Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 1

Dan and I love getting the Harriet Carter catalog and devour it like we’re reading the color funnies. But more than an entertaining page-turner, the Harriet Carter catalog is also an educational tool. The next 4 weekends, I will share some lessons we’ve learned from Harriet Carter that may enrich your lives as well.

Everything becomes more valuable if it’s As Seen on TV. I suppose that makes this website a “must-have”. Actually, maybe not. I think the item has to be As Seen on TV in a paid advertisement to be truly remarkable. I did not pay to be As Seen on the Today Show.

My Lil’ Reminderâ„¢

Sticky-backed Velcro is the only hardware you should ever need for home improvement projects.

Instant Screen Door lets fresh air in, keeps bugs out! Screen attaches to almost any door frame with hook and loop strips included.

You can write anything you want and it’s never a lie as long as you type it in quotes. I “ran” down the stairs this “morning,” ate some “nutritious” cereal and “sang hymns” to the kids as I made them “muffins” from “scratch”. “This” could come in handy.

“Wrought Iron” Garden Fence adds instant visual impact to your lawn, flowerbeds, along a path or walkway. Looks like iron but it’s actually heavy-duty, weather-resistant plastic that won’t rust or corrode.
wrought iron

“Silk” Rose Bush bursts with blooms that will last for years! Enjoy them in a vase indoors, or outdoors as part of a shaded garden”” these beauties will never wilt or fade. Onlookers will be hard-pressed to tell the real from the “silks.”
silk rose bush

The cure for hunch-back-itis is to stand up straight and wear a magnetic bra.

Magnetic Back Support helps ease pain and corrects poor posture! Special design pulls back shoulders, straightens neck and head, and aligns spine without discomfort. 12 magnets inside the adjustable brace may help soothe spine and lumbar area.

There is a special “AS SEEN ON TV” cleaner for every bodily fluid that may “spill” on your carpet, mattress or upholstery. If it comes with a free “stain detector” you can see exactly where all the “spills” are in your house or throw a rave.

Urine Goneâ„¢ removes new or old stains & odors from carpets, mattresses, furniture – just about any washable surface or fabric! Darken the room and use the included “stain detector” black light to let you find the urine messes. Just spray on Urine Gone and its enzyme action makes stains and odors disappear.
urine gone

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25 Responses to Lessons From Harriet Carter — Part 1

  1. Eve says:

    Okay, this? This is some good shtuff! And that wasn’t a typo!
    I definately need some Urine Gone for my bathroom, and that magnetic bra? Why didn’t I think of that? I’d be rich by now! Look at her improved posture! Forget pilates, ballet or yoga.

  2. Jenny says:

    Oh, I so “need” those “real” flowers for my “yard”! This is “fun”.

  3. Tina says:

    I really think (after the potty training last year) I’d be VERY afraid to use that Urine Gone stain light and see all the missed stains from last year. Yeah, just thinking of the stains I might have missed but have been there all year “grosses” me out.

  4. Kimberly says:

    I need that bra. Oh yeah, baby.

  5. Hee hee hee! Harriet Carter. She crossed me off her mailing list when I moved a few years ago and oh how I miss her. I am loathe to admit that I may have ordered a thing or two. Everyone needs Urine Gone for those times you are stumbling through the den with a urine sample in hand.

  6. Liz says:

    that “wrought iron” fence sure had me fooled

  7. margalit says:

    The “stain detector” is actually a little blacklight. Cat pee floresces (sp?) under blacklight, and looks like neon green. Cat owners with wall to wall are quite familiar with this. Unfortunately, so am I.

  8. Jen says:

    A piece of wisdom my editor at my first newspaper passed on to me, similar to the put-it-in-quotes “option:” You can say anything in a headline as long as you put a question mark after it. Mayor revealed as space alien? School board busted for racketeering? Whatever you want! As long as it’s a question, not a statement of fact, you’re okay.

  9. heather says:

    That bra is an instant mood killer!

