Revising Religious History and a Possible eBay Jackpot

We have effectively wiped King Herod from the Daring Family annals of biblical history. I’m not losing much sleep over it. From what I hear, that guy was trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Power-hungry Psychopath.

Laylee has also decreed that all three wisemen were actually women. They wore fancy clothes and sparkly jewelry-like crowns so, ya know, it’s kind of obvious. When I explained that they’re called wise MEN because they are of the male persuasion, she was quick to correct my prononunciation. “WiseMINN!” she laughed, “They’re not called wise MEN! Wise MEN are boys but WiseMINN like in the Baby Jesus story are girls.”

jesus-paintingAnd I should listen to her. She’s the one who’s gonna make us a zillion dollars on eBay finding the Savior’s image in milk blobs. When asked what this milk blob painting looked like, Laylee in an attempt to earn us preschool bonus points for Christian piety, declared this to be a perfect likeness. I wonder what a sighting like this goes for on internet auction this time of year.

I’m having sightings of my own. What do the words on this container look like when viewed upside down in the refrigerator at night through squinty little eyelids?

jesus-spinach

That’s what I thought too.

jesus-spinach2

”˜Tis the season!

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16 Responses to Revising Religious History and a Possible eBay Jackpot

  1. Debby Neal says:

    I love the wit and humor of your blog. It’s awesome! You need to write a book! You will make gazillions. Can I be in your fan club?

    p.s. I have your baby blanket. 🙂

  2. Sue says:

    Laylee is very wise and progressive, tee hee…

  3. Rebecca says:

    My Baby spends all of her time rearranging our Nativity…. we’re reading The Best Christmas Pagaent Ever right now and my kids take the Herdman’s view of Herod.

  4. You cannot sell that portrait for silver or gold. It looks just like him! That is a family heirloom!

  5. MaryLu says:

    Love the Baby Jesus lettuce!! Where do I get some!?
    Oh, I know–bleary eyed, middle of the night, grabbing juice from the fridge to comfort some bawling child.
    I saw it last night at my house too.

  6. Stephanie says:

    That’s funny. Funny Lettuce.

  7. I do believe that is the best adaptation of a Harold Hill song I’ve ever read…

  8. Beth says:

    I loved this post! You always tie things so nicely together, and that Laylee is both adorable and wise at the same time. You’re obviously doing something right if she sees the hand of God in such small things as her glue-blot. And I chuckled at your spinach (though my first thought was “ecoli!” I’m sure the spinach farmers will never live that down with me).

  9. I’m your new BFF because you clearly know all about the Music Man. One of my guilty pleasures: showtunes. lots and lots of showtunes. I think I may post along those lines someday soon. Laylee is perhaps laying the groundwork for future studies in misogyny (Wise Man, WiseMinn, Women, WoMyn, blah blah)

  10. T with Honey says:

    On a quick glance my brain turned Epinards into Epiphany.

  11. As soon as I saw the first picture I saw the Jesus in the name! Hah

    Let me put on my shrink hat-

    “I, Dr. Fussypants, do declare that is the best answer to a rorschack test ever!”

    Hey Kimberly- She’s my internet BFF. I called it first! LOL. 🙂

  12. Betsy says:

    I’m just dying to tell this one: My just-turned-5-year-old, Tim, could care less about Baby Jesus, but would much rather hear the story of the crucifixion. And yesterday he said, “if I was God, I would come down from the cross and make one of the soldiers be on the cross instead!” He kept talking about how God has so much POWER, and when playing with his brother with his new playmobil pirate ship, they talked about teams — who the good guys and the bad guys were. Bad guys = pirates and bad guy soldiers. Good guys = good guy soldiers and policemen, and God. And this line, “God is on my team and he has lots of power and can do anything!” That’s preschool theology for you: God is stronger than all the other action figures!

  13. Lori says:

    I must be having problems. I can’t figure out what the middle picture is supposed to say. Little help here?

  14. Edge says:

    I tagged you for the Christmas Hoopla!

  15. Vee says:

    Love it! Hug that child for me! She’s too cute!!

  16. Kristin says:

    That is cute! I see it!

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