For the sake of this Tuesday’s discussion, we will consider all “diets” to be crazy. I hate them. I want to lose weight. I don’t want to eat cabbage soup, count my calories, assign a complex scoring system to each food item, or work out more than 30 minutes per day, capiche?
Okay.
Here are my tips:
1. Don’t graze (I stole this tip from Kathy Peel). Cows graze. People sit down to eat. Kathy says never eat while standing or while doing another activity. Being a mother, I can see that this means I will likely never eat again and will therefore lose tons of weight.
2. If you’re currently pregnant, give birth. This TOTALLY worked for me.
3. Don’t buy anything that tastes good. If the food is lame, you won’t eat it, right? I think that’s Dr. Phil’s entire diet plan. Oh yeah, he had all that other stuff in there too.
4. Don’t get mad, stressed, annoyed or sad. This will cause you to eat a ton of Trader Joe’s whole-wheat spiral pasta with red sauce and shredded cheese while simmering in a hot bath and crying. The sweat and tears lost in the hot bath will not make up for the calories gained by eating the pasta. Try to remain calm.
5. Blow your nose before you get on the scale. I actually came up with this tip for myself one night, which sent me over the edge. That very night, I put this topic in the Tip Tuesday queue.
I need your help.
You HAVE to have better ideas than these or you’re a lot dumber than you look.
Update: check out The Bloggest Loser.
3. Don’t buy anything that tastes good. If the food is lame, you won’t eat it, right? I think that’s Dr. Phil’s entire diet plan. Oh yeah, he had all that other stuff in there too.
As I always say “good on the lips, bad on the hips” and it works for chocolate as well as for a first kiss.
Hi by the way, I am one of
Heather’s friend, My name is Gwennaëlle and I am wrtting this aaaaaaaaaall the way from France.
Seriously: I need to lose weight as well. I found this herbal tea that is supposed to make you lose weight. Now it is not one of those powder that is supposed to be made with all natural stuff, it is the actuall leaves of whatever is supposed to make you lose weight. I took it for one week. I stopped. It worked too well I lost like one inch on my hips within a week but the side effect is diareah (spelling please?) and oh my gosh! I thought one day I would not go to work because of that. It was baaaaaaaad. And although I got my weight back because I kept on eating junk food, the side effect lasted for three weeks after I stopped. So I bought a new one of the same kind wich is not made with the same herbs and which is supposed to be lighter and without the side effect.
It works for me. I want to lose weight but I don’t have a beauty contest next week so I don’t mind taking more time.
Now I took it this morning for the first time and then I was sick for half an hour and I threw up. Tell me it is just an accident. Tell me it is not a side effect (this one is not supposed to have any)…come on…it can’t be that when it is not one end it should be the other. It can’t be!
We’ll see tomorrow.
Read DYM’s blog. She will make you laugh so hard you’ll get all your stomach exercises in for the day.
I once read that blue is the most unappetizing color. Very few foods are blue in nature.
So, here’s a tip. Dye all your food blue. Just add blue food coloring….can you imagine blue spaghetti? Blue hamburgers?
Would you eat it? Blue tacos! Blue meatloaf! Blue Chicken Parmesean!
Yes, I think this one will work!
Number 2 totally cracked me up. A good laugh is supposed to burn calories, right?
I don’t know if this is a tip or not – mostly it’s a question…
why buy the stuff that makes us fat?
I mean it!
My girlfriend and I lead pretty similar lives and she could stand to lose about 40 pounds and I could stand to lost about 10 —
but she buys all this junk and EATS it.
She will eat a whole box of cookies or donuts or an entire bag of candy.
If you don’t buy it, you can’t eat it.
Frustrating.
Drink a lot of water- firstly, it fills you up- really- secondly, you are too busy running to the bathroom to eat!
Buy a really cheap scale and then discover that if you lean a bit to the front, you wiegh more, but if you put more weight on your heels, you wiegh less. Then choose which way to lean, depending on your mood. It also results in a three pound wieght loss in twenty seconds. Awesome!
