Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 3

And now for week 3 of The Series:

If you don’t have enough pet hair on your couch, you can get it in just 3 easy steps.

Doggy Stepsâ„¢
doggy steps

Why waste another day worrying about that ugly septic pipe in your yard when you could spend your time looking at an ugly fake plastic tree stump? (includes lifelike 2-inch squirrels and raccoons.)

“Hide-a-pipe tree stump makes unsightly above-ground septic pipes disappear.” (I really think they could have used an exclamation point here, but what do I know?! I’m not the magician.)
stump

It’s too late for me to invent a fork with razor sharp edges. The Knork is already a life-threatening registered trademark.

“When is a fork a knife? When it’s a Knork®! Clever design gives this fork a cutting edge along its beveled outside tines.”
knork

Protecting your valuable furniture is never out of style.

“See-Thru Furniture Covers
protect your beautiful chairs and sofas. Heavy duty, stitched slipcovers are contoured to fit all arm chairs. They slip on and off in a snap to keep out dust, dirt, spills, bugs. Will last for years.” (For years? Oh goody!)
plastic couch

You can save space by installing a large metal device on your wall to crush cans. I’ve always preferred crushing cans on my forehead or with a swift flick and stomp movement, but then I know nothing about saving space. Apparently it can also be screwed directly into your table.

“Space-saving Can crusher for wall or table. Don’t let empty cans pile up between collections!”
crusher

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17 Responses to Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 3

  1. Sarah says:

    We totally had a can-crusher when I was a kid. It was really fun for the kids.

  2. chilihead says:

    Husband needs the knork. We seldom have a dinner when I do not chastise him for his lack of knife usage. In fact, he broke our hosts cheap forks at a Thanksgiving dinner one year because he would not pick up his knife. THANK YOU Harriet Carter for your patent-pending idea.

  3. Mir says:

    Dude. I have that can crusher NOW. I am unscrewing it from the garage wall and taking it with us when we move because it makes the kids fight over who gets to take out the recycling.

  4. We have THREE can crushers! They are awsome! The kids love to crush cans.
    My sister in law has the doggy steps for her old beagle to get up and down because she’s had two hip surgeries and can’t jump that far………………. (no she didn’t have children, hehe, she does now though, so I’m guessing doggy hip surgery is not going to remain a priority)

  5. Jeana says:

    Ack! I’m having nightmares about that kork sliding across the corner between my upper and lower lip. Ow-wow!

  6. Karen says:

    I’m pretty sure that my grandparents have the can crushers. And the doggy steps for the overweight weiner dog.

  7. Farm Wife says:

    We had the can crusher when I was growing up…we fought over who had to use it. My grandparents have the doggie steps for their 3 lb. poodle…she can’t get into her arm chair without it. And my aunt & uncle had the furniture covers, but they only lasted until 1982.

  8. Carrie says:

    Hilarious! This is such a funny series! 😉 I love the plastic couch covers- reminds me of Everybody Loves Raymond- Ray’s mom did that! 😉 And the doggy steps are just too funny. 🙂

  9. MamaToo says:

    I have wondered where one might get plastic slip covers – and just in time for hot summers! I’m thinking… add some spilled kool-aid, and you’ve got a real indoor slip-n-slide. Better fun might be seeing my guests peel themselves from my sofa on a hot afternoon. What fun.

  10. Andrea says:

    There’s some great finds there. Wow!
    Seriously funny.

  11. Poppa2b says:

    I have the can crusher mounted in the garage. It must be almost 20 years old by now. When I move I always take it with me. After about 10 years you need to oil it. I don’t put my cans in the recycling, I crush them then take them to the place that will buy them from me. I don’t like that stump septic pipe thing, I prefer the fake rocks. Have you seen those faces you put on the trees yet?

  12. jodijean says:

    um that knork could do some damage, i mean you’re not supposed to lick knives for a reason, i’m thinking about how i use a fork and run the side along the sides of my mouth, i have a feeling my smile would get wider — if you know what i mean, crazy!

  13. Susanne says:

    This cracked me up today. I need to get one of those catalogs!

  14. Arizaphale says:

    The plastic septic tree stump HOORAYY!!! Just when you thought life couldn’t get any tackier!!!!! :_D

  15. Nan says:

    For some unearthly reason I think we had one of those can crushers in our garage. Or maybe my grandma had one somewhere? I don’t know, but it looks so dang familiar.

  16. Nan says:

    Okay and now that I went back and read the other comments, at least I know we weren’t alone with our can crusher! HA!

  17. Sara says:

    We too had a can crusher! My siblings and I would have timed contests to see who could crush the most cans in one minute! It was the funnest. And besides being a “smashing” good time, they are much healthier than trying to crush those cans on your forehead!

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