My Favorite Things- A Petition

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend over the last few years in our media.  There is an increased use of the song, My Favorite Things, as an anthem of Christmas and I think it’s just wrong.  I can offer plenty of evidence for this.  First of all, Fräulein Maria sang it to the children in the middle of the summer during the Nazis.  Nazis have nothing to do with Christmas. 

Also, Dan played a saxophone solo on that song when he was in an amusement park band for a summer job.  SUMMER.  Are you noticing a trend here people?  Personally, I think that’s all the support I need to have the song yanked from the airwaves, Christmas albums and TV specials. 

However, before I mount a full scale attack on those persons who are set on misusing Rodgers and Hammerstein’s classic tune, I will perform an unbiased statistical analysis of the song lyrics themselves.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens;
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens;
Brown paper packages tied up with strings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels;
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles;
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings;
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes;
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes;
Silver-white winters that melt into springs;
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad
.

Raindrops are a NO.  Christmases should be white, not soggy.

Roses can be red, which is a Christmas color but I associate them more with my birthday or tomorrow (hint, hint) so they get a NO.

Whiskers on kittens.  Hmmm… Some people have been known to give kittens as Christmas presents, which is a very bad idea and if you’re planning it, put air holes in the box or you’re gonna have a very disturbed toddler on your hands.  They also have warm fur which could be removed and used to make winter coats so I will approve them.  YES to kittens.

Bright copper kettles make hot cocoa, which Santa LOVES so YES.

Warm woolen mittens.  Duh.  YES.

Brown paper packages tied up with strings.  Either a dull and archaic wrapping choice or a Martha Stewart experiment in minimalist chic style, you cannot deny that packages fit nicely with Christmas.  YES.

Cream colored ponies can dash through the snow, pulling a slay full of festive carolers.   YES.

Crisp apple struddles, if served warm in front of a cheery hearth to children by a wrinkled old person would make me want to sniff some pine air freshener.  YES.

Doorbells — Carolers sing to attract attention and Santa never rings OR knocks.  NO.

Sleigh Bells — CURSE YOU Chris Van Allsburg!! YES.

Schnitzel with noodles.  This sounds like a dish the Nazis would eat, not the baby Jesus.  I say down with Schnitzel.  NO.

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings are probably migrating south for the winter.  They are flying to their Christmas homes in Florida.  I will have to concede a YES for geese and the moon.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes should be illegal after Labor Day.  Nice try Barbara Streisand.  This song should be removed from your Christmas album.  NO.

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes are a YES.  What says Christmas better than someone who looks like a fuzzy white frozen caterpillar curled up and died on their eyelids?

Silver white winters. YES. 

that melt into springs.  NO.

Well, flippin’ cow!  It just doesn’t add up.  According to my scientific study, this song is 62.5% Christmassy.  I think I’ll have to leave it up to democracy, something I’m sure the Nazis would never allow.  Please leave your votes in the comments section, which I will then use as a petition to either have this song surgically removed from Christmas or inducted into the Christmas hall of fame.  It’s all up to you.

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35 Responses to My Favorite Things- A Petition

  1. jeana says:

    First–you rock. This is flippin’ hilarious.

    “I say down with schnitzel” might just be my favorite, but the removal of kitten fur for warmth cracked me up to because I’m disturbed that way.

    AND–I totally agree that the song–AS THE MOVIE–have nothing to do with Christmas! And this from a woman who stands solely against the other 5 members of my family in insisting that Meet Me in St Louis counts as a Christmas movie because, although it covers all four seasons, Christmas is one fourth of the movie and involves the pivotal career decision by the dad which saves his family from a lifetime of shock therapy. (Prozac wasn’t around back then, you know.)

    IT’S NOT TOO LATE THOUGH.

    Your survey did not cover dog bites, bee stings or feeling bad. WE CAN STILL TURN THIS THING AROUND.

    Rally, people, rally.

  2. jeana says:

    I can’t believe you have a category for world domination.

  3. Traci says:

    Ha! This is stinkin’ funny. I was wondering myself when this song became a Christmas song. Maybe Barbara Streisand did your scientific study and decided to go with it. Naw – that gives her too much credit.