Seriously though, exercise. I run so that I don’t have to think about what I am eating. Good motives huh? An exercise buddy is a huge asset, keeps you accountable. Bring on the brownies baby!
I have recently started weight watchers. I find that eating on a smaller plate helps me. Tricks to fool the eye. I would like the idea of the herbal tea…..but I dont think I am ready for a love affair with the loo yet.
I was just posting on this topic yesterday! How funny. That morning, I discovered that I’d lost six pounds overnight. We’re guessing it’s from lack of water. So I recommend weighing yourself first thing in the morning.
This is SUCH a great topic!! I have a few thoughts:
I hate bad tasting food. I don’t want my food to taste like cardboard. And I love to cook. But all that butter – yikes. So I decided to invest in a reputable low-fat type cookbook awhile ago. I bought The Better Homes and Gardens New Dieter’s Cookbook. Hate the name, LOVE the cookbook. All the recipes I’ve tried out of that book I’ve liked (and we cook from it multiple times a week). The way they cook in that book has helped me look at some of my favorite “non-diet” recipes and make them a little more “weight wise.” And ya know what? They still taste good too! Take that Dr. Phil!!
I was reading recently about weight loss surgery (which scares the tuna salad out of me, by the way). What makes it so effective is that the people CAN’T consume as many calories as they did before the surgery. Why can’t that principle work in normal life (without scary life-altering surgical procedures)? I think most people have a pretty good idea how much they eat during the day. So just scale back – a touch. You don’t have to count calories per say, just don’t eat a second helping at lunch or have one less granola bar and something else or whatever. Scaling back a little (I aim for 250-500 calories less a day – give or take since I don’t count them) and you’ll start to see results.
I totally agree with Blackbird. My Aunt is a nutritionist. Her job is to help people loss weight. One of her cardinal rules (and she uses it herself) is don’t bring it in the house. So smart. Yet so hard to do at times!
Awhile ago I posted about Blogging to Lose Weight. While my post was for fun, this has actually been a principle that has worked for me. Along with scaling back, I try to spend as little time around food (i.e., in the kitchen) as possible – hard to graze if you’re not in the field. Blogging is a great excuse to be upstairs away from the smells of food. Ah, the benefits of the blog!!
Sorry this was so long 😉
I try to go grocery shopping when I am full so all the food is unappetizing but then I buy nothing and have nothing to make for dinner the rest of the week.
Totally backfires!
I have no tips, which is why I weigh *%&$ and none of your business. But the herbal tea with side effects – maybe that was a colon cleanser or something? I read somewhere that we carry something like 22lbs of waste, in our intestines. Gross. So I think I may try the herbal tea and lose the 22lbs?
Take up knitting, crocheting, or cross-stitch–then, when you’re watching TV in the evening, you can keep your hands occupied with something OTHER than Doritos.
DYM – I too, have the last stubborn 10lbs that won’t go away since Tom’s birth. But I’ve started walking religiously again – 45 minutes every day – and I’m trying to be sensible about what I eat. (As in eating only ONE candy bar per day, without the cookie-and-ice-cream “dessert” to my candy bar.) LOL. I do so love my chocolate.
My MIL contends that the 10lbs won’t leave till I stop breastfeeding though. We’ll have to see. And good luck!
Is eating chocolate as you read blogs considered grazing? Because I am so doing that. Like you, if eating means sitting down and doing nothing else, I am never eating again. That should help me lose a ton of weight.
Being in a coma
Not that I have tried it, but I think it would totally work.
Mugicha– or Japanese roasted barley tea– is supposed to be good for helping you lose weight. Some how It blocks the fat from being absorbed. I had a friend who needed to lose some weight. She started (A) eating smaller portions (b) walking regularly and (c) drinking lots of mugicha. It wasn’t an overnight difference but it really seemed to work for her. I’ve been drinking a lot of it recently myself and while I definitely need to up my exercize level (from zero), I’m liking the effects myself.
