Daring Young Mom

Just came back from a totally fun and wild baby shower where it was discovered that nearly all of us are afraid of mirrors in the dark, I was deemed the most likely to be a fun drinking buddy (if I were ever to try alcohol), and we were THIS close to playing stiff as a feather, light as a board…..er, light as a feather, stiff as a board.

But that’s not what this post is about. That is for another day. That is for the day when I post about Karli taking me on a fun girl’s getaway and then letting me sleep alone in a dark room with a wall made entirely of mirrors and a “wicker bed” (read this – tinder box with a mattress on top) pushed up against an electric heater…..Ah, memories.

Back to the van. This was probably the most fun we’ve had with comments. There was much of laughter and much of “discussion” as we “narrowed it down” to 20 and then we were stuck and couldn’t go on.

This was when I stopped the awards process to ask you all for ways to save our marriage. I kid. I kid. It’s all in jest.

And the name is………… dun dun dun…….Vincent Van Gogh (Vinny for everyday use).

Thanks to GINGER for coming up with the winning name!!! Go by and check out her site Joyful Woman. She’s a real “upbeat lady” (to quote Groundhog Day) and she rocks.

We picked the name for its artistic and historical significance, for the fact that the van’s ear…er…side mirror was gimpy when we purchased it, for its Rah-Rah-bility (go-Van-Gogh!) and because it’s just a flippin’ cool name all around.

For the memories and for those of you who want to pick over the table scraps, here is a list of all the names. The first paragraph contains our VERY favorites but we liked pretty much all of them. Thanks for playing.

Sparky, Art Vandelay, Ichivan (Ichiban means #1 in Japanese), Jean Claude van Damn, OyTota, Vandemonium, Ralph, Van Go, Van Winkle, DYVA (Daring Young Van is Awesome), LAMAR (Laylee and Magoo’s Awesome Ride), La Chaussure (Chaussy)

Lucy (in the sky with diamonds), The Golden Ticket, Toddler Tanker, Miss Shirley Van de Haulin’, Hugo, Solid Gold, Gold Rocket, Kid Rocket, van Kong, Van Helsing, Murphy (murph), Vincent van Gold, Golda MyVan, Van Halen, Goldie, Bob, Vantastic, Vanna Gold, VanDanner, Henrietta Sugarcookie, Miss Piggy, Double Dog Dare, ad-Van-tage, Van-dal, Fiesty Sheila, Biff, Scriganesh, Kiki, Vanessa, Goldie Van Der Van, Marvin the movin’ Mormon Van, The Rocket Sled, MidasMobile, Yellow Dart, Quick Nick, The Sube, Flying Flobbit, Cultured Cruiser, Ralph, Vanna Gold, Mortimer the Minivan, Vantasy, Frank, Skiffington (skiff), Sandy, Marmaduke, The Silver Bullet, Petunia

Laylee: What’s this?
Me: It’s something special.
Laylee: What IS it? Is it an envelope?
Me: It’s a special paper for your baby.
Laylee: What IS it?
Me: It’s your Cabbage Patch Kid’s birth certificate.
Laylee: Is it in an envelope?
Me: Yes.
Laylee: OH! (pulling it from the envelope) What IS it?
Me: It’s your baby’s birth certificate.
Laylee: Iiiiiii think it’s a big napkin.
Me: That’s why you don’t have access to the family records.

Dan: That’s bloggable.

My mom just called to see if I was still alive because I haven’t posted to my blog in over 24 hours. I am, in fact, alive. I’m not even sick yet. Slightly twisted maybe, but not physically ill.

As DY Dad wastes away to a shell of his former self, slurping chicken soup, blowing his schnoz, and saying incoherent things about server configurations (oh wait, that part’s normal), Laylee and Magoo are rapidly passing childhood milestones.

Fact – 7-month-old Magoo can now walk if you hold his hands and guide him forward. He looks like a cross between a Mussolini-style soldier and a cute fat ball of pudge with newly unleashed robotic mobile capabilities.

Fact – Laylee drew a person on her magna-doodle yesterday that looked surprisingly unlike a pile of mangled spaghetti. Not only did the specimen look semi-human, it actually looked a lot like a 1st trimester fetus, complete with arm-buds, leg-buds, blob-like cranial structure, and (she said) pants.

I don’t want to jinx things by mentioning the other milestone that we’re noticing, but it has to do with the fact that she is entering the realm of the persons with three years of agedness under their belts and the terribility seems to be waning. I will update you on whether this process ever completes itself …maybe after she leaves for college.

My mom always said she loved us all but she loved us more at different stages. If we asked who her favorite was, she said it was the one who needed her the most. Tonight, my family needs me and I am all a-tear with the joy of it.

Dan is pretty much walking death. He is having body and headaches so bad, he can hardly walk. I have been nursing him with Gatoraid, chick-flicks (he can’t fight back when he’s like this), and readings from S. Morgenstern’s The Princess Bride.

I joke about the death, but seriously, when he got up, asked me to pause The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (no I am not making that up), and moaned his way to the little boy’s room, I had this horrible feeling that he had meningitis or an aneurism or something and while he was about his important business, I was fighting back the tears and planning how I would pack up our stuff to move to my mom’s house with both kids in tow when he kicked the bucket.

When he came back, I told him of my concerns and he promised not to pass away….ever.

