Dementia, Pregnancy, or the Brain-Zapping Plague From the Planet Arous

I may just have to WebMD myself… and I hate to do that.  I really do.  That site is guaranteed to turn even the toughest I-refuse-to-go-to-the-doctor-because-I-bike-all-day-and-drink-protein-shakes-every-meal manly man into a raving hypochondriac.

I can diagnose myself with the most atrocious diseases based on symptoms like the ones my entire family is having today:

-keep thinking the cell phone is ringing on vibrate but it’s actually not ringing at all (okay, that one’s just me)
-slightly feverish, ranging up to 102 degrees
-keep asking “why” after anyone makes any statement
-resistent to standing, walking or moving
-suspicious of broccoli
-unable to walk up a flight of stairs without using the hand rail and grunting
-thumbs are suddenly shorter than other fingers

Without having checked in with the “MD”, I think we are most likely all a little pregnant or suffering from some kind of brain cloud.

Oh, and if you want something less morbidly depressing than this post of sickness and stunted digits, please check out my brother’s hilarious post today about country music.  He’s a new blogger.  He’s not a mutha.  He does occasionally make me giggle out loud.

This entry was posted in all about me. Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Dementia, Pregnancy, or the Brain-Zapping Plague From the Planet Arous

  1. Tammy says:

    I cannot believe I happened on your site at just the right moment in time- the first reply! Wow!
    Anyway…you’re right. Either mass pregnancy, a brain cloud over the house…or- perhaps- yes…the flu.

    Hope you all are on the mend soon!

  2. KimC says:

    I’m lost. Somebody clue me in: are you pregnant, or are all of us? I can’t be…just gave birth 8 weeks ago…

  3. Tess says:

    on the hope that it is pregnancy, congratulations!

  4. Heth says:

    My perscription: lots of naps. Lots of naps and a thumb-war tournament.

  5. Can you imagine if our thumbs were the same length as our fingers? Youch.

    We’ve sworn off WebMD over here. Hubby has the same malady his sister grew up with: “Can’t-watch-Marcus-Welby-Quincy-or-St.-Elsewhere-because-I-will-miraculously-contract-the-same-disease-that-was-on-the-show-that-week itis.” It’s extremely catchy.

    Might you be preggers? Congrats!

  6. Congratulations on the start of the third phace of Operation Repopulate Seattle With Attractive Small People. 🙂

  7. Goslyn says:

    Love your new site! And I hope you are feeling better soon.

  8. Susan says:

    I remember pregnancy making my feet bigger but not my thumbs shorter, although I DID spend a lot of time thinking my cell phone was vibrating.

    I don’t know what the point of that was, except that I’m really REALLY hoping you’re pregnant.

  9. Tanya says:

    That would be wonderful if you were expecting!! Congrats (hopefully not too soon).

  10. Mir says:

    So far the only diagnosis I’ve been able to get for that is MOTHERHOOD. But let me know if you come up with something fancier!

  11. Melissa says:

    I also vote pregnant rather than brain-clouded. Is it the kind of thing we can vote on? Pregnancy democracy, or something?

  12. allysha says:

    Hope you all feel better soon-but I may have to check out WebMD myself, because my thumbs have always been shorter than my other fingers!

  13. Lou says:

    gee- that sounds like me everyday lol!

    I think it’s just the motherbug. sorry. you may never recover, but you may find peanut butter smears on your couch. not a great trade off-eh?

  14. I think we’re definitely all pregnant. You should see the size of Magoo’s gut. Seriously. He’s already showing.

  15. yuka says:

    so funny- suspicious of brocolli-ha! i think ‘brain cloud’ is going around because last week i locked myself out of the house twice in one day. first i lost a key on the way to the gym- it vanished from my pocket. so my husband’s assistant drives over to give me his house key which i did not immediately put on my key ring like i should have. then i run out to do an errand and look at my key ring when i get back and think, ‘you have got to be kidding me’ -our only key is now in the apt. call my landlord he gives me instructions on where to find the spares in his shed, i loose reception in the shed about 5 times so have to go outside remember his instructions, which he overcomplicated, then go back into the shed to find the keys. after trying all 30 spare keys 3 times each, none of them working, i find one lonely key at the bottom of the bag that works. get in the apt. and cannot find my husbands key anywhere! so i drive immediately to OSH and get 3 made and hide the spare. the creepy ‘brain cloud’ clincher was that yesterday i put on my gym shorts put my hand in the pocket and THE KEY IS THERE! I thought I was royally crazy. then i realized about an hour later that it was my husbands key that i ‘lost’ and had put in my pocket. wheww. i am not crazy after all-just really ditzy.

  16. Alissa says:

    Oh crap. I’ve got that thumb thing too!!!

  17. Neila says:

    Those symptoms sound awfully familiar. I have also been suffering from a bad case of “failure to get a specific Wiggles song out of your head.” Unfortunately this leads to my humming rendition of “Clap our crazies out” while standing in the check-out line at the grocery store. I wish I could find a cure for that!

  18. Peter says:

    Just in case, Congratulations!

  19. Bobita says:


    I loooove the new digs! Very nice!

    Sorry to hear the clan is all a little pregnant (loved that!). Hope WebMD gave some helpful advice! 🙂

  20. Caryn says:

    Feel better soon! The web is a scary place for a hypochondriac–and anyone on the web has the potential to be a hypochondriac.

  21. surcie says:

    Dude, I’m diggin’ the new design! I have a lot of catch-up reading to do. . .

  22. Lauren says:

    Did I happen on a pregnancy announcement or what? I need to know. Love the new diggs too, btw.

  23. michelle says:

    Just wanted to say that I love the new site!

  24. ABC Momma says:

    I would have loved to come to your town and take care of the lot of you. Then again, I wouldn’t want to catch whatever it is—pregnancy or otherwise. I hope you feel better soon.

  25. Erin says:

    I like the new site! Holy cool categorious links! You and the hub are too too technically amazing. Yeah, maybe this will inspire me to put a picture on my site or something.
    I hope you feel better!! We just got over three weeks of continual random colds. I thought it was August! Let us know on that diagnosis 🙂 I hope its good news.

  26. Shalee says:

    I totally got the brain cloud without the imdb hook up thank you. No need to go there when I know perfectly well that Joe said it, thankyouverymuch. I am often diagnosing myself with that one, with or without the possibility of being “with child”. What am I saying? I’ve got two already… I’m ALWAYS with child (or children).

    Hope you feel so much better in the days to come or at least in less than nine months, whichever comes first.

  27. OK, so I thought you were just trying to be funny and not really saying you are pregnant. But everyone else seems to think so… Please fess up, in plain in English! 😉

  28. No one in my family is currently pregnant Carrie. Thanks to everyone for the congrats though. I’ll tuck them away for another, more bulbous day. When I do get pregnant, I’ll definitely announce it in a much more cryptic and confusing way than this. You’ll be kept guessing the whole 9 months. It. Will. In fact. Rock.

  29. Stacey says:

    Wow, all of you pregnant? That’s a good one! I love checking my symptoms out on the web! It makes me feel so important.

  30. Aubrey says:

    I’m a fourth year med student….so if you think you like to diagnose yourself…. Now that I’ve learned lots of stuff about medicine and disease, I seem to most want to use it on myself. 🙂 So I know how you feel. I mean….just this week I was diagnosing myself with a thyroid disorder, some wierd infection or cancer, and ulcer…..the list could go on. 🙂

Comments are closed.