Thoughts from Last Wednesday

How many hard plastic balls are in my house?  Magoo, who is obviously practicing to be a professional pitcher someday, spends much of his time screeching like a nazgul and laying waste to the princesses in his path. 

Hopefully Laylee can find a job as the town crier, weeping and hiding from an infant. She is completely obsessed with gum.  What did you do today?  Chewed gum and played dodge-ball involuntarily while squealing like a pig.

Ouch.  Dude.  He just whipped me in the head with a rolled up knee-high.  Yes.  Our house contains knee-highs.  It also contains a couple of pairs of pants with elastic waistbands, whole-wheat pasta and 2-6 framed pictures of me and Dan kissing madly.  See why I’ve never invited you over?  You probably wouldn’t like it here.

I bought the DVD Emma again and season 4 of Monk.  Since we already own Emma, some lucky family member will probably get it for Christmas or Mother’s Day.  It’s a good one.  I promise.  I bought it, like twice. 

I passed on the age old myth of the gum in the tum never being digested. 

I thought about Jim and Pam.  Will they end up like Angela and Tony, dragging it out for 8 seasons?  Because really, I cannot take 8 seasons.  They must be together.

I erased a “?” and a “>” and suddenly my blog was no more.  I put them back and my blog reappeared…like magic.  I decided that PHP is dark magic and must be stopped.

I reported a guy driving well.  He had one of those stickers that said “How’s My Driving? — Call this number.”Â  I am obedient so I called the number.  From the silence on the other end when I told her that there was no “incident” except safe courteous drivemanship, I’m guessing not many people call to report good driving.  I hope he got a raise.

That is all.

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21 Responses to Thoughts from Last Wednesday

  1. Jessica says:

    Everybody deserves to be complimented sometimes whenever they do something right! GO YOU for commenting on the guy who was driving well! 🙂

  2. wendy says:

    Maybe he will get a raise!
    At W-world on Saturday, as I was getting ready to run my card in the scanner thing, the screen asked me: Is Your Checker Clean? Yes, No, Maybe So – That gave me a good chuckle. I checked yes – she appeared clean, but maybe she was having dirty thoughts, I don’t know! I hope she gets some brownie points or a free doughnut or something.

  3. Oh my, had to stop and think about who Tony and Angela were… And I loved Who’s the Boss. And Jim and Pam? So had better get it together sooner than that!

  4. Mir says:

    HAHAHAHA I must call to report a good driver. I love that.

  5. I keep wondering about Jim and Pam too. And I have to admit that I’m still wondering what’s going to happen with Abby and Luka (sigh…).

    They probably love positive driving comments. The bumper stickers always say, “How’s my driving?” If they only wanted to know when the driver stunk at driving, they’d say, “Does this guy’s driving totally suck or what? Call 1-888…”

    Is that Gwyneth Paltrow Emma? I’m there, dude.

  6. grammyelin says:

    It sounds like a good productive day. I like “Emma” and don’t have it. (just in case you are interested). I’m glad your boy is developing a good arm and that he’s an all-boy boy. I’m sorry this translates into multiple injuries and hysteria. Hang in there!

  7. Michelle says:

    You called the number? That’s great. Did you see this:

    post on the same subject? Cracked me up.

  8. Mary says:

    You just made my Monday. I am lol. Thanks!

  9. Susan says:

    I also recently told a kid about how gum sits in your tummy for seven years. But now he wants to try it out.

  10. Rebecca says:

    We have multiple copies of Shrek which no one in the house actually likes. Every Shrek must go! Yeah, the Pam and Jim thing is RIPPING MY HEART OUT. I’m just about sobbing at the end of every episode, which is not funny for a funny show.
    I’m afraid that my seven-year-old daughter is going to get the Screeching Job Openings first, but Inadvertent Dodgeball might still be there when Laylee grows up.

  11. Shalee says:

    I love the reporting the driver incident. I hope he got a raise too! And Emma rocks.

  12. Tressa says:

    Isn’t it amazing how quickly the littles learn they can take the biggers down? 😉

  13. Kimberly says:

    Just found your blog through Lara’s – you are hee-larr-ee-ous! Luvin’ it.


  14. Mary says:

    Jim and Pam better get together before 8 seasons. I just don’t think I can take it if they drag that out.

    I’m glad you reported a good driver, I’ve always wanted to call one of those 800 numbers. We don’t see too many good drivers in any kind of vehicles here in MD. Maybe I’ll have to post about that sometime.

  15. Kelly says:

    Hey! was the Town Crier in my familiy!!! It was a GREAT job.

    You have knee highs in your house too? See? I KNEW we were kindred spirits.

    I have TWO copies of Pride and Prejudice. Because Dude. It is like, so good. (I have Emma on VHS. THAT is how much I adore that movie.)

    Jim and Pam? Yeah. They need to be together. And soon. I am losing my patience.

    I called one of those driving numbers once as well. But it was to report BAD driving. AND I was pregnant. I was one uhappy fat lady, let me tell you. You DON’T drive bad when a pregnant lady is on the road. They WILL tell on you. Trust me.

  16. You are one hundred percent random. I love your thoughts. Let’s hang out! )

  17. Goslyn says:

    Love it, love it, LOVE IT that you called for GOOD driving. I always try to make a point of praising good service, but I’ve never thought to call to comment on courteous driving.

    Love it.

  18. Traci says:

    Sometimes it’s amazing – I know with my head that I have watched certain Jane Austen movies um, several, times, but somehow doesn’t register that I own it and therefore watched it several times. I see them at the store and think, “Oh, that’s SOOO good. One of my favorites. It’s really worth owning. On DVD. Again.” He, he, he.

    I love kissing pictures. When we got married, I had a photographer who followed us around all day snapping candids (because I could NOT fathom the three hour ordeal of standing in rows with various segments of family members, looking all formal) – he took a million impulsive kissing photos. And people on the street when we were walking along and he was snapping pictures were whispering, “Who are they?” like we were celebs, so we’d kiss again and he’d get another…very, very fun. Now I just need to frame a few and put them up on the wall, eh? Five years later.

  19. Kristi says:

    Got a great laugh from the driving report!
    Pam and Jim…together NOW please!

  20. JD says:

    That is one Sassy post! Gum is a favorite as well as the guilty pleasure of The Office. Do knee highs keep them occupied??

  21. bon says:

    I once got hold of the manager of the Der Weinerschnitzel to compliment his courteous and competant staff. He darn near started crying, I swear!

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