If the Right Engine Goes First, All Passengers Shift to the Left Side of the Cabin in an Orderly Crossing Pattern

matchingSo, I’m on the plane, alone except for the totally cute non-couple sitting next to me… and all the other people on this completely full 2-hour-delayed flight from Seattle to San Jose. The couple next to me are wearing matching outfits, which they swear was not planned, neither are they a couple. Hmmm… Who goes on a trip, wearing khaki shorts and black t-shirts without a little advanced planning? When I say they’re not a couple, I know what I’m talking about because they quizzed me on it.

When I sat down, eavesdropped and then burst into their conversation, where they “realized” they were looking like twinners, they asked me to guess if they were related, a “couple” or what their relationship was. I guessed couple. They say “just friends” but they’re going to a garlic festival together this weekend and we all know how an experience like that can change people.

We are convinced (I can say “we” because I am also wearing khaki pants and have a black dress packed in my bag so I’m so totally part of the group now.) that our flight crew fully expects this flight to end in tragedy.

I have never heard a more detailed pre-flight safety presentation in my life. Flotation devices were demonstrated fully, along with instruction on how to partially inflate them if we were to make a water landing but were unable to escape through the standard exists for some reason so we would be able to fit through the windows, after which we should proceed to fully inflate the devices. Let’s just say that if I’ve gotta evacuate this booty out one of those airplane windows, there’s gonna be more than a life vest that needs deflating. They offered no contingency plan for this. Several contingencies were covered and the more detailed it got, the more it began to sound like the flight crew had just a little too much experience with crash water landings.

So, if I make it to California alive, I have officially been invited to a garlic festival by two hilarious people who say “This is the best part” when the engines fire up for take-off and “Engage” as the plane lifts off the ground. Star Trek quotes are fully acceptable when you’re sitting next to someone on their way to a “blogging conference”.

Heard over the intercom as we taxied prior to take-off — “Please keep your seatbelts fastened as we are about to experience a rapid drop in altitude”… Are we traveling to California via underground tunnel? I’m not saying it hasn’t been done before but to my knowledge this is the first time it has been accomplished in a 747.

Update: I have already met several amazing women whom I look up to. Chris has been wonderful and fun to hang out with and within less than an hour of arriving in California, I was able to meet Alice. She is amazingly sweet and down-to-earth. I spent a good portion of the morning stalking Mir. The more I meet these women, the more I want to read what they have to say.

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15 Responses to If the Right Engine Goes First, All Passengers Shift to the Left Side of the Cabin in an Orderly Crossing Pattern

  1. Dee Dee says:

    Awesome! Glad you made it there safely. I’ve been to said Garlic Festival in Gilroy. It will forever change you. My husband had the odor coming out of his pours for an entire week. I couldn’t wait until it passed and I could wash the sheets 🙂 They serve everything garlic, including garlic ice cream.

  2. kyouell says:

    Dee Dee is so right about the Garlic Festival. I won’t try the ice cream and I LOOOOOOOVE garlic.

    If anyone wants to come to CA for a food fest that isn’t garlic Stockton has an Asparagus Festival. My mom has been many times and loves it.

    So glad that the plane ride ended where it was supposed to. I’m looking forward to a Vicarious BlogHer.

  3. jennster says:

    that’s what i’m hoping for too- the chance to meet people and then love them for WHO they are, which will interest me in their blogs even more!!!!!!!
    i am laughing my ******* *** off at the getting to cali via an underground tunnel! LOL

  4. Pops says:

    Reminds me of the one where the passengers are waiting to board when the pilot and copilot pass them and enter the plane. Strangely enough, the pilot has dark glasses and a seeing-eye dog, while the copilot is tap-tapping with his white cane.

    So, they all board and the plane taxis to the runway. Then the pilot gives it full throttle and the plane accelerates down the runway. After a while, the passengers realize they aren’t lifting off, but instead are heading for the fence and buildings beyond the end of the runway. Finally the passengers realize they are all going to die and begin screaming. Just then, the plane lifts off and zooms over the buildings.

    As the passengers settle down, a little embarrassed, the blind pilot turns to the blind copilot and says, “One of these days the passengers are going to scream too late, and we’ll all be killed!”

    PS Make sure you meet Guy Kawasaki at the FilmLoops booth!

  5. jessica says:

    Sounds like the flight crew might have had some information you didn’t 🙂 I’m glad you arrived safely (and via tunnel?).

    Have fun being “single” for the trip! You’ll enjoy DYD and the kiddos that much more when you get back.

  6. TBG says:

    I hope you have a great trip! I just found your site through Liz aka Damomma!

  7. Stephanie says:

    Sounds like a fun plane ride.

  8. Pam in Utah says:

    Have fun, you fun fun girl!

  9. emlouisa says:

    I am so jealous. I wish I were there!

  10. CityMama says:

    Glad you made it safely so I could meet you today!

  11. Star Trek quotes are fully acceptable when you’re sitting next to someone on their way to a “blogging conference”. — This is why we love you, DYM!

  12. I’ve never flown, but I don’t know how comfortable I would be about that much detail about crash landing/water landing…

    I hope you enjoy the garlic festival! It should be interesting! Can’t wait to hear more 🙂

  13. Mary Tsao says:

    It was so great to meet you at BlogHer! We didn’t get to talk much, but I loved your questions at the ad discussion with Lisa Stone.

    Here’s a photo of you and Meghan Townsend from that morning.

    Safe travels!

    P.S. If I’m matching my outfit to my friend’s and we’re going to a garlic festival together, we soon will be more than friends. That’s just me.

  14. everett says:

    it was very nice to meet you on the plane! i hope your weekend was as fun as ours. the garlic festival was all that we had hoped it to be, and then a tad more.

    and on the plane ride back home, i ended the journey with this: “mr. warf, take us out of warp.” it seemed to fit well.

    my friend and i matched throughout nearly all the weekend.



  15. john says:

    That is a lovely photograph of my son Everett’s khaki short enveloped legs….hmm…..legs on a plane – sounds like something to pop in a microwave. Lovely site, enjoyed exploring it very much.


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