Schnuli

My next door neighbors raised their first baby in Germany. They speak German at random times. They correct their children in German. They count to three in German but never make it to three. I only know how to count to two. They call binkies “Shnulis” (like shnoo-lee) and I absolutely love it. So we’ve started calling them that too.

Wanda is our first Shnuli Baby. She loves it but doesn’t need it except to sleep. I use it when we’re somewhere very germy so she won’t shove her bacteria-ridden fingers and toes in her mouth.

My mom made her one of those big soft cover things for shopping carts and I’ve recently started strapping her in like a big girl. She loves to find ways to get the schnuli dirty despite my most earnest efforts. If there is one piece of plastic showing on that cart, she will use the schnuli like a paint brush, rubbing uuuup and doooowwwn very slowly and periodically checking out of the corner of her eye to be sure I’m watching. Then when the trip gets really boring, she chunks it out through the leg hole and watches as it gets smaller and smaller and smaller in the distance.

Recently I looked over at her with her schnuli in and thought, “I’m so glad she has that thing in to prevent her from swallowing Legos or buttons that may be lurking around where I can’t see them. She can always find something to choke on no matter how clean I make things.

As far as I could tell, she kept the thing in her mouth until lunch time. I took it out of her mouth, put her in the high chair and fed her several bites of rice cereal before noticing she had something purple in her mouth. It was a heart-shaped candy which she had been sucking on behind the schnuli and WHILE eating the cereal. That kid is a diabolical schnuli-faced sneak. She hides behind it so I don’t know what’s really going on in her mouth.

Freaks me the heck out.