    I’m with Jeana – count the dog bites, bee stings and feeling bad. And let’s sneak in a verse about rat vacs. 🙂

  4. Jessica says:

    I agree, the song is fun, but so NOT Christmassy. I don’t understand why it is overused. While we are talking about banning so-called “Christmas” songs, let’s get rid of that horrible “I wish I had a river I could skate away on….” song. I HATE IT. It starts out with pretty music, then the lyrics begin and you wonder, why? WHY?
    Plus there is some stupid line about someone loving someone else “so naughty, it made me weak in the knees”. Not really appropriate as a Christmas song, and to be honest, kinda creepy to hear about.
    Wow, I could go on about a few others I wouldn’t hate NEVER hearing again in my life, but I don’t want to take up anymore room.
    I like your statistical analysis of the song; very scientific. 🙂

  5. allysha says:

    NOT Christmassy. I think the kicker is the qualitative analysis, instead of the quantitative. She thinks of these things, and then she doesn’t feel so bad, which probably indicates that said things aren’t occuring at that instant. So while it may seem like it could be a Christmas song, it’s a song for other times, that may help you recall Christmas if you need it.

    The sad part is, our Christmas is looking like a raindrops one. Bummer.

  6. Angela says:

    “Nazis have nothing to do with Christmas” is going to have me laughing ALL day.
    You would have been a very fun stats partner in college, I’m sure.

  7. Sketchy says:

    Its a NO! Not Christmasy…there maybe Christmasy elements in the song, but it was never a Christmasy song, its about remembering your favorite things so “Then I won’t feel so baaaaad!” Unless you always get depressed at Christmas then its a NO!

  8. Jen says:

    You are hilarious. I’m thinking… it’s a quasi-Christmas song? Don’t hurt me! But statistics don’t lie.

    Um, yeah, right 🙂

  9. jeana says:

    Commenting once again to say… your spelling of “slay bells” under cream colored ponies reminds me again of the kittens with fur removed. Which totally slays me.

  10. Kate says:

    I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday when I heard this song for the fourth time on the Cable TV music station. It wasn’t written as, or ever intended to be a Christmas song. It may have 60-whatever percent of the lyrics that MIGHT apply to Christmas, but it’s just not. Thank you for calling it out.

    Of course I live in Arizona, the land of the anti-Christmas weather, so what do I know?

  11. Sunflower says:

    Happy birthday! And no, “My Favorite Things” is absolutely totally irrefutably NOT a Christmas song.

  12. grammyelin says:

    You must be related to me! The use of this song for Christmas has long disturbed me also. Great song – happy – upbeat – worth singing, but just don’t try slamming the thing into a Christmas niche. It just doesn’t fit. In case you are in doubt, my vote is NO!

  13. Valarie says:

    What does Barbara Streisand know about Christmas? She’s Jewish. Her album doesn’t count in the voting.

  14. Margaret says:

    I’m with Valarie on the Barbara Streisand’s religion thing. So let’s chalk it up as a Chanukah song (did y’all notice my alliteration there?) and be done with it.

    And I, with Jeana, am…disturbed? intrigued?…that you have a world domination category. I just don’t dare click on it to see in what other ways you have tried to assert your dominance…

  15. Shalee says:

    No. No. No. No. No. (Count each of them as a vote apiece – one for each member of the family and the cat who of course keeps her fur on at all times, well, for the most part. She sheds just a wee bit.)

    And I completely agree with Valarie. Barbara Streisand rarely knows about anything in general, so I don’t count her or her album in the equation.

    Thanks for taking this stand. Really someone needed to do it; it might as well be you and all the power behind your blog.

    Down with MFT at Christmas time!

    (Oh and the “Nazis have nothing to do with Christmas” bit? That’s not entirely true. Read Silent Night by Stanley Weintraub. It’s a great story about the Christmas truce during WWI.)

  16. Rachelle says:

    So I am going to be a rebel, go out on a limb and say it is Christmassy! Am I going to get lynched now? An angry mob at my home? Perhaps even a Nazi? Great, and all because I voted yes.

  17. jodijean says:

    NOT christmassy — and yes i agree Nazis have nothing to do with christmas

  18. Sarah says:

    So not a Christmas song. I find myself irked each time I hear it played on the radio with all the other *real* Christmas songs.

