Confessions of an English Major

I never finished Moby Dick. This may not come as a complete surprise to my American Novel professor who graded the exam where I answered that Ishmael, THE NARRATOR OF THE ENTIRE BOOK, dies at the end. (The first words of the book are “Call me Ishmael” which should have been my first clue that he lived through his dealings with the massive beast from the deep in order to record his experiences. Alas, I remained clueless.)

To the rest of you, this may seem shocking.

The truth is, I just couldn’t do it. It was so long and there was so much information about whale anatomy, I was taking a billion classes and we had only one week to read the book. So, I read until he started describing each whale species and every single atom it possessed. Then I read/skimmed the Cliff’s Notes and moved on with my life.

It is a happy and full life and I don’t really feel bad about it. I still got a B in the class and they even let me graduate.

The Mobe-ster still sits on my shelf of “great literature” and one day maybe Laylee will read it and tell me what happens. Until then, at least I can comfort myself in knowing that Ishmael is still alive to write his life story.

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7 Responses to Confessions of an English Major

  1. Moby WHAT?! (Danny DeVito, in the Disney movie Matilda–you must see it)

  2. blackbird says:

    I picked up Moby **** whilst trying to conceive Middle. Well, not actually WHILST but, you know, before and after.
    It’s waaaaaaaay more than you wanna know about whales and whaling.

    Are you following the humor in this?
    Moby ****/conceiving crap?

    cause I had some wine.
    cause….oh well…you don’tneedtoknow.

  3. Anna says:

    Since we’re into confessions…I’m an English major and I HATE Dickens. Can’t stand any of his writing. He was paid by the word, and it shows. And I never read Moby **** either. So there. 🙂

  4. I never read Heart of Darkness, the shortest book in the history of man. And yet, I still aced high school english. I love the public school system.

  5. S.C.Elle says:

    If it’s any comfort, isn’t Moby like a musician?

    Also, I’ve never seen or read Gone With The Wind.

    I didn’t enjoy Catcher in the Rye, or understand it.

    Have no clue about Jane Eyre, Jane Austin, and isn’t Hemingway’s a bar?


  6. S.C.Elle says:

    Oh My God, Anna, you are everywhere I am these days? Are we two of the same????

  7. Anna says:

    LOL, s.c. Seriously, you have to read Jane Austen. I bet you’d love her stuff. Chick lit with a slightly older style. Funny, insightful, interesting. It’s no coincidence Bridget Jones referenced Pride and Prejudice (my favorite by her) frequently.

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