  10. Heffalump says:

    Wow…now I am afraid to have a big dance party at my house. You can’t have a dance party without a blacklight, and I am afraid of what might be “revealed”.
    When I lived in Salem there was a house that planted fake flowers in their yard, only theirs were fakey fake. They need “real” “silk” flowers.
    Just think how everyone would notice our obvious improved self esteem if we all wore cool magenetic bras like that. See how straight and tall she stands? I wonder if they are comfy to sleep in too…

  11. Farm Wife says:

    I so love Harriet Carter!! I like to brouse through it at my Busha’s house (My grandma). I picked out a lovely animal print turban for her to go with a fantastic floral mumu…and a delightful poker themed bedspread. Nothing says class like Harriet Carter!

  12. Brandi says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who peruses the HC cataloge with an eye for hilarity. However, I was sucked in by one of the adds for a “cushy” “absorbant” bathmat to use in my husbands bathroom; it’s a stand up shower that tends to leak. A-hem, it was the worst example of cheap sponge material I’ve ever seen. It’s under the regular mat, there is no way I would have it visible, what a waste of money! Oh well, caveat emptor.

  13. Carrie says:

    I used to love looking through that catalog! I need to go look into getting back on the mailing list. What fun!

  14. Bobita~ says:

    I somehow missed your Today Show debut…but I was sooo thrilled to see it through your link! It was fabulous!

    Now, I need to get that magnetic bra to keep me from morphing into the hunchback of SE Washington and…to keep gravity from tempting my breasts closer to the ground than what God intended!! (And, of course, to keep my nipples from draggin’ on the ground!! Heh.)

  15. LOL! It’s nice to know that at least SOMEONE else out there “sings hymns” to the children during the “sweet early hours” (meaning before noon) of the morning.

    You are just too funny. I even “wet myself” I laughed so hard.

  16. Sarah says:

    My favorite thing in those catalogs are the “massagers.” Yes, that pain in my shoulder calls for a “sausage” shaped vibrating “massager.” Yep, the pain in my shoulder, that’s what I’ll use that for!

  17. You can write anything you want and it’s never a lie as long as you type it in quotes. Shhh! Don’t give away “my” secret!
    I LOVE this catalog, it’s full of comedy gold.
    I’d be too scared of using that black light. I think I’ll rather not know.

  18. LeMare says:

    Looks like we’re on the same wave-length! Our blog, In Rare Form (http://inrareform.wordpress.com) has a segmented dedicated to Harriet Carter… Attached are a few posts we’ve already done. Stay tuned for more to come!

  19. Lei says:

    Hey… the urine gone actually works! Lol!

  20. Stephanie says:

    You know you are so hilarious, right?

    Gotta get me some “Urine” Gone.

  21. Millie says:

    I read that the little recording device has 20 seconds of recording time, so you better be a fast talker.

    With two little boys, my bathroom sometimes smells like it’s been sprayed down with “Urine HERE!”

    (wah wah wahhhhhh)

  22. marian says:

    Not sure if I even want to admit this… but there are several houses in my neighborhood that plant the, um, long-lasting variety of flowers in their yards and window boxes. One even has the “flowers” paired with the same sort of “wrought iron fence”– stunning! Except that the flower quality isn’t quite up there with Harriet Carter’s. More like Dollar Store. But, wow, do they bloom! Right through Thanksgiving sometimes! You’d never guess that they’re not real. Really.

  23. Barb says:

    My daughter (13 years old) lurks your blog regularly. I’m curious how often we show up on your stat counter. You’re a great writer, so funny, and that’s why she reads. Personally I appreciate that she’s reading something on the computer that isn’t in text abbreviations. My sister in law told me that she doesn’t want to live long enough to see teen texting become standard english!

  24. Poppa2b says:

    I have the instant screen door. It’s not bad, the cat, dog and even me can get thru it without trouble. I was wondering if that urine be gone really works. Not that I’ve ever missed, but I heard sometimes pottie training can be a little tricky.

  25. jodijean says:

    you should totally put the “as seen on tv” logo on your banner, holy moley that would be priceless!!

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