  19. Lisa says:

    Yes it is, I guess. I sang it for a Christmas recital once and it is in my Readers Digest Christmas Carol book. But i think it is one of those *special songs that can adapt for a variety of seasons!

  20. I am so stinkin’ glad you blogged about this. No lie, just last week Chilihead and I were shopping together and this song came on the loudspeaker and we had a full conversation about how it is not a Christmas song. Truly.

  21. heather says:

    we must own different christmas albums, I have never heard this played as a christmas song. Until you mentioned it I never would have considered it a Christmas song.

    How about we replace it with Irving Berlin’s White Christmas!

  22. Pam in Utah says:

    It’s not so very Christmasy, but it IS pretty, and happy, and optimistic. I’m all for pretty music any time. 🙂 I’m getting a little tired of the the all Christmas all the time station as they are doing repeat after repeat after repeat…. There are enought beautiful songs and arrangements that it seems too bad to listen to the same cheesier ones all the time. Merry Christmas to all.

  23. Pops says:

    Not.

    And scratch the Nazis in WWI, Shalee — they hadn’t been invented yet.

  24. Mara says:

    Wow, that has totally been bugging me, too. Ever since Thanksgiving, I’ve been annoyed at hearing “My Favorite Things” mixed in the Christmas line-up. Not a Christmas Song! It’s not, it’s not, it’s not.

  25. Lei says:

    I deem it Christmasy – although never thought of it as such! Hmmm… we have solved a mystery, I am sure.

  26. is it your anniversary tomorrow? 🙂 happy anniversary! if not, just save that happy wish for the next one, whenever that might be.

  27. Tammy says:

    Too funny! And even my six year old last year heard this and asked what it had to do with Christmas…:)
    And then I heard a few other songs this year pretending to be Christmas songs that had me all riled up…
    “Met my old lover in a grocery store….” OK, so he happens to run into her and it brings back memories, hence the New Year song titile, but making it a Christmas carol is stretching it beyond limit, don’t you think?
    There’s a few others – one that I really LOVE- called “Baby, it’s cold outside”…but still…it’s not exactly about Christmas.
    So, you struck a chord with me! People for real Christmas songs- unite!!!

  28. KYouell says:

    I vote no because, as Allysha says, it is about times when you are feeling bad and need to think about these items. The more statistically Christmassy it is, the more it is occurring some other time!

    Also, Jeana is so right about Meet Me in St. Louis! Not only is Christmas and the Christmas Ball pivotal, but how could “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” have come from anything but a Christmassy movie??? Hmm? How?

  29. Jen says:

    So funny, my DH and I were just arguing about this exact thing the other day when he was listening to his John Coltrane cd. I voted for Christmas, he voted for Coltrane. Now I have some stats to back me up! Thanks for doing the hard crunching DYM!

  30. schnitzel lover says:

    Down with schnitzel? How could you? Schnitzel is one of the best things to come out of Germany. Nobody can say no to an authentic schnitzel sandwich to accompany a walk through a quaint german town.

  31. Well, “Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland” isn’t a Christmas song either- just a winter one! I’m with you. Why are these only played during the Christmas season?

  32. Nancy says:

    Yeah, it’s not a Christmas song….but it does make for an awesome Theme for an Enrichment Christmas Party! We were kind of hoping no one would think about the fact that it isn’t a Christmas Song, but thanks for pointing it out to EVERYONE!!!!! I’ll let you off the hook though since I think today is your BIRTHDAY!!!

  33. Keri-Ann says:

    Ha! I got Spencer to read your entry and now he can’t stop whistling the song!

    Definitily not Christmas IMO, but I don’t have any groovy statistical analysises… analysies… analys… uh, nothing to back me up. Great entry!

  34. eve says:

    I’m sorry Kathryn, it’s TOTALLY a Christmas song. The evidence is overwhelming.
    So maybe Maria was wishing it was Christmas when it was stormy out because that was her “Happy Place”
    and Dan with the band at the theme park,
    theme park=happy place as well.
    What’s happier than christmas?
    Do you feel me?
    I think I have won the arguement.
    Do you concede?

  35. Jon says:

    This is so perfect, I have to use it as a theme for tomorrow’s morning radio show! I hope you don’t mind…

    Jon

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