–harpingheather
Alright the ewtra weight was not just in my colon. It was on my hips that I saw it disapearing. I threw away the package of the “hard” one but I still have the “light” one and here is the content (in french so if you want to know what it is just get a dictionnary and have fun) :
15% frêne
15% orthosiphon
15% cassis
15% fucus
15% pariétaire
15% lierre terrestre
10% prêle
So these are all western kind of plant. Get a dictionnary and go harvest your own (now this is not the one that made me run to the bathroom for 3 weeks)
1. Make exercise part of your routine. I regularly (four days a week) walk my daughter to school where I meet with 2 other moms and we walk for 45 minutes. I get up, put on the exercise clothes and it’s routine.
2. water, water, water. What do you weigh? (Rhetorical question-don’t really answer). You should be drinking half your body weight in oz of water a day. So if you weigh 200 (gulp) then you should be drinking 100 oz of water a day. I have a large jug that I fill with water and put in the fridge at the begining of the day. Then I know how much I’ve had and how much I have to go. I also keep my cup close by all day. Yes, I pee a lot.
3. Gum. So often I just want to ‘taste’ something. So I chew gum a lot. The more gum I chew the less food I eat.
That’s all I got for now. I”m trying not to snack and not eating after dinner. Now if I’d stick with those I’d be fine.
Water! If you haven’t been drinking water lateley and you drink at least 64 oz every day for three days, you will drop at least a pound. When you are dehydrated, you retain water.
The trick is, though, you have to keep drinking the water and exercising to keep the weight off.
Also, if you have limited time to exercise, choose either weight/core/resistance or aerobics. Don’t try to do both. You need at least 20 minutes of elevated heart rate for aerobics (running etc) to do any good. So if you only have twenty minutes, do pilates or crunches or weights and get toned, instead of running for 10 and doing sit-ups for 10 minutes. You will burn more calories this way.
You could go on Survivor, they tend to lose a lot of weight.
Be sure to also brush your hair before weighing yourself, thats what I do. Those dry flakes and tangles must weigh something.
I eat ice cream with a baby spoon, I take smaller bites so a bowl of ice cream takes a long time to eat, so I am less likely to go back for seconds (or thirds and fourths). Or, I could just not buy the ice cream, that might work better.
Good luck finding the perfect diet, when you do send it my way, please.
Do NOT buy Chewy Chips Ahoy… oooohhhhh… my secret weakness…
That said, have you thought about an eliptical machine? I’m thinking about getting one eventually. Bikes get dull and the matter of endurance has more to do with how well your posterior can put up with the seat rather than on your legs. Eliptical machines get a better work out but they’re still low-intensity. Perfect for me and my destroyed left knee.
I swear you must’ve read my mind. I am currently monitoring my nutrition and exercise on Sparkpeople and becoming more and more depressed. The scale went down 1 lb from last week, and that was after being sick for three days. This morning – I swear it went up 5 lbs. WTH? What did I do wrong?
I think maybe we should just pretend we’re not on a diet. That’s when I seem to lose weight – when I’m not trying! ???
I had really great success with the Herbalife program. I’ve packed about 15 extra pounds for 5 years (onset of motherhood) and it was a really easy, feasible program to finally lose them.
Exercise? Water? That is soooo not what I wanted to hear. Doesn’t somebody around here have a (non-surgical) magic bullet?
The idea that my poor intestines could be hauling around 20-plus pounds of waste is enough to make me want to skip lunch.
I do Weight Watchers and I like it (but I do the points, not the core program). This time I’ve started exercising 3-4 times per week as well and it seems to make all the difference. I also drink a ton of water.
