this tip from Kathy Peel). Cows graze. People sit down to eat. Kathy says never eat while standing or while doing another activity. Being a mother, I can see that this means I will likely never eat again and will therefore lose tons of weight.

2. If you’re currently pregnant, give birth. This TOTALLY worked for me.

3. Don’t buy anything that tastes good. If the food is lame, you won’t eat it, right? I think that’s Dr. Phil’s entire diet plan. Oh yeah, he had all that other stuff in there too.

4. Don’t get mad, stressed, annoyed or sad. This will cause you to eat a ton of Trader Joe’s whole-wheat spiral pasta with red sauce and shredded cheese while simmering in a hot bath and crying. The sweat and tears lost in the hot bath will not make up for the calories gained by eating the pasta. Try to remain calm.

5. Blow your nose before you get on the scale. I actually came up with this tip for myself one night, which sent me over the edge. That very night, I put this topic in the Tip Tuesday queue.

I need your help.

You HAVE to have better ideas than these or you’re a lot dumber than you look.

Update: check out The Bloggest Loser.

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52 Responses to Tip Tuesday – Losing Weight without Crazy Diets

  1. Becky says:

    Right after Christmas, I got a really bad cold, along with my entire family. I was coughing so hard for 3 weeks, that the thought of food was disgusting. By the time I got better, I had lost 10 pounds…go figure. So, my diet plan is a cold…just go lick a subway pole, or attend a kindergarten class for a day or something.

    The second thing that motivates me to lose weight is the fact that my husband is 6’3″, and weighs 130 pounds. We’ve decided to switch weights, since I want to lose 10 more and he wants to gain at least 10. It’s a fun goal.

  2. Tiff says:

    Dance parties. We do one every day. My daughter loves to dance, and loves it even more when I hold her while we dance. It works. I tried running, areobics, work out tapes, nothing worked for me. But these dance parties. Wow. After an hour, when my arms are totally sore and I’m gasping for breath, but still managing to laugh at her cute little butt bouncing up and down, you can just feel the pounds melting off. Well, and watching what you eat helps too. I finally lost the last ten pounds I’d been working on since my daughter was born (she was 16 months old by the time i finally did it), just to find out that I’d lost the last 5 during the first two months of being pregnant with my second. So no time really to enjoy reward jeans, but still a good accomplishment.

    The biggest thing that I do is not to buy the food. I try to stick with healthy snacks and buy myself one treat each time at the store. Like mangos, or tomatoes, or grapes, or even some baked chips. I buy enough to have one (serving) a day and then I don’t eat them all at once because then my treat will be all gone. These are things I don’t usually buy. Like the grapes because there always so expensive, or mangos just because they are so yummy. Then instead of eating the cookies, or junk food my hubby brings home, I have my treat that is slightly healthier.

    The last thing I do is skip most of dinner. Now I know that this doesn’t make sense, but I am a grazer. So I basically eat dinner while I am making it. I taste enough to make a meal. So when the family sits down to eat, I have the vegetable and some fruit, and that completes the meal for me. Otherwise it’s like I’m eating two dinners.

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