Then Magoo woke up in a state of sad sadness and he sat between us, all cold, clammy and pasty like his dad and we watched the rest of the movie. Magoo summoned the strength to dance (bouncing and flailing, really) to the girl-power songs and Dan and I both cried like babies during the touching parts. (Dan says he only cried because he was so sick, but then that’s a theory we’ll never be able to test, now will we? If we watched it again and he remained dry-eyed, I’d say it was because it wasn’t the first time he’d seen it. Maybe some evening when he’s well, I’ll whip out My Girl and see how well he holds up. I cried so hard I was snorting during that movie.)

To give him the benefit of the doubt and to protect his manhood, I will say that I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him cry since we met (and I only have 5 fingers on my right hand, unlike Count Rugen). He must be really sick.

After I got him tucked into bed with his sprite-spiked Gatoraid and Tylenol PMs, I went to Magoo, whose crying had become a frenzy. I held and rocked and cuddled and loved him in the dark quiet of my living room. The fireplace flickered and he climbed up and down my stomach, nuzzling me all over and moaning happy, contented moans. Eventually I broke my big fat stupid rule and nursed the pathetic little guy to sleep.

Now I miss him. I miss my boys. I should go to bed. I’ll be the next victim of the disease, I’m sure. Magoo’s big enough now (over 2 years younger and only 5 lbs lighter than Laylee) that he should be rocking me to sleep when I come down with it.

This sentiment hit home. I read it right after putting him down.

Actual Second Grade Journal – Spelling and grammar left in its original form.

Thursday, Sept. 5
yesterday my babby sister went to the hospitle to get her ahernea taken out. When she came home she came home she was krance she wodunt take. (I think that should read – “wouldn’t talk.”)

Tuesday, Sept. 17
I have a family of six and mom is pregnint we think it is a girl. (It was a surprise in those days.)

Tuesday, Sept. 24.
My mom had two fals laberies and weav got to stae with two peple. My moms realy mad. (this baby was 4 weeks overdue when it finally arrived)

Thursday, Sept. 26.
My mom has a yucky docter. He is not taking good care of the baby. Mom got her old docter. (at two weeks overdue, my mom switched OBs)

Tuesday, Oct. 1.
We are geting an old fashan piano. It is as tall as my mom. We are puting it wer are book case is it has lots of break abull things on it.

Wednesday, Oct. 2.
We got the new piano this morning it is butaful my brother hogs it all. If you go nere the piano he bangs on it. Heather has an ida. She said we cood teas him out of it she will say “Adam I’av got some thing for you.”

Monday, Oct. 7.
Mom still did not have the baby. I don’t think it is going to come out. (I felt like this about both of my pregnancies. I wonder if we ever grow up.)

Friday, Oct. 18.
Our baby is home. The only thing I don’t like is that she wakes me up. (Ummm…..yeah. This one still rings true.)

Monday, Nov. 4.
My sister was a prinses for Hallowe’en. My mom made her it. She looked niser than me.

Tuesday, Dec. 10.
Today an elf came to school. She was realy weired. She took money out of kids ears (What kind of a freak pulls money out of kids ears? I mean really.)

Wednesday, Dec. 11.
When the elf came she called me and Ranee pixies my mom says that Santa Claus dosn’t come if your to old so my dad fills my moms stocking.

Wednesday, Jan. 8.
I am not geting another purm when this one is gone. my mom says purms make me look skinie. (The perm was disaster control after a “pixie” got people asking if I was a boy or a girl. It was supposed to make me look like Annie….)

Thursday, Jan. 23.
I love you Mrs. Kostieuck ever sinc kindergardan I’ve wanted you for my teacher.

Friday, Feb. 7.
Now I know 3 people named Mark. One is in Sundance and one is in our class and one is in the hospital.

Monday, March. 10.
Today I’m going to the dentist and if you don’t have any cavadies you get a silver doller and you alwais get a prize. (In my teenage years, I got my first cavity, didn’t get a silver dollar and cried my brains out. I felt like a tooth loser.)

Friday, April. 18.
Today I am going to the docter to see if my arm is broken its going ot be exiteing. (See. I told you.)

Thursday, April. 24.
Today it is almost resess so I can’t write very much. My mom likes it when I write in my juornal

Monday, April. 28.
Evere day my mom asks me what I rote in my journel. One day I told her I rote she was a pig. (The Daring One always had a “sense of humor.”)

Thursday, May. 1.
One boy named Ean we babysit and one boy named Ryan we babysit. Ryan is all oilers. Ean is all flames. All lunch hour they are fighting. (Do you follow Alberta NHL teams, by chance?)

Monday, May. 5.
I am glad the Flames won 8 to 2 now Ryan is going to want to be on the Flames side.

Tuesday, May. 20.
When I went to grandma’s house she gave Heather her 1st sowing mesheen and she gave me some slippers and a perm. (At least now I can spell it.)

Wednesday, May. 28.
My mom isgoing to be my bronies asistent leader but she has to come a half an hour late because of the baby siting kids (Mom was my Brownie leader for years. She always babysat for other kids to help pay the bills.)

Thursday, May. 29.
Day after tomoro I am geting $4 and 50 cents for my allouwince and I am going to buy a water tank gun. (Wow! $4.50! That must have been SOME tank gun! Aren’t Canadians supposed to be peace-loving people?)

Friday, June. 6.Today I am sleeping over at my cosin Meridith’s house and my sister has to stay home with a hole bunch of grown ups that she dosen’t now. I feel sorrie for her.