But here’s something no one has posted yet: rewards. I discussed with my husband that I tend to lose weight when I’m working toward something. So now I reward myself for every five pounds. When I reach my goal weight I’ll get a new dress. Then, for every month I stay at my goal weight or below, I will buy myself something…like a new workout shirt or pants. Oh, and don’t forget to sneak a massage in there too. I really will stop eating if I can have a massage.
When I was a nanny, my favorite time o day was taking wee Alex for walks in his stroller. We both loved being outside and lived in a neighborhood with pretty good hills. I would walk for 45 minutes a day, and once I started losing weight, it made me do a double take at things I was about to put in my mouth. (didn’t always stop me, but i paid more attention.)
that’s all i got – i’m also opposed to all things diet and flavorless, so i’ve been trying to figure this one out myself. in the time its taking me, i’ve been giving myself more to work on. 😛 i think doritos have a homing beacon which i cannot resist – not my fault, right?
Getting the babies out totally worked for me too!
I always have veggies in my fridge that are already cooked and when I am hungry I heat them up, if I get them out and don’t really feel like eating them, then I put them away and walk away because it usually means I am not really hungry. Make sense?
I am not sure it works though because I am still fat.
I lost weight (significant amount) by not eating after dinner. I only ate if it was a very special occasion. Special occasion does not include “had a bad day”.
I also try and eat something whenever I feed my daughter, which is often. Nothing big but if I have a healthy snack (not granola/chocolate bars) I’m less famished when it comes to dinnertime.
Eat breakfast. (and eat something more than a bowl full of carbs) You’ll just be hungry in an hour.
I have been doing WW and lost 25 pounds and now I am just flipping back and forth because I will do really well for a week and then go off for a week. My hubby and I decided to go to something that worked for us when we were in Pennsylvania.
1. Exercise daily, which we already do except for Sundays. When it is nicer out on Sundays, we sometimes take the kids for a light walk.
2. Monday-Friday eat healthy. My hubby is doing Body for Life and I will still do WW as it works for me when I stick to it.
3. Sat and Sun are not free for alls and eat all that you want but we are taking those days off. We will still exercise on Sat but just not worry about the food part as much.
This really did work for us. It was maybe not as fast as we would have liked but we lost a good 1-3 pounds a week. At the time, I did the Walk Away the Pounds and lifted light weights that we had daily and so did my hubby. Now, we go to the gym and do about 60 minutes of exercise. We have a great local gym though that has a childcare center that is relatively inexpensive but the Walk Away the Pounds series are really nice and they have 1, 2, and 3 miles in a set for about 20 dollars. Leslie Sansone can get a bit annoying, but I just tuned her out. This works really well into a schedule.
I think everyone needs to find what works from them and roll with it. I have just been so off and on lately that I decided I needed to go back to our old plan because I really felt good to know that I did not always have to think about dieting and calories and that on weekends I could breath a bit. I think my biggest goal is to be healthy and the rest will follow.
I’m with everyone who says drink water! I’ve been buying the frou frou flavored water at SuperTarget (prononced TAR-JAY) so it feels like a treat. Occasionally I will put it in a nice glass, but mostly I just swill it from the bottle. And then the boys use the empty plastic bottles to thunk each other on the head! Fun for all.
And I think I am the only woman in America (nay, the WORLD) who came home from the birthing of the baby weighing MORE than before said baby came out. Seriously. It happened TWICE.
I try not to eat after 8pm (key word: try), knowing that whatever I eat later in the evening is going to just sit there, rather than being worked off over the course of the day.
If you are into exercise, try to do it in the morning. That will boost your metabolism through the whole day.
Another metablolism booster is grapefruit (remember the late 90’s grapefruit diet?). Have a glass of juice with breakfast.
Have ‘goal clothes.’ I have a pair of ‘goal jeans’ that I’d like to fit into…someday.
The only place willpower works for me at all is in the store. If I can manage to NOT BUY the stuff, then even if I’m sitting at home craving it, it’s not there. If I buy it, I sit down and eat the whole bag while reading blogs and don’t even notice.
