Modern Times

New House = New Address = Address Changes

Credit Card Recording: Para español, oprima número dos (that’s what I heard anyway)
Me [oprima-ing nothing]
CCR: Hello. Welcome to Credit Card Central. I now have the ability to understand your vocal commands.
Me: Hm.
CCR: I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. I’ll try that again. Please choose from the following menu options. To cancel your credit card, say “cancel.” To change your account information, say “change account.”
Me: Change account.
CCR: You’d like to change your account information? Okay.
Magoo [blowing into cardboard tube]: OOOwwwwoooooooooooooo
CCR: I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. Please select one of the following-
Laylee: Isn’t that chicken hat HILARIOUS??!!
CCR: I’m sorry. I didn’t understand. Please sel-
Magoo [blamming his head]: AAAHHHH. Waahhhhh!!!!
CCR: I’m sorry. I’m having trouble understanding you. Please-
Laylee [clapping her hands loudly right next to my head]
CCR: I’m sorry. I didn’t —
Magoo [opening the dvd player and attempting to snap the tray off]: Abagabagwakkawakkablabala aaaaooooooo
CCR: I’ll get someone to help you.

Thanks. I’d like that. Can she cook? Change diapers? Explain why Doc is the only “dwar-av” whose name is not an adjective?

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32 Responses to Modern Times

  1. Jodi Jean says:

    oh don’t you just hate those voice activated thingies? i have a hard enough time without two little rascals in the back making it harder.

    i too wonder why doc stands out, hmmmm.

  2. Aunt Murry says:

    I usually just push zero or say operator until I get someone I can talk to. I do have one card that when I call I get a real person everytime I call. I have had this card since 1985. And it’s not an AmEx.

  3. Queen Beth says:

    LMAO! I have SOOOOO totally been there!!!

  4. Lorraine says:

    And so you unlock the secret to getting hold of a real person…just make the kids annoy the computer. Love it.

  5. Emily says:

    I’ve had that happen, too…only in my case the electronic voice eventually said “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you. Please call back and try again.” And then hung up on me. I wasn’t particularly happy with that company, let me tell you! 🙂

  6. jd says:

    Crying laughin’ so hard! Why you ask?? Modern Technology didn’t prep for the modern family. That reminds me I have to change my address on my stuff too!!


  7. Grammy says:

    Poor Doc, the “amazing no adjective boy”. Perhaps his is not so much a name or a description as a professional designation. I wonder in what field he earned his PHD?

  8. Naddin J says:

    What I hate about those things is when they say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that,” they sound so freakin’ insincere. You KNOW they just love keeping you on the phone, listening to their blathering monotone, as long as they possibly can.

    Stupid phone-answering robots.

  9. Oh, DYM, there is nobody like you…

  10. Ha, my little guy always messes up those things too! Too funny!!

  11. I hate, hate, hate those things. Obviously thought up by people with no children, just to annoy those of us that do.

    Hope you’re doing good with the moving and all the other parts of your life. *hug*

  12. Chilihead2 says:

    Too funny. I hate those things. I purposely jibber jabber so they will “get me help”.

  13. LOL!

    How come all is quiet until you try to make a very important phone call and then everyone needs you at once? And even after you close yourself in the garage or the bathroom, the computer still picks up the knocking, banging and screaming?

    How come nobody understands, “I’M ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW! PLEASE BE QUIET AND WAIT!”?

  14. Susan says:


    I had the same experience recently, with an airline. Except my “incorrect phrases” involved swearing.

    You’d think an AIRLINE hotline–you know, for rescheduling your CANCELLED flight–would recognize those, eh? Nope.

  15. Nettie says:

    I have the same problem trying to get the voice activated dialer on my cell phone to work in the car (when I need it most) She always responds with, “Unable to identify, please repeat” when I yell, I mean “ask”, everyone in the car to please, be quiet. Yes, said just like that. 😉

  16. A. Borealis says:

    What is really disgusting is when you work in a GIGANTIC corporation and you have to talk to robots just like that to 1) talk to HR, 2) get computer help, or 3) calling in to say that you’re sick.

    It’s sick.

    I “understand” the reason behind the robot, but it is so bloody dehumanizing.

  17. Pastormac says:

    Hypothetical (but eerily familiar) situation.

    Pastor working from home.

    ring ring
    Me: Hello?
    Stressed voice on the other end: Hello, Pastor, do you have a few moments. I really need to talk.

