~30 hours after I lent my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to my friend….um…..Beulah, she sent me this email:
Kathryn,
I just thought I would give you an update on your Harry Potter book. It is doing fine. I have removed the dust cover so that nothing would happen to it. If I take the book outside (on my way to the car) and it is raining, I put the book under my sweatshirt so that it is kept completely dry from the rain (although after doing that, I can’t guarantee that your book will come back smelling the same way as it did when you loaned it to me). I am progressing through it nicely and I anticipate that when I am done I will go through some sort of Harry Potter/ wizard/ magic withdrawal since I read all Harry Potter 1-5 in the last 2 weeks. My dreams consist of magic and Harry Potter and I think that deep down inside I am just using this fantasy world of Harry Potter to escape from the horrors of my own life. I mean, let’s be honest, my life is crap. Everybody is always looking at me funny, they think I am some sort of show off and they don’t ever believe a word I say. My parents were killed when I was 1 and the only thing I have to show for it is this lousy scar….Oh, see. I’ve done it again. Off to Never-Never-Land, I was. The lines between fantasy and reality have blurred for me now, I don’t know if I will ever be able to get a grip.
Anyways…..just wanted to let you know that I am taking real good care o’ yer book.
-Beulah
PS. Thanks for the recipes!
I liked this. It was bloggable.
Today we went grocery shopping together. Before following me in her car, she mentioned my X-man super-parking-powers and said something like, “I guess I won’t be parking near you. That’s not one of my special talents.”
I told her that it might be possible for me to extend my powers to include her….as long as I was still using them for good, not to show off or put myself in a one-up position in the hierarchy or our relationship (Sorry. I’m speed reading my book-club book right now).
When I got to the store, it was lunch time and the lot was packed. However, I drove straight to THE spot and it was once again empty. I’m starting to wonder if that spot was formerly used as a toxic waste dump or contaminated with the plague and that’s why no one else will go near it.
I took my life in my hands and parked there anyway.
I got out of the car to take a picture of the spot, since car parking is the new theme of this blog. As I was lining up the shot, the guy in the spot next to me pulled out. I started losing it. I planted my body in the middle of the spot and as cars came up and turned on their blinkers to pull in, I waved them on to the back of the lot. I HAD to get this picture great parking spot for my friend.
People (and I mean people who obviously do not read this blog and did not recognize me from my floating head which resides immortalized on the internet) WERE MAD! I got me some major stink-eyed looks. Heads were shooken and choice words were muttered. I did not personally witness any “friendly” hand gestures.
But hey, I got the spot….and the shot.
Today, I would encourage you to head over to Stephanie’s and help complete her story. Fun and games people, fun and games. What will happen? Only YOU can decide.
Your super powers are starting to frighten me…
and you are sure that there aren’t blue lines around the spot? with a funny blue sign at the front of it?
how about a chalk outline on the ground in the spot?
that looks like a person?
DYM, you’re scaring me a little….
DYM- you are very brave. Down here in FL you would have been flattened. You are a true friend…
Ok, what Blackbird said is the FUNNIEST thing.
And yes, you a brave and loyal friend for physically putting your body in peril to save a parking spot.
5+ HP books in two weeks? Either Beulah has super-human (magical?) reading powers or she has no life. I want both!
Aunt J and I have been a gettin the great spots, too, lately, and she said to me the other day, “I love my handicap parking (thing you hang from the mirror). At least there’s one little silver lining in this big dark cloud.” We laughed, but only because we wished so much not to have it or need it so bad. I’ve always wondered if those handicap sticker cars really need those spaces. Yep, some sure do. Small children are such a happier excuse to need a close parking space. I’m all for making a sticker for young mothers, too, actually! Can you see instead of a blue wheelchair, a red stick figure in a skirt with a double stroller and her hair spiked straight up! There are some days they could really use a break. Glad you have built in “super powers”, DYM, and even want to share them! And blog about them, too!
Good thing you live up there in Granola eaters land. Here in Texas, somebody woulda shot you.
I want those super powers! Where’d ya get them? WIll you share?
And your dad’s comment made me laugh out loud.
I like the visual of Pam’s “mom parking spot” sign!
DYM I’m very impressed with your powers. I’m worried though because many powerful people have said they would only use them for good and then they have eventually have been ‘turned to the dark side’. Be cautious, if a powerful magician tries to mentor you!
The Justice League called. Apparently someone is using their parking powers for the gain of others and not in emergencies. I’m sure you know NOTHING about this, DYM. I’m just sayin’.
😉
Chili
I like funny people too, hence why I like you.
PS I’ll let you use that poem for valentines day:-)
you ARE brave!!! and a true friend to Beulah! saving that spot for her! DYM love is the best kind.
Kathryn’s dad- you are HILARIOUS! Where’s your blog?
Once I saw Carmen Deedy tell a story about when her four foot tall Puerto Rican mother went and held a parking space like that in the mall parking lot right before CHRISTMAS!
Somehow the two of you are now melded together in my brain and I see a much shorted DYM with a grey beehive hairdoo and a blue polyester pantsuit.
Just for kicks I think I will make a little construction paper hairdo to tape on your head on my computer screen to see if it’s as funny as it is in my head.
Would you ask Beulah for me if anyone ever says: Anyone, Anyone… Beulah?