Also, if you feel hungry, drink a glass of water and wait fifteen minutes. A lot of times you get busy and forget, or else weren’t really that hungry.
I think the best thing for loosing weight is to be under 50 years old. I used to just think about loosing and off it came. It got tougher after 40 and after 50 – FORGET IT! I think this is God’s plan to make comfy laps for grandkids.
Don’t just blow your nose and brush your hair before the scale, also go to the bathroom and pluck your eyebrows and trim your nails.
Hey,.I’ll take anything I can get.
This is sooooo hard but — stop eating 4 hours before bedtime. That, coupled with water, coupled with not driving ever and getting everywhere via foot and public transportation, are all really good. I’ve also pre made portion snacks before…a cup of carrots, a cup of cheese cubes, a cup of apple chunks….that way it cuts down on having the fridge open and pondering what’s inside.
Bob Greene has a good program called Total Body Makeover which focuses more on lifestyle change than anything else….it’s a plan that can be done withot elminating favorite foods.
Also, sometimes I just eat an entire pint of ice cream. It’s just a good idea.
Been there…doing that!
I am on a makeover mission!! I am on week 8 and have lost 20 lbs and 21 inches. Now can put on my jeans (with room!) that have been stuck at my thighs for waaaaaaaaaay too long. There is a group of us gals who are on this together that are helping hold eachother accountable. Helped me! Tonight is weigh in.. so HOPEFULLY those numbers will be higher!!
Here’s one I heard lately: only eat one or two kinds of food at each meal. To put this in perspective, think about how much you can pack away when at a smorgasbord. Boredom = stopping in time.
I could probably write a book about this topic but I’ll spare all of you. The things that have worked for me.
1. Divorce (lost TONS of weight including husband…) Not Recommended.
2. Loss of loved one (lost TONS of weight too….but also a dear grandma) Not Recommended.
3. Send lst kid to college (lost TONS of weight … missed her terribly) Not Recommended
Okay so you see the trend here, my yo-yo diet has NOT come without a price I can tell you that.
However, I have tried to be more sensible in my “old-age” and thought I no longer have the svelte body of a 25 year old (heck even a 30 year old) I can lose weight and do pretty well by
1. Drinking a lot of water.
2. Not eating sugary snacks between meals.
3. Having dessert only once a week.
4. Only eating bread at one meal a day (that’s ONE serving of WHOLE GRAIN bread)
5. Keeping busy
6. Exercising 6 days a week for at least an hour a day (sometimes in two 30 minute sessions….say running or eliptical BEFORE breakfast and a walk after lunch or dinner)
Good Luck sweetie…and doesn’t it feel great to have so much company!
Here are some diets that worked for me:
1) Get a full set of braces with headgear.
2) Have your heart horribly, brutally, feels-like-you’ll-die-or-never-fall-in-love-again broken
3) Watch a graphic medical/veterinary surgery-type show before eating.
Great blog! You’re a terrific writer. And mucho funni-o.
Don’t eat anything that tastes good… I had a doctor tell me that when I was pregnant with my son and boarderline gestational diabetic. I had to look at him with this look of disbelief, here it was summer and my favorite things are fresh vegetables out of the garden. LOL
Who knew? I actually have a tip for you. Heaven knows I need all the tips I can get, and pretty much have none to give… But. This time, I do.
I lost 40 pounds in 2 years by changing a lot of my bad eating habits. (this was like 6 years ago, btw…)
1. Stopped drinking all soda and all sugary drinks. Pretty much, I drank water for two years. A lot of water.
2. No fast food. Not ever. Especially burger joints.
3. Did not eat after 7p.m.
4. Ate breakfast every day. (usually the carnation chocolate drink because I hate breakfast food.)
5. No white bread… only wheat.
6. Oh. And I drank milk. That whole dairy campaign that says if you get your dairy servings per day, you will then lose weight is not lying.
