The Truth

Well, I’m surprised how few people guessed the truth, especially since my parents both came on gave the correct answer.

1. As for The Apprentice, I never auditioned but I did think about it. I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it to the third round of auditions though. But it’s fun to think about. What I really wanted to be on was Survivor…until I had kids…and a life. I’ve even downloaded the application and started filling it out.

3. I can play the piano well, the guitar and the flute semi-pathetically, but can make no music with my navel. If you count making percussion sounds on various hard surfaces in my home, it may come close to eight, but not ten. Yes Maki, I was a band girl and am currently teaching piano.

4. When I lose weight, it definitely comes off the “top” first. My feet are only affected by pregnancy. I made up the little “ham feet” thing as a tribute to Magoo, whose feet look like little puff pastries with grapes for toes.

5. Also, I have used an umbrella…a couple of times…when we first moved here…and were basically tourists. Real Seattleites don’t mind a little “moisture.”

So it looks like Lauren and may parents (duh! They were living with me at the time) are the only three who succeeded at our little guessing game.

When I was 17 years old, I went to the DPS in Houston to renew my driver’s license. I entered the office wearing my National Honor Society t-shirt, carrying my Franklin planner and I believe my hair was in pigtails.

They took my license behind the counter and ran it through a scanner, at which point the dot-matrix printer went nuts, spitting out a page that labeled my license as “red-hot.” “Hmmm,” I asked, “what does that mean?”

“It means there is a warrant out for your arrest. Please stay where you are.”

“What is it for?” I asked, amused. I had never so much as been pulled over for spitting out my car window.

The computer wouldn’t say why I was supposedly “red-hot” but I had a warrant out for my arrest for unknown reasons. They explained that I was not being arrested, but instead “forcibly detained.”

They sat me in a back room with a police officer at a desk and a young teenager who was handcuffed to his chair. I found the whole thing incredibly exciting. I chatted to the “prisoner” who was unwilling to engage in banter. I spoke with the police officer.

“Does this happen a lot? Do lots of people have warrants out for their arrest by mistake? Are you going to handcuff me? Could you take my picture? No one will BELIEVE this happened to me. No, seriously, do you have a camera? How long have you worked here? This is so weird. I’ve never even had a ticket…..”

Eventually I think I annoyed them into letting me go. The officer looked at me with his most stern expression and said, “It looks like this may have been a computer malfunction. We’ll look into it but if the warrant is legit, we WILL find you.”


So there you have it. A warrant out for my arrest in the state of Texas. And they never were able to find me. My youth group toured a police station later and I asked our tour guide to look up my criminal record in the database. He said that my record showed that something was there but had been erased. Hm.

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23 Responses to The Truth

  1. Rachelle says:

    LOL! C’mon, admit it. You went on some huge crime spree.

  2. HLH says:

    I second that, hilariouse!!!! If nothing else it makes for a GREAT story to share!

  3. Caryn says:

    That’s crazy! Congratulations on getting away with it…whatever it was.

  4. jessica says:

    I think that probably would have been my last choice. Too hilarious!! You really are daring!

    Hope that doesn’t happen to me. I’m finally getting around to going for my TX license on Monday. Do you think they’d “forcibly detain” a woman with two kids?

  5. Amber says:

    1-ROFL- you even have the ‘look’ of a dangerous criminal- I guess that makes you all the more dangerous huh?

    2- I only wished that I gained weight in my feet first- unfortunately I’m a butt and thigh gainer.

  6. Nancy says:

    Holy Cow! It’s a good thing they didn’t handcuff YOU to the chair as well. I’m amazed you were able to stay so calm about the whole thing!

  7. Heidi says:

    “I made up the little “ham feet” thing as a tribute to Magoo, whose feet look like little puff pastries with grapes for toes.”

    HAHAHAHA! Pudgy baby feet–you gotta love ’em.

    Plus, that you were amused by the whole adventures says volumes about who you are; most people would have been either furious or scared out of their wits.

  8. Susan says:

    That is the best true story ever. And of course, if it happened to you NOW, you would have your OWN camera with you. And we could see where you were parked as well.

  9. blackbird says:

    oooooohhhhh you rapscallion!

  10. elliespen says:

    Man, how come adventures like that never happen to me? Every time I’M forcibly detained they always have a reason for it…

    (Actually, my record is clean. Except for that one parking ticket, blast the BYU lots!)

  11. Elena says:

    Oh that’s too funny! I’ll be you have an evil twin you don’t know about – like on the soap operas!!! you handled yourself very well though. I would have been a wreck!

  12. Grammy says:

    That’s my daughter, the felon – and my are we proud!

  13. Alissa says:

    criminal. i don’t think i can associate with you anymore. goodbye.

  14. JennyBee says:

    LOL!! Thanks for the laugh. That is funny!

    Eventually I think I annoyed them into letting me go. Maybe it was the pigtails?

  15. Moonface says:

    that is a great story!

  16. I always thought you looked like the criminal type, Kathryn- I mean, c’mon, that big smile, those white teeth, the bouncy hair… who are you trying to kid? 😉

  17. MommyMaki says:

    “This one time in band camp” … actually, nevermind 😉

    So, a rebel without even a known cause. Too bad you couldn’t find out what it was for. Computer glitch, uh huh. Is that the WHOLE truth Mrs. Daring? I don’t believe it 😉

  18. He says:

    I can just picture you like Rory from the Gilmore girls, all pristine and talky and not stressed at all. I love this story.

  19. Jessica– I think they just might forcibly detain a woman with two kids. I had all three of mine when I went for my TX license this summer and I was forcibly detained in line for at least three hours.

  20. Lauren says:

    Ah, I love that story. I read it to my husband too and we both sat there laughing. Daring Young Mom is truly family entertainment.

  21. Liz says:

    Wow. A real live criminal. I’ll bet there’s a website you can go to and have a fake wanted poster made up to add to your sidebar. 🙂

  22. Nutella says:

    “We’ll look into it but if the warrant is legit, we WILL find you.”

    Looks like you were Born to Run!


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