    (Looking around–no kids in sight, all is amazingly quiet in a house of 7)

    ME: “Sure, what’s up.”
    Stressed: Well, Pastor I’m really struggling with…
    SHORTY: papa? Papa?!! PAAAPAAAA!!!!!!
    Stressed: Pastor?
    ME: Sorry about that it’s ok. Go ahead.
    Stressed: Well, it’s my kids, I just can’t seem
    SWEETLY: Papa! Shorty’s screaming!
    Stressed: Are you sure this is a good time.
    ME: (moving to another part of the house.): Of course, I’m sorry you know how it is.
    Stressed: Well yes I do. That’s what I’m calling about. I just can’t seem to control…
    #1 SON: Get off of my foot, or I’ll sit on your head!
    ME: (Moving to a distant part of the house.) Go on, I am listening.
    Stressed: Yes well, I just…
    JOE COOL (approaching hurried footsteps and tears): Papa, he sat on my head!
    ME: Go talk to your Mama.
    Stressed: Excuse me?
    ME: I’m sorry go ahead.
    Stressed: Well, sometimes my kids just..
    JOE COOL: She’s helping Sweetanlo get her earring unstuck from the curtains.
    ME: (moving outside to a distant part of the yard.) I’m sorry it should be ok now. Please, what can I do for you?
    Stressed: (sounding less stressed):Well, actually you’ve helped quite a bit. Somehow I’m feeling much better about things now. oh, by the way I’ve been reading a book on parenting. You might be interested in reading it–just to see if it’s solidly scriptural I mean. Not that you would need.. er, I mean. Well, good bye.
    ME: hanging up with a sigh, and strangely alone.

  18. Kage says:

    Like Aunt MurryI just press zero over and over and over again….I can’t even take it.

  19. ABC Momma says:

    I had an experience with one of those robots today that couldn’t understand me, even without the kids screaming at the time. I said that my b-day is in August and “she” tried to verify that I said February. How did she get that?

  20. Gabriela says:

    This happened to me with my screaming kids and Continental airlines a few days ago.
    It was good in that I got to actually talk to a live human being. 🙂

  21. Erin B says:

    I’ve actually had the reverse happen to me. I called the vet to make an appointment for my dog and every time the receptionist told me the options of times to come in the dogs in the waiting room would bark. I kept having to ask her to repeat it and by the fourth time I was laughing so hard that I could hardly speak. I thought for sure I was on some sort of hidden camera-ish type show.

  22. Oh dude! You are the funniest!

  23. wrigley says:

    this is hilarious! oops…sorry you had that trouble. voice activated do spell irritation sometimes.

  24. Caryn says:

    I don’t understand why some companies don’t even give you the option of pressing the keypad instead. I hate sitting there on the phone telling a machine, “English…Credit card…Need to change account…Address…” etc. I feel especially stupid doing it at work. And I really don’t like having to say my account numbers, etc. out loud when I could type them in instead.

  25. smartmama says:

    seriously one of the levels in dantes inferno- don’t get me started-

  26. Cmommy says:

    LOLOLOL!!! I splutter through those JUST to get a live person on the line :-)C

  27. jessica says:

    I spent, I kid you not, almost a month on such phone calls when we first moved out of Happy Valley. With a 1-month-old and a not quite 2-year-old hollering the background, there was no hope for me! I feel your pain. You’d think with all our advanced technology and whatnot, someone would be able to develop an automated voice thingy that could tell the difference between an adult voice and the screams and inane babble of toddlers whose parents are trying to communicate with said voice activated thingy. Maybe I just want to much out of life 🙂

  28. LOL………….that happens to me EVERY time. Those little recorders pick up the easiest sound….so how come they don’t always hear me when I am talking right into the phone??? I totally related to that posting….LOL

  29. Nicole says:

    Oh the phone answering system thingy. I have actually written on my cards what exactly it is I have to say to get a real live person and bypass all that other stuff.

  30. beth says:

    How many times have I desperately tried to cover the mouthpiece begging a 13 month old to stop making noise in the background? And all I had to do was let him go ahead and bang so that I’d get a human!

  31. Mommy@Home says:

    That is so funny! I really don’t like those new voice activated things. They are so frustrating. Half of the time I will just try to press 0 so that I can talk to a real person.

  32. Sarah says:

    I so agree! I was complaining to my husband about this very think earlier tonight! Just let me push buttons..I want to push buttons. I can’t make my world silent for you..stupid phone!

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