7. And then of course… everything in moderation. I still had chocolate and ice cream…. but just a little. I never over-indulged. Not once. Because I was VERY serious about getting the weight off.
I could go on and on about exercising and what not… but I won’t because I figure you are getting your exercise. Two kids equals a lot of cardio. I know. I do it everyday as well.
Taking the weight off during the two years was the best thing that I have ever done. I never gained the weight back…. even after having my two kids.
I say taking weight off the slow way is the permanent way.
Hope this helped you a little…..
Now try each of these tips every day and you will weigh merely 75 lbs in no time!
the Zone works for me because it is not HIGH this or LOW that, but balanced, and includes all the foods I love: lean proteins, fresh and lightly cooked fruits and veggies and smaller amounts of grain foods.
I had 20 lbs of cookies and lattes creep up on me over the last two years and shed it all from June to January – just applying the common sense principles of the Zone. (Mastering the Zone (book) is how to without all the medical /technical details of the first book)
Main tip: stay away from processed food, not just for weight loss but for health = live longer for the love of God.
I was the skinniest I ever was when I started swimming after my third baby. I swam for a full hour 3 to 5 days a week, because of back pain from a bad epidural. I felt and looked so good. Unfortunately I moved away from the close cheap pool, and have had a hard time since.
I agree most assuredly with Corina Bowen and Kelly (especially) and whoever said they were doing it with a group, for support and reinforcement.
There are some other horrible ways to loose weight, like the chemo weight loss program, the “get your hormones completely out of whack” (from age related hormonal changes or hysterectomy) one, and I hear there may actually be a virus that could be a cause. Also, there may be a gene that has gone awry. It’s funny, but one pregnancy I couldn’t eat sugar stuff at all or it made me sick (not diabetic, though) so I didn’t crave it, and I ate whole fruits instead of juices, and lots of vegetable. I gained the least weight and lost that weight fast after birth! Too bad whatever caused it went away (maybe hormones?) Well it was fun to read you all. Thanks Pam
haha
I just posted about eating an entire crockpot of beef stew (maybe not quite)
The key is eat less EXERCISE MORE
People just dont want to accept it.
You should always eat at a table. Don’t watch TV while you eat–your brain can only focus on one thing, so if you are focused on the TV and not on eating, then your body won’t register that you’re full and you’ll eat more. Diet Coke makes you hungrier. You should ideally take at least 20 minutes to eat–it takes that long for your body to register that you are full. Eat in courses–have a salad before your meal instead of with it. Drink half your body weight in ounces of water–if you weigh 140, then you should drink 70 ounces of water a day. A good way to do this is to buy a water bottle, fill it up every night, put it in the fridge, and start drinking from it in the morning. Oh, and dark chocolate is good for you–it’s healthier than other chocolates, and it’s richer so you’ll want less.
Haha, having a baby worked for me too! I list like 20 pounds in that exchange (the baby weighed 10 of those).
I like breastfeeding for weight loss too. I swear, I eat like a trooper but have still managed to lose most of what I gained during pregnancy. Like many others I have that last stubborn 10 to lose.
I would recommend having a horrible reaction to a nasty antibiotic (Augmentin) and diarrheaing yourself into fast and permanent weight loss, but it DOESN’T WORK! Night before last, I had 30 episodes of diarrhea in a 4-hour period, and I didn’t lose an OUNCE!!!!! I’m sorry, but that’s just tragic… 😉
Katy http://www.fallible.com
I’ve never had a weight problem (my mother’s family is skinny), but my husband has always struggled. He lost lots of weight in college eating air-popped popcorn with no butter or salt – filling and low-calorie. Also running 3x per week worked pretty well. And, though you said no crazy diets, Atkins worked for him.
Now we try to eat a balanced diet (though we never seem to get enough veggies in) with less processed foods (though sometimes that means there is “nothing to eat” and we have to get restaurant food), but the pounds keep creeping on. Frustrating.