Nope. I’m Not Having Twins.

Yep. I’m sure.

Last week I had 11 people ask me this. Most were strangers. They were serious. A few were friends. I think it was an attempt at commiseration.

At one point I was walking through the swimming pool dressing room fully clothed when I heard someone yell out to me from the other side of the room, “You’re about ready to pop, eh?” I turned around. When you look like me and someone yells something like that from 50 feet away behind your back, you know they’re talking to you.


“I bet you get sick of hearing that.”

“Yep. Especially since I’m not due for another 6 weeks.”

“Oh HONEY!”

Indeed. Honey-child. Sistah-friend. GIRRRLLL. I am large and whale-like.

She told me I looked great, which I decided to believe because when someone is looking at you with pity and telling you how fabulous you look, they have to be telling the truth, right? Honestly. I feel cute when I’m pregnant. My body shapes itself in a way that announces our upcoming joy and sleepless nights and doesn’t leave anyone any room to wonder if I’m just packing away too many Peanut Butter Twix bars.

So it seems that the physical therapy and water exercise are paying off. I feel less like the lower half of my body is being snapped in pieces and more like a late-term pregnant woman, experiencing late-term pregnancy “discomfort.” It’s been a huge improvement.

In exciting news, it looks like this baby’s big like Fat Boy Magoo. At my last appointment she was measuring about 5 lbs by ultrasound and if she follows the trends and doubles in weight the last 6 weeks… OUCH! So the doctor plans to take her a week early! This thrills me. The last two times my due date just meant the date where I’d start asking for an induction and waiting with even more impatience.

Now I have a cut-off date in my head that makes the last minute antsyness and uncomfortability more bearable. We spent some time today looking at pictures of the other two when they were fresh and new and I can’t wait to meet little Wanda.

Hopefully we’ll find her a real name in the next month.

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18 Responses to Nope. I’m Not Having Twins.

  1. Jill says:

    I had someone ask me if I was “ready to pop any day now” in June and then when I replied that actually I wasn’t due until October, she tried to recover by saying that I must be having twins. That was with my first one and I didn’t get any smaller with the next 3 pregnancies. But I always had beautiful 8 to 10 pound babies that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Good luck with the last few weeks of your non twin carrying pregnancy. I think you look great.

  2. Crystal says:

    I HATED that while I was pregnant (just a few weeks ago). I’ve never had so many people tell me, in various ways, that I looked fat. And I gained less weight this pregnancy than with my first. I am astonished that although there is no other time in a woman’s life when people would think it’s okay to tell her she looks fat, they think it’s totally acceptable when she is hormonal, uncomfortable, and probably nauseated. Where’s the love?

    I decided I would respond by saying, “You’re looking chunky yourself. I’m glad I at least have a good excuse!” Or “I was just noticing how foul you smell. I’m gonna have to leave before I puke on you.”

  3. Karen says:

    I sympathize intensely. Ooooh, how I sympathize.

  4. Mrs Lemon says:

    I think I’d rather hear people fumble over themselves lying about how great I look than someone telling me I don’t even look pregnant. WHAT? Yes I most certainly do look pregnant! i do not normally have a distended stomach and waddle.


  5. Keyona says:

    I’m sure you’re beautiful! Can’t wait to see Lil’ Miss Wanda!

  6. Tiffany says:

    When I was pregnant with my second, my Bishop asked if I was having twins. I said, NO! and he said Well you sure look like it. Gee, thanks.

    I also had a Walmart employee ask me if she needed to call an ambulance. I thought, Do I really look THAT bad? Oh, my.

  7. allysha says:

    Looking forward to Little Daring, a.k.a. Wanda! Haven’t there been stories about expecting just one and getting two? Okay, just kidding. I don’t want to send you into a panic there…

  8. cbs says:

    I was told I looked like I swallowed a basketball once. That was before my due date.
    I loved being able to answer the question, when are you due, with 13 days ago! People’s faces were priceless, especially when they thought I might give birth in their place of business.

  9. Nancy says:

    I’m sorry, but did you just say PEANUT BUTTER TWIX? I thought they stopped making that about 10 years ago!

    Peanut Butter Twix?


  10. A big jolly little girl! (With personality, the elder sister will insist). 😀


  11. Whale like is worth it to get a little darling!!


  12. Joni says:

    Ugh. People can be so rude. I’ve yet to enjoy that whole pregnancy thing myself, but I’ve heard stories about people randomly coming up to pregnant women to touch their stomachs like they would Buddha for luck. I’ve already worked up my line of defense for that one: Rub their stomachs in return. As for those wonderfully well meaning people who find fat euphemisms for women who are beautiful and pregnant, just ask them when they’re due or ask if they’re having twins too.

  13. Amanda says:

    I know what you mean. I’m feeling as huge as a house! When I said that to someone the other day, she said, “Well you SHOULD–you are housing a baby.” Thanks…true, but thanks. My first 2 were 7 lbs. or less at birth. At 36 weeks, this one is already measuring 8 lbs. I’m feeling more stretched than ever before–I’m glad he’s coming a few weeks early. I’ll be rooting for you over the next few weeks! You can do this!

  14. I wouldn’t put too much faith in the weight estimate. I had an ultrasound with my daughter at 33 weeks and the tech told me she was a couple of ounces over 5 lbs. My family tends to grow large babies, so I was expecting a 9-10 pounder.

    Instead, she came out one day after her due date (or two days before, depending on whether count by my date or my midwives’) at just over 6 lbs. I’ve actually read research that shows late-term weight estimates can be off by as much as 2 lbs! That’s a lot when the average baby only weighs 7.

    In any case, I hope that your baby weighs just what she is supposed to and you have a wonderful labor and delivery!

  15. JD says:

    I was told to start smoking and pray for a small birth weight. When I was pregnant with my first. I have considered it (I think my hubby and bishop may have some probs but eeh whatever 🙂 . My children are BIG when they cook all the way.

  16. Alyssa says:

    I feel your pain. I’m due 9/23, and almost daily my boss has to comment on just how big I am. Thanks a lot.

  17. Carrie says:

    Coming from someone who’s been there, done that – all I can say is that I TOTALLY understand what you’re going through…

    And I’m happy it’s you and not me this time! 😉 You hang in there Kathryn, she’ll be here before you know it!

  18. Kim says:

    I am 6 months pregnant and on an almost daily basis now, someone is saying “were you this big the first time” or “are you sure it isn’t twins” … it is offensive, rude and just unreal. Even if I say “that isn’t something you should tell someone” or “that is very hard to hear” – these rude people just keep talking! I want to start responding – “you know, you look 10 years older than you are, but I’d never be so rude to say that to you”. After enough comments and a long day of work, it is very hard to deal with. Why do people think a pregnant woman’